Category Archives: Human Behavior

Robert Satloff, dual citizenship Israel/United States

Hi readers.

Sometimes lousy things happen to good people, though it seems more often good things happen to lousy people.  This journalist named Sotloff might be such a case.  One way or the other.  Because a single vowel in his surname separates him from being of the same primary gene stock as a possible foaming at the mouth dual citizenship Israeli in a US positions of power.

The Israeli who’d  like nothing better than to slaughter every Arab on the planet isn’t easily distinguishable from those who only want to steal the land outside legally established Israeli borders inside Palestine.  Individual Israelis have thus far been able to obscure such questions with accusations of anti-Semitism whenever they’ve been spoken.  And obfuscated it further by claiming the lands they don’t own in Palestine and East Jerusalum actually belong to them legally because God said so.

Maybe an unfortunate coincidence for prisoner Sotloff being held by freedom fighters in Syria or Iraq.  Who might, or mightn’t hold dual-citizenship, Israeli/United States.

The non-prisoner Sotloff in question has a nice piece up on Among the Righteous – Lost Stories of the Holocaust in Arab Lands.  I suppose a person would have to buy the DVD to find out whether  it’s typical Israeli anti-Arab propaganda, or some attempt at honesty.

Maybe the guys holding Satloff will fork out the currency and watch it when they’re deciding whether he needs his head chopped off.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/among-the-righteous/about.html

Did any Arabs save Jews during the Holocaust?

March 21, 2010

Among the Righteous recounts Robert Satloff’s eight-year effort to provide a hopeful response to the problems of Holocaust ignorance and denial in the Arab world by asking a question no one had ever before posed: Did any Arabs save any Jews during the Holocaust?

His journey, which began on the streets of Manhattan on September 11, 2001, eventually took him on an eleven-country, four-continent search for courageous Arab heroes who helped protect Jews during their time of need. Along the way, he also unearthed a vast, unexplored story of what actually happened to the half-million Jews of the Arab lands of North Africa under Nazi, Vichy, and Fascist rule.

From the labyrinthine alleys of Tunis to the bustling souk of Fez to forgotten desert slave labor camps along the Morocco-Algeria border, Among the Righteous explores perhaps the last untold story of the greatest human calamity in modern times – the Holocaust. Filmed in eight countries — including Tunisia, Morocco, France, and Israel — the surprising discoveries chronicled in the film are already challenging how both Arabs and Jews view a long-forgotten but vitally important chapter of the Holocaust.

About the Web Site

Most of all, this Web site is an invitation to a conversation about Among the Righteous and a platform for further research. If you have a story to tell an Arab who helped, aided, protected, or saved a Jew during the Holocaust, please share it. If you have personal information about Arab-Jewish relations during the Holocaust, share it. If you would like to comment about the contemporary relevance of this history for Arabs and Jews, post it here. This moderated interactive forum will be open through October 2010.

This Web site complements the book and the PBS documentary film of the same name. It presents in visual form additional material that is not found in either the book or the film. For full context on the stories and information provided on this site, please refer to the book and to the additional educational resources listed on this Web site.

About the Author

Robert Satloff, one of the nation’s leading Middle East experts, is executive director of The Washington Institute, a respected policy think-tank, and host of Dakhil Washington (Inside Washington), a weekly public affairs program on al-Hurra Arabic satellite television network. Since the publication of Among the Righteous, Dr. Satloff and his work have been awarded the Anti-Defamation League’s prestigious Daniel Pearl Award for tolerance promotion as well as national prizes from the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, the Simon Wiesenthal Center and Touro Synagogue.

Take It Home

You can purchase a DVD copy of this documentary and the accompanying book through the PBS Shop:

Buy the DVD

World’s Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises

International titans of industry, media, and politics examine one another’s genitals.

The Onion NewsPoliticsISSUE 46•46Nov 17, 2010

http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-power-brokers-hold-annual-summit-where-they,18474/

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world’s most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.

This year’s meeting was chaired by a committee that included Rupert Murdoch, former U.S. national security adviser Brent Scowcroft, oil heir David H. Koch, and Japanese finance minister Yoshihiko Noda, all of whom presided over the traditional penis-showing ceremony that has for decades been a banner event for the most influential international power brokers.The resort where the conference was held.

