I was discussing the Future Me post with Hydrox and his littermate, Naiad, a few days ago and they suggested some other letters to the guy I was would probably be in order. Those two were there through those years wondering with me where the next bag of Purina cat food would be coming from after I gave us a Y2K [ http://sofarfromheaven.com/category/y2k/].
To be delivered January 1, 2002.
“All that Y2K credit history and the mistooken belief the IRS would collapse is catching up with you.
“You’ve always succeeded in everything you did. Now you’re basing your decisions on that history, but you’re failing to comprehend that everything’s changed. Don’t waste your life in all those months of self-doubt and guilt, judging yourself against a set of standards and assumptions you learned from Grand-dad and you’ve always tried to live by. Those are dead.
“You are still you. You’re still strong, and you still have a million things to be grateful for. What those human resources departments believe is meaningless, doesn’t say a thing about whom and what you are because they reject you.
[Hydrox says to tell Hydrox he can save himself a lot of grief by staying out of that bucket of waste grease behind the Chinese restaurant in front of the apartment. And if he gets it on him, tell him to just belly up to the bar and get it shampooed off in the bathtub. Licking it will provide a lingering case of the Egyptian Ducksquirts.]
“You’ve always relied on yourself and you now have to start doing it again in ways you never thought possible. You are about to have to become a person living in the shadows, off the government paperwork, inside the underground economy. The sooner you understand there’s no place for you in the ordinary job market the better off you’ll be.
“Old Deano, [A Strange Way of Thinking] over in Belen’s going to try to talk you into learning blackjack. You’ll want to shrug and resist. My advice to you, is ponder it. Don’t resist so hard, but don’t believe anything he, nor anyone else tells you about the nuts and bolts of playing it until you study it all and think it through. What’s said by the experts is largely BS.
[Hydrox and Naiad both want you to urgently inform their counterparts NOT to stay indoors when you go off working 11pm to 7am at that damned motel every night and to keep a sharp eye out for those damned cat-killing dogs.]
“Don’t let anything surprise you except by hindsight, as it surprises me, all these years later in 2011.
“These are just short-term morsels. Deano’s been dead so long I barely remember him.
“You, my friend, are entering a brave new world. Savor every minute of it. Maybe I’ll send you an email occasionally to hint you along.
“Hang in there amigo. You can do it.”
[Hydrox and Niaid in two-part harmony to Mehitabel: “YOU ain’t here, BITCH!]
Yourself, 10,000 blackjack hands in the future, and after it’s a dim memory.