Category Archives: Military

Richard Nixon: “That is no longer operative.” Current White House Guy: “Gimme a high five, baby.”

Hi readers.

Do you have difficulties keeping track of all that crap going on in the pestholes of the world?  I’m not talking about France here.  I’m talking about places where we’ve either invaded them and given them their freedom [Actually I suppose France meets that description, along with everyone else involved in WWII except Russia] eh.  Well, hell.

Let me start over.  I don’t understand what the hell is going on in the Ukraine, Turkey, Syria, Iraq, Russia, or even the Pacific Ocean downstream from Fukushima Northern Hemisphere Distributor of Deadly Radiation.  I don’t understand why they keep beating the trumpet claiming Ebola’s going to kill us all.  I don’t understand why people keep claiming they don’t understand that Israel’s gradually absorbing their neighboring country before the eyes of the world and killing off the residents there indiscriminately.

It’s consoling to me to figure the guy in the White House doesn’t understand any of that either.

Nothing new there.  Back when Ronald Reagan was dealing with Iran during the Jimmy Carter presidency, telling them he’d trade them weaponry if they’d hold onto the hostages until after the election, Reagan didn’t understand it all, either.  I doubt he ever understood he’d been whipsawed by a bunch of smartypantses, one in particular, wearing a Marine Lt. Colonel insignia and a pretty face.  I think Iran/Contra took him by surprise.

Yeah, Colonel John Wayne North helped weave that web.  Along with a number of familiar faces later on during the Bush Senior presidency, engineering Desert Storm.  Maybe Bush Senior understood it all.

But nobody has since then, among the distant observers, nor among the people who think they’re making it all happen.

Be consoled, readers.  Nobody even remembers the assassination of President Diem, the Gulf of Tonkin and how that blew up into the biggest US military debacle in US history.  Nobody even remembered it a couple of years into the war.

For that matter, nobody remembers the invasion of Panama, the Iran Hostages and the cute piece of horse trading Reagan lackeys used to keep those hostages in prison until after the election in exchange for weaponry.  Nobody even remembers the Bay of Pigs.  Or the devil-take-the-hindmost last minute graveyards voting in South Texas that won the election for John Kennedy.

So if you don’t understand what the hell we’re doing talking about military involvement in the vicinity of Russia and the Ukraine, don’t worry.  A year from now you won’t remember it anyway.  Same with Syria, Iran, everywhere else it’s more comfortable for the government if you forget.

You’ll remember North Korea.  Be consoled.  And you’ll remember that someone in Palestine shot the finger at an Israeli and caused them to have to carpet bomb some town or city full of unarmed civilians to get at suspected terrorists.

Be consoled though.  The guy in the White House won’t remember it, either.

Old Jules

Forcing 18 year old women to sign up for Selective Service [Draft]

Hi readers.  I know it makes women feel more equal and better about themselves, but I’m wondering whether this Executive Order extending Selective Service registration to females is a good thing.  Might be a sign of bad things coming down the pike, or they mightn’t do something to remind everyone there’s always a Draft Law hiding in the wings to snap up youngsters once the all-voluntary military folks have all sold themselves to Blackwater and other Mercenary groups for more money.

Is it not written, “For God, country and my babeeee”?

Are we going to give all that up, all it implies, all every adolescent could hope to believe, just to make girls feel more equal?  Give them the right to get conscripted into the military for a couple of years no matter what they’d rather be doing?  Give them a lead-pipe cinch to be raped half-to-death if they’re captured?

Well, I hadn’t really thought about it that way.  Now that I do, I guess it’s actually a good thing, though still probably a dose of bad news in what it implies.

Old Jules

The Who-Ya-Gonna-Kill-Next Lottery tickets on sale at your Army Recruiter

Hi readers.  Back in the summer of 1961 the Rooskies were building the Berlin Wall and naturally we were all scared shitless they’d be wanting France or Britain next.  Because we were all dumber than cluckshit and we believed what the US government told us.

Anyway, July 1961, I was feeling patriotic as hell, wanted to kill me some young Russian guys.  Maybe shoot them, blow their damned brains from hell to breakfast.  Or maybe stab them with a bayonet close up, personal and bloody.  So I joined the US Army figuring they were the only branch of the service that actually rubbed up against Rooskies.

Damned Navy guys just floated around safely out in the ocean in ships loaded up with guns and munitions, never get a shot at a single Rooskie, most likely.  And the Air Force guys trained with .22 caliber rifles.  Jeeze.  Whoooo wants to shoot a damned Russian kid with a .22?  Stupid damned Air Force guys didn’t even march around carrying full field packs.

And the US Marines sounded okay, but how the hell would a Marine get all the way over to where there were Rooskies to be killed?  Ivan was going to be trying to hide behind that Berlin Wall.  Getting at him would be a job for good old American dogfaces, climbing over that wall and charging into machine guns aimed by Rooskie kids.  The best a Marine could hope for was maybe getting a chance to kill a Chinaman.