“I always look forward to this crucial and productive gathering,” said industrialist and banker Jacob Wallenberg of the Swedish Wallenbergs, a prominent European family that has wielded significant clout in global financial and political affairs for more than two centuries. “To see the penises of so many like-minded, forward-thinking men and to show them my own penis—this is what keeps the global wheels of industry and ingenuity turning.”

“After all, these are inarguably the most important penises of our time,” Wallenberg added before unzipping his tuxedo pants and heading back into a scrum of other immensely powerful and wealthy men already gazing contemplatively at one another’s exposed genitalia.

As it does every year, the ceremony followed a strict a system of seniority wherein members first reveal their sex organs to the seated committee and assembled invitees before the floor is opened up for general penis exposition. The honor of the showing of the first penis this year was given to billionaire real estate mogul Leonard Litwin, 95, the oldest member in attendance.

The penis of Pope Benedict XVI.

The annual penis-showing summit has a rich history, having first been held in 1957 at a Lake Tahoe chateau owned by American banker David Rockefeller, Sr. of the hugely influential six-generation Rockefeller oil dynasty. According to Rockefeller, the gathering was born of the simple idea that “the people who hold the most sway over the direction of world affairs ought naturally to have some sense of what each other’s penises look like.”

Since that time, power brokers from every continent—including people from backgrounds as widely varied as Hollywood film producer Robert Evans and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein—have attended the summit to see other great men’s penises and to put their own penises on display.

“As the most junior invitee, when I had to stand in the middle of the ballroom and rotate slowly to show everyone my exposed penis after everyone else had showed theirs, there was a palpable sense of the history of all the great men’s penises that have been presented here over the years,” 26-year-old billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said. “And of course, to have my penis seen by luminaries such as [Russian prime minister] Vladimir Putin and [Saudi] King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud is just such an honor.”

“It really makes you feel like you’re having a major impact on the world,” added Zuckerberg, the tip of his penis just peeking out from beneath a crisply starched white dress shirt.

Commenting on the tradition they hold in solemn regard, many in attendance said they view the summit primarily as a meeting of great minds, and then the showing to each other of the penises of the men who possess those great minds.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole year since I last saw Warren Buffett’s penis,” Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke said while treating his own penis with a high-quality tea tree oil moisturizer to protect it from chapping in the dry mountain air. “The insight I’ve gained from looking at that man’s penis is immeasurable. It’s just one hell of a penis.”

This year’s event was marred briefly when resort security reportedly had to chase Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and presumptive Speaker of the House John Boehner away from an open window where they were desperately trying to catch a glimpse of the influential penises. However, the unpleasantness was quickly forgotten when, to the awe and delight of all present, billionaire media juggernaut Oprah Winfrey arrived to make the rounds.

Middle Easterners don’t respect human life the way we do

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Probably there’s no other conclusion to reach:  Middle Easterners don’t like other people as much as we do.

  • You’ve got all those wossname, Kurds having whatever is happening to them, or doing something to someone else.
  • You’ve got Israel doing a slick ethnic cleansing and land-grabbing against their cousins in neighboring Palestine.
  • You’ve got Sufis killing someone somewhere, Sunnis killing other people somewhere else, and you’ve got Shiites squeezing into the act killing someone else, possibly Sufis or Sunnis.
  • And now you’ve got women in Syria being stoned [with rocks, not marijuana] for adultery.
  • You’ve got the lot of them sneaking around killing, discriminating, not liking Christians when they aren’t killing someone else.

But of course those people don’t believe in the Bible.  They never learned to stay home and peacefully mind their own business, relax about human diversity, and forgive others for being different from themselves.  They never learned not to get too worked up about having a lot of extra possessions, big houses, gewgaws, cars and cosmetic surgery.

And guns.  They have too many guns.  Where the hell do they get all those guns?  Those people in the Middle East have more guns and rockets than we have IPODs and SUVs.  Especially the ones who are trying to be like us.

