The Backyard Chickens Conspiracy

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

Yesterday I got an email from someone called himself Rob, AKA ‘Nifty Chicken’ of the Backyard Chickens newsletter telling me I need to re-register. 

“This is Rob, AKA “Nifty-Chicken” of www.BackYardChickens.com.   I noticed that you’re registered for our newsletter, but can’t find you in our community membership.  This quick note is to let you know of some important changes and to help you get re-registered so you can continue receiving the BYC Newsletters.”

Naturally, I’m deeply suspicious about this.  Someone’s wanting me to become a part of their ‘we’ over there without me having done anything to deserve it, other than subscribing to their newsletter for several years. 

Then I went over to the site instead of clicking the ‘register’ part of the email and the first thing I saw was:

Welcome To BYC!

Hi Peeps,   Welcome to the new & upgraded version of the BackYardChickens.com website!   There are a ton of exciting new features and areas of the site for you to explore.  To help get started we suggest you… » read more

Can you imagine that?  I go over there with more-or-less neutral intentions, other than a few suspicions about what manner of ‘we’ someone was demanding I include myself in, and the first crack out of the box he calls me a ‘Peep’?   The guy thinks people joining his ‘we’ are peeps.

Whatever the hell a peep is.   Strikes me this might be a group of ‘we’ folk who go around looking through windows trying to see naked women.  Nothing whatever to do with chickens.

Or he’s an agent provacateur for Homeland Security trying to identify all the people who’d be gratified to belong to a ‘we’ that considered itself peeps.

I’ve donealready got plenty of ‘we’ stuff in my life.  I ain’t including myself in any we bunch of peeping toms even if they’re peepers that like chickens.  Heck, maybe it’s chickens they’re sneaking around spying on.  Maybe they’re trying to find out where I am so they can come in here nights spying on the Great Speckled Bird and the hens do and talk about when I shut them up in the fortress nights.

Or more sinister yet, maybe they’re trying to see if I gather the eggs every day.  Or whether they’re doing okay on the milo feeding I’ve been doing lately to save money.   Or somebody over there read the post, Shame and a Confession About Inter-Species Sex and thinks because I have a perverted chicken I’d want to draw my circle of ‘we’ bigger and feel a part of some group of peepers. 

I think it might well be one of those government traps like the one they did in Colorado a few years ago, sending in agents to open up a taxidermy shop, putting out the word they’d buy endangered species carcasses under the table.  After a couple of years they’d bought and paid for hundreds of otherwise healthy endangered birds and animalcules and collected names dates and places of the folks killed them because there was suddenly a market.

Indicted half the community before it was over.

I ain’t joining no government plot to arrest my rooster.  As far as I know he can’t even get out nights to do any peeping.

Old Jules

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15 responses to “The Backyard Chickens Conspiracy

  1. Reblogged this on theeddie24ful and commented:
    bien

  2. Well I guess Peeps is better’n Poops. Love the chook , might join the chicken peepers myself if they have such cool birds on show.

  3. apocalypseicons: I’ve always enjoyed the newsletter. I don’t plan on enjoying membership to the inclusive ‘we’ of joining their community, however. I don’t know why they’re doing it, but I get plenty of spam email already and try to avoid having my name sold to whomever might send me more. I don’t have time to be helping out African ladies who have stashes of money from when their fathers or husbands died in plane crashes and need someone to sneak it out of the country for them. But the newsletter’s fun and I hope they’ll keep sending it despite me not wanting to make friends with a group of peeps. Gracias, Jules

  4. Yeah watch em Jules who knows what kind of Heinous acts they are up to!Dang man my girl in africa is hitting on you too? I told to just wait and I’ll get her out!

    China
    III

  5. It sure pays to be ever-vigilant! One of your best posts!

  6. Hahaaaaaa … I forget how I came to know your blog … but glad I did! hilarious… great looking rooster!

  7. A good Monday morning chuckle. Poor Red.

  8. Sounds like we both are founding members of the Non Joiners Club.

  9. And here’s the reason I subscribe to blogs via google reader instead of directly. My e-mail box doesn’t get filled up with notifications and I’m a little more anonymous. I highly recommend it.

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