Whell hayuls bayuls!  I spent three years, went through the Cuban Missile Crisis, sea cruised to Japan and Korea and back, and never got to kill nobody, and especially not some Rooskie teenager with a bayonet nor hand grenade.

So I came home and the Vietnam War geared up, and I got out.  The guys who went in just after I did ended up killing all manner of brown people who didn’t need killing, but no damned Rooskies.  Nor Chinamen, either.

Later on guys volunteered to go kill brown people in wossname, Kuwait, Iraq, and that other place over there, Africanistan?  Something along those lines, anyway.  But the Rooskies had donealready pulled all their teenagers back inside their boundaries and good American boys couldn’t get at them.

But there’s still hope.  Some damned warlord over there is making a nuisance of himself and threatening to send some teenagers off to get their asses blown away, and the guy, wossname, in the White House is making noises suggesting he might lie claiming those Rooskie kids need killing.

He ought to have a belly full of killing brown people by now.  Rooskie white kids would be a refreshing change.  And meanwhile there’s that hodgepodge thing going on over in Western Iraq and Syria where the sky’s the limit.  Hells bells, just kill anythng that moves and you’ll hit someone who hates our guts.  Because we’ve probably blown the legs off their relatives one-time-or-another.

As a backup plan, if our boys run out of people to drop explosives on, there’s always white people living in Israel, but they’re harder targets, hiding in colonies over in Palestine.
Old Jules

 

 

 

The dual-citizenship US/Israeli friend to So Far From Heaven

Perhaps you readers will find this anecdote interesting and edifying.  I certainly do.

So Far From Heaven blog has a reader and sometimes commenter who holds dual US/Israeli citizenship.  Not to suggest it’s unusual.  I might be the only US citizen alive who doesn’t hold dual Israeli citizenship.

But this So Far From Heaven reader is special.  Back during the Vietnam War, maybe 1966-67, he adopted Judaism and fled to Israel to avoid the draft.  Became a weaponry salesman for Israel, maybe to Israel, probably helping them furnish weapons for every drug lord in South America.

And a thoroughly interesting, admirably loyal [to Israel] US citizen. http://leanpower.wordpress.com/

Yeah, this guy was a sight to behold back in the day.  Running along the railroad tracks with a backpack full of rocks in training for the Israeli army when he arrived in Israel sometime hence.  He knew if he became an Israeli he’d have to be in the military, but Israel never loses anyone in their wars.

Tens of thousands of casualties in the armed forces the Israeli military attacks by surprise and defeats.  A few hundred Israeli casualties.  Fell off trucks or something, most likely, or accidentally shot themselves.

Look up the statistics on every Israel war if you don’t believe me.  Any one.  Take your pick.  Look at the Israeli casualty counts, and the body counts of the countries they attacked.  Including the USS Liberty.  No Israeli casualties on that surprise attack on a US warship lasting several hours.  Not one.

Obviously our Israeli/US citizen reader/draft-dodger knew that.  He picked a winner for a country he could ‘serve’ in complete safety.  And when it was all over he came back to the Good Old US of A to buy and sell big guns.

They’re everywhere.  Even here on So Far From Heaven.

Old Jules

They’re accusing him of plagiarizing from Martin Luther King’s doctoral dissertation

Hi readers.   Thanks for coming by for a read.

The plot thickens on the politician wannabe in Montana who coincidently used identical words, sentences, paragraphs and phrases that had been used before.  The paper, The Case for Democracy as a National Strategy, was also similar in content to  approximately one point seven million [1,700,000] papers written by high school seniors during the past seventy years.  As well as 90 million [90,000,000] papers written by university freshmen for Government 101 and Political Science 101 courses.

Back when Martin Luther King was a young man doing his doctoral dissertation he encountered approximately the same phenomenon, though nobody much remembers it nowadays.  King’s dissertation was found to contain huge amounts of text previously written verbatim in dissertations earlier by doctoral candidates.  And like the guy from Montana, King didn’t want to bog himself down by identifying in footnotes all the people who coincidently had been inspired to the same choice of words and thoughts as his own.

By the time the anomaly was discovered in the academic community Dr. King was a big item on the Civil Rights scene in the US [probably which is the reason it was discovered at all].  And academic reviewers were forced to conclude coincidences happen.  Huge, 30-40% or more of the document verbatim coincidences.

Well, I don’t know what the Montana guy thinks about Civil Rights.  And I honestly am appalled the Army War College is accepting papers from anyone on the subject of,  The Case for Democracy as a National Strategy.  In this instance the similar verbage found itself dually existing in the Montana guy’s paper, and a paper put together by some national think-tank foundation a few years earlier.  Probably the Montanan believed nobody anywhere would have read it, and in a better world, he’d have been right in thinking so.

Maybe he just got caught up in some statistical thing being done by institutions of higher learning, scanning the web to discover how many doctoral dissertations across the country were composed of identical text from that particular document without being cited.  And once they discovered a few thousand masters theses and doctoral dissertations were founded on identical text not cited from the think-tank, they concluded someone had to be made an example of.