In countries over there where they’re not all Mexicans the white people try hard to be like us.  Israel is a good example.  But although they’re simple, God fearing folks, they aren’t Christians.  They don’t believe in the Bible.  So they can’t understand they need to quit slaughtering their neighbors and stealing their land.  They’d like to be like real white people, but they can’t get it right.  And that’s just Israel.  A few miles in any direction the places are full of Mexicans who aren’t even trying to be like white people.

Old Jules

They’re accusing him of plagiarizing from Martin Luther King’s doctoral dissertation

Hi readers.   Thanks for coming by for a read.

The plot thickens on the politician wannabe in Montana who coincidently used identical words, sentences, paragraphs and phrases that had been used before.  The paper, The Case for Democracy as a National Strategy, was also similar in content to  approximately one point seven million [1,700,000] papers written by high school seniors during the past seventy years.  As well as 90 million [90,000,000] papers written by university freshmen for Government 101 and Political Science 101 courses.

Back when Martin Luther King was a young man doing his doctoral dissertation he encountered approximately the same phenomenon, though nobody much remembers it nowadays.  King’s dissertation was found to contain huge amounts of text previously written verbatim in dissertations earlier by doctoral candidates.  And like the guy from Montana, King didn’t want to bog himself down by identifying in footnotes all the people who coincidently had been inspired to the same choice of words and thoughts as his own.

By the time the anomaly was discovered in the academic community Dr. King was a big item on the Civil Rights scene in the US [probably which is the reason it was discovered at all].  And academic reviewers were forced to conclude coincidences happen.  Huge, 30-40% or more of the document verbatim coincidences.

Well, I don’t know what the Montana guy thinks about Civil Rights.  And I honestly am appalled the Army War College is accepting papers from anyone on the subject of,  The Case for Democracy as a National Strategy.  In this instance the similar verbage found itself dually existing in the Montana guy’s paper, and a paper put together by some national think-tank foundation a few years earlier.  Probably the Montanan believed nobody anywhere would have read it, and in a better world, he’d have been right in thinking so.

Maybe he just got caught up in some statistical thing being done by institutions of higher learning, scanning the web to discover how many doctoral dissertations across the country were composed of identical text from that particular document without being cited.  And once they discovered a few thousand masters theses and doctoral dissertations were founded on identical text not cited from the think-tank, they concluded someone had to be made an example of.

Someone safe, not from a top-drawer university, someone white from someplace where people go to South Dakota wintertimes for the warmer weather.  The Army War College and Montana seemed right.  And after all, this guy already had a claim to victimhood with his post-traumatic-stress-syndrome.

They threw the word ‘honor’ in there somewhere, but the whole issue of honor went away a longish time ago around the time Martin Luther King was doing his doctoral dissertation.  Honor’s just something high-ranking soldiers use to justify following orders to bomb civilian populations and whatnot.  A thing of the past.

Old Jules

All these free kids flooding into the country and they want to send them BACK?

Sheeze readers, can you believe this?  Hundreds, maybe thousands of kids at loose-ends coming across our border.  Nobody for us to answer to, no matter what we do to them.  And whatever it is beats starving to death in some pesthole where they don’t even speak English.

Heck, we could send them to butler and house-keeper schools so’s when they grow up they’d have rent-free jobs they can’t quit in the homes of rich people.  Make slaves of them.  Hell nobody would notice or care.  Auction them off to Oriental pedophiles to pay the National Debt.

These kids are the future and we’re squandering it, haggling over how long it should take to send them back.  Sending them back is crazy.  Nobody has ever been more helpless than them.  We can do anything to them that makes us feel good.  Put them to work doing phone sales, teach them martial arts and how to shoot and give them to important people for a lifetime of free bodyguarding.

Hang signs over their shoulders advertising pizza joints or wearing statue of liberty suits waving people into tax joints.  Free.  Everyone could have one to wash the laundry, cook and do the dishes.  Curl up under the kitchen table when the work was all done.

Mostly these days a lot of people can afford to hire someone for menial tasks, but they still have to get up to get beers or change the batteries on the TV remotes.  Still have to carry out the trash.  Life still sucks for them.

And as always, God heard their pleas.  Sent all those starving, displaced kids up from Godawful places south of Mexico.

God has always taken a favorable view to slavery.  Time was He demanded His Chosen People of the time make slaves of all the neighbors they couldn’t kill.  And now we are his Chosen People.  He’s offering a free gift of thousands of slaves for us to do anything with we want to.  And they can’t do anything back.

Hell, they’d probably thank us.

Send them back?  What the hell is wrong with those people in Washington?  Right now they’re having to PAY illegal aliens to mow the grass.  If they relax they can have one for a slave and use him/her for a sex toy when all the work’s done.

And they’re helpless to keep it from happening.  Perfecto!  If we’re going to be God’s Chosen People we’re going to have to start acting the way God’s Chosen People acted when they were still getting their instructions.  And the way the ones who think they are, but aren’t anymore, are still behaving, though they’ve toned it down some.

But they don’t have any starving, helpless kids flooding across the border begging to be exploited seven ways from Sunday upside down and backward.  God’s pretty much cut them off for the last couple of thousand years.

Old Jules

In case you missed how we became God’s Chosen People and posts in that vein:

Missing women and sex selective abortion

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by.

As a person who never had an abortion and never intend to have one I’m either not qualified to have an opinion about anything related to the subject, or, I’m uniquely qualified by virtue of being potentially unbiased.  And because of my ambiguous position on the matter I was unaware of a battle raging worldwide over the concepts of ‘femicide’, ‘gendercide’, and ‘missing women’ with emphasis on abortion as a contributing factor.

 Sex-selective abortion in the context of abortion[edit]

MacPherson estimates that 100,000 sex-selective abortions every year continue to be performed in India.[79] For a contrasting perspective, in the United States with a population 14th of India, over 1.2 million abortions every year were performed between 1990-2007.[113] In England and Wales with a population 120th of India, over 189,000 abortions were performed in 2011, or a yearly rate of 17.5 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15–44.[114] The average for the European Union was 30 abortions per year per 1,000 women.[115]

Many scholars have noted the difficulty in reconciling the discriminatory nature of sex-selective abortion with the right of women to have control over their own bodies. This conflict manifests itself primarily when discussing laws about sex-selective abortion. Weiss (1995:205) writes: “The most obvious challenge sex-selective abortion represents for pro-choice feminists is the difficulty of reconciling a pro-choice position with moral objections one might have to sex selective abortion (especially since it has been used primarily on female fetuses), much less the advocacy of a law banning sex-selective abortion.”[116] As a result, arguments both for and against sex-selective abortion are typically highly reflective of one’s own personal beliefs about abortion in general. Warren (1985:104) argues that there is a difference between acting within one’s rights and acting upon the most morally sound choice, implying that sex-selective abortion might be within rights but not morally sound. Warren also notes that, if we are to ever reverse the trend of sex-selective abortion and high sex ratios, we must work to change the patriarchy-based society which breeds the strong son preference.[117]   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-selective_abortion

 And thus arises the concept of [statistical] ‘missing women':

 

Estimates of missing women[edit]

Estimates of implied missing girls, considering the “normal” birth sex ratio to be the 103–107 range, vary considerably between researchers and underlying assumptions for expected post-birth mortality rates for men and women. For example, a 2005 study estimated that over 90 million females were “missing” from the expected population in Afghanistan, Bangladesh, China, India, Pakistan, South Korea and Taiwan alone, and suggested that sex-selective abortion plays a role in this deficit.[2][90] For early 1990s, Sen estimated 107 million missing women, Coale estimated 60 million as missing, while Klasen estimated 89 million missing women in China, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, West Asia and Egypt.[16] Guilmoto,[12] in his 2010 report, uses recent data (except for Pakistan), and estimates a much lower number of missing girls, but notes that the higher sex ratios in numerous countries have created a gender gap – shortage of girls – in the 0–19 age group.