Someone safe, not from a top-drawer university, someone white from someplace where people go to South Dakota wintertimes for the warmer weather.  The Army War College and Montana seemed right.  And after all, this guy already had a claim to victimhood with his post-traumatic-stress-syndrome.

They threw the word ‘honor’ in there somewhere, but the whole issue of honor went away a longish time ago around the time Martin Luther King was doing his doctoral dissertation.  Honor’s just something high-ranking soldiers use to justify following orders to bomb civilian populations and whatnot.  A thing of the past.

Old Jules

Some Dick in Montana couldn’t think of anything original to say about war.

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.  Let’s face it.  I’ll say with complete candor that the Army War College has been pestering the hell out of me for a long time to write something original for them so’s to get all this losing wars all the time fixed.  Naturally I’d like to do it, but every time I write a page I discover Robert Lee, Ulysses S. Grant, George Patton or come Chinaman or German already said it.  It’s lucky I’ve read so much of what they all wrote, or I might have fired off my own original words to the War College only to find out afterward I was saying what Dwight David Eisenhower donealready said already without citing my source.

So this dick running for the US Senate in Montana turned in his work at the Army War College and whooooooops!  Surprise!  Someone else donealready said it.  And Montana residents, almost all of whom have never had an original thought during the entire span of their lives, are pissed.

Montana veterans, especially.  Whatever the hell veterans think they might know about originality, war, or much anything else that someone [they can't even remember who] didn’t tell them or they read somewhere questionable.  They’d need to punctuate every sentence, every piece of every sentence with [I heard that from Charlie down at the sewer plant, or my 3rd grade teacher told me].

Hell the guy is a dick, same as everyone else in Montana and any reason for keeping him away from Washington is probably a good one.  But let’s not be hypocrites about it.  Just accept that nobody ought to be in Washington and set about making sure nobody goes there.

Let’s not obscure something that makes excellent sense with a lot of BS about citing sources and pretending someone alive today has original thoughts he could say and the rest of us could cite him.  Every damned opinion any of us have were tucked into our heads by Rush Goddamned Limbo, the Holy Bible, some magazine or book we read, or just crawled in waiting around the coffee machine and infected the minds of the entire workplace.

Army War College needs to quit making unreasonable demands on our service men who can’t be expected to know a damned thing or they wouldn’t have volunteered in the first place.  And where do they get off with expecting original thoughts.  The first thing a drill sergeant tells newcomers into the military is, YOU ARE NOT HERE TO THINK!  YOU ARE HERE TO FOLLOW ORDERS.

Which is good, because there’s an immeasurably better chance they’ll be able to follow orders than that they’ll screw up and think something.

Old Jules

“Barbie Goes Native” sparks reevaluation of US Military posture

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

The 1970s, pre-US military adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan movie, Caravans, has come to the attention of US military planners.  Careful study of the overwhelming success beautiful actress, Jennifer Oneal, had influencing primitive tribesmen to behave themselves suggests new avenues of approach to US militarism.

Caravans 1978PG 125 minutes, An American diplomat is tasked with retrieving a famous politician’s daughter, who is married to an Iranian colonel but has run off with a rebel leader. More Info Starring: Anthony Quinn, Michael Sarrazin Director: James Fargo
 
During past military adventures,” White House spokesmen declared, “The US had never put women into combat-like roles.  It was believed doing so would undermine the claims that wars were motivated by the need to protect moms, wives, sisters and potential girl friends from the evil forces of the enemy.”
 
But, he explained, today women occupy active roles in a wide range of combat positions and while the Draft statutes have not yet been amended to include women, modern warfare justifies doing so.
 
“Jennifer Oneal was married nine times during her years as an actress.  In Caravans she enjoyed huge influence among primitive Moslems.  Today a few women of the Jennifer Oneal variety might replace the entire US military presence in Afghaistan. 
 
“Female porn stars could probably serve the same real-life function today as Jennifer Oneal with her stunning blue eyes, blonde hair, and nine husbands did back in the 1970s, and the cost would not be prohibitive.
 
“Changing the outdated US conscription statutes to include beautiful females, particularly porn stars, might well be the key to shrinking US military involvement, in most foreign countries. “
 
A major general  in the Pentagon who wished to remain anonymous agrees.   “War has simply become too costly to allow it to be pursued by traditional means.  Drafting female porn stars to replace both male and females in combat, secretarial, and other position would greatly reduce costs and boost morale.”
 
Jennifer Oneal’s performance in Caravans was not considered particularly impressive when the movie arrived in theaters of the 1970s.  It was not nominated for Academy, nor any other awards. 
 
But history has proved them wrong. 
 
The NSA is now monitoring all online pornography sites with a view to voluntary recruitment pending the needed reevaluation of US Draft Law to determine whether it can be interpreted to allow conscription of beautiful females.
 
Old Jules