Country Gender gap
0-19 age group (2010)[12]
 % of minor
females[12]
Region Majority Religion
Afghanistan 265,000 3.0 South Asia Islam
Albania 21,000 4.2 Southeast Europe Islam
Armenia 35,000 8.4 Caucasus Christianity
Azerbaijan 111,000 8.3 Caucasus Islam
Bangladesh 416,000 1.4 South Asia Islam
China 25,112,000 15.0 East Asia  
Georgia 24,000 4.6 Caucasus Christianity
India 12,618,000 5.3 South Asia Hindu
Montenegro 3,000 3.6 Southeast Europe Christianity
Nepal 125,000 1.8 South Asia Hindu
Pakistan 206,000 0.5 South Asia Islam
South Korea 336,000 6.2 East Asia  
Singapore 21,000 3.5 Southeast Asia Buddhist
Viet Nam 139,000 1.0 Southeast Asia Buddhist

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-selective_abortion

 All of which brings up some arresting questions.  Such as, is it possible to commit a gender-crime against a statistical human being that was legally erased as a fetus [whether it was aborted because of gender, or simply because it represented an inconvenience for the mother]?  Outside the context of statistics how can a parent who knows the sex of the fetus and chooses to abort be accused of doing it for the wrong reasons?  And what use is a law forbidding abortion for reasons that can only be known by the person making the decision to abort.

 Maybe I’m wrong, but my understanding is that inside the US a fetus does not become ‘human’, a person with legal rights, until it exits the body of the mother.  It doesn’t even have the rights of a corporation, which, as it happens, is human.

So how the hell can legions of non-human fetuses result in legions of ‘missing women’ after they reach statistical adulthood?

I’ll confess the whole damned thing is too much for my aging comprehension.

Makes me glad I never had an abortion, considering how I might be haunted by legions of missing ghost adults swarming around making statistical nuisances of themselves.

Old Jules

 

Library Mail Art – Received June 8th- June 14th

Old Jules:

The latest on Jeanne’s library mail art project:

Originally posted on Library Mail Art 2014:

Another great week for mail here at Lackman Library!

“Moment Book” a pencil drawing by Jaromir Svozilik from Oslo, Norway:

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From Andre Pace in Phoenix, Arizona, a letter, a card about his book and two more cards with poetry on the backs!

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From Peter Mueller in Bremen, Germany, an entire book with a stamped image on every page:

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From Dorian Ribas Marinho in Brazil, three signed prints:

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And a card and decorated envelope from Eni Ilis, also in Brazil:

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We’re so pleased and excited about these submissions! I also made three that I will contribute myself, so here they are. The first one is from a sewing pattern, an old Classics Illustrated comic, and a children’s dictionary:
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This second one is a collage I did from a summer reading program log that my mother kept for me in 1963 for the Johnson County Library. In those days, Lackman library didn’t yet…

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Ferry tales

All but two of these guys were 2 year draftees or single enlistment 3 year recruits.  Those would have all come home before the end of 1964, ETS [expiration term of service].  Just in time to miss the Vietnam debacle.  Those returning to the US for reassignment went to 11th Air Assault Group, Fort Gordon, GA, training to jump out of helicopters.  Then the Army moved the 1st Cavalry Division to Vietnam, dissolved the 11th Air Assault Group, and sent everyone in it to Vietnam.  I'm betting these guys had better sense than to reinlist.

All but two of these guys were 2 year draftees or single enlistment 3 year recruits. Those would have all come home before the end of 1964, ETS [expiration term of service]. Just in time to miss the Vietnam debacle. Those returning to the US for reassignment went to 11th Air Assault Group, Fort Gordon, GA, training to jump out of helicopters. Then the Army moved the 1st Cavalry Division to Vietnam, dissolved the 11th Air Assault Group, and sent everyone in it to Vietnam. I’m betting these guys had better sense than to reenlist.

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Camp Howze, Korea, 1963, 1964.  I was standing in a chow line almost certainly with one of the guys in this picture waiting for breakfast.  A twelve-year-old Korean lad came down the line selling Stars and Stripes newspapers, yelling, “Lots of Japs killed!  Hurrah!  Lots of Japs killed!

Koreans still savored a deep hatred for Japanese in those days.  Having your mamas and grandmamas raped more-or-less whenever the mood hit for a few decades probably does that.  At least when the rapers are of a particular nationality.  [I've wondered whether East Germans don't feel some of that toward the Rooskies because of their grannies during the retreat from the Eastern Front].

Anyway, it was a ferry disaster of some sort carrying Japanese passengers.  The first time I recall ever paying any mind to ferries and the associated dangers.

But over the decades I’ve certainly heard about a lot of them.  I suspect a risk assessment involving frequent use of ferries would reveal it to be more dangerous than airliners, trains or busses.  Not to say I haven’t ridden on a lot of them.

But on a ferry going between [I think] Newport News, RI, and Long Island, a nuclear attack submarine surfaced next to our ferry almost close enough to touch.  We assumed at the time the submarine commander was perfectly aware of the ferry.  By hindsight, though, I’m brought to wonder whether he had to go change his shorts when our presence and proximity came to his attention.

A person used to be able to pay once to get on the Statin Island Ferry and ride it back and forth all night, which I did a good many times.  Near misses with smaller craft were relatively common and a source of amusement for the ferry passengers.

I was on a ferry to one of the outer banks islands of Georgia, or North Carolina once when it hit something hard enough to jangle the eye-teeth of everyone aboard.  Never heard what it was, but none of the passengers were laughing.

Which is to say, life’s full of surprises and ferries have the potential for providing new ones.

I don’t recall when I began carrying a couple of hundred feet of small diameter 200 pound test rope with me in my luggage when I travelled.  But I do recall it was a decision I made watching people diving out of the windows of burning multi-story buildings on the news.  A bit of rope, I observed, would have saved a lot of them by allowing them to get off the upper floors and beneath the fires.

If I had to ride a ferry every day I’d probably decide an inflatable camp pillow would provide a nice place to sit on those hard ferry benches.  One person aboard protected by one inflatable pillow would remove the temptation those vessels wave around in front of the Coincidence Coordinators inviting disaster.

Old Jules

 

 

The White Man’s Burden: Sharing US Culture

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Hell they just want to be like us.  You can’t blame them.  Who in the world doesn’t want a piece of the best sociology, culture, society, music, attitude, behavior, the US has to offer.  The centerpiece for the cultural best has to be exported for the advancement of humanity.

But there’s not room for two.

People in conquered lands always want to imitate the conquerers.  That’s why British all try so hard to behave as though they’re Normans.  And [East] Indians try so hard to be good Christians.

Same as the whatchallem, Native Americans who aren’t whites, Mexicans, Blacks, Asians, and such.  Aboriginals, they’ll likely want to be called sometime. Tribal Americans, some other time.

The Rooskies have always been good at gangsta, but they always felt something was missing over there in the KGB, GRU, and up in the Gulag.

We haven’t gotten around to conquering Pakistan yet, but maybe dropping a few cruise missiles and drones down their smokestacks was enough.  Bound to be an explanation and drones might be it.

Africans adapt surprisingly well to modern US culture.

New York Jewish gangsta rap would be difficult to top by Israeli gangsta rap I’m betting.

Australian aboriginals get into the swing about as well as a person can wish.  Hard to find fault with that.

All in all I’d say this fits the 21st Century better than Christianity fit the earlier ones.

Old Jules

 

Garmin Land of Oz Marathoneers terrorizing innocent cats

Tail-end Charlies.  Some of these folks were costumed as tin men, lions, witches etc.  These were the fun runners only  in for 3 and 6 k.

Tail-end Charlies. Some of these folks were costumed as tin men, lions, witches etc. These were the fun runners only in for 3 and 6 k.

Hi readers.

Hydrox bolted through the door and hid under a cabinet, should have tipped me something innocent was happening.  Instead I figured the cops had me surrounded, scrambled around trying to remember where I could find a firearm, shoot it out with them.  All my life I’ve wanted to yell, “Come and and get me, coppers!” and a second glance at Hydrox told me the great day had arrived.

Bastards.  Turned out it was the Garmin Marathon, Half-Marathon and 6 K running events coming down Loula Street holding up traffic, upsetting dogs and terrorizing innocent cats.  Garmin.  The people who’ve completely screwed up the minds of 21st Century humanity by allowing the citizenry to find its way home whether they deserved to or not.  Without regard for whether home wanted them back.

Young zoned-out minds trapped inside cell phones, unable to read maps and confused by  the words, north, south, east and west, being led around by a sexy female voice telling them to turn right at their own driveways.

Garmin.  Land of Oz Marathon.  An apology to evolution.

Old Jules