The Sounds a Man Wants to Hear During Sex

Someone found this blog by search engine yesterday with the question, “What kind of words does a man want to hear during sex?”

I don’t believe I’ve elaborated on the issue on the blog because I don’t have a lot of sex going on around here.  The cats are all neutered, the Great Speckled Bird is getting a bit long-in-the-tooth with the crippled up wing and leg causing the hens to threaten break-ins to the pen where the younger roosters abide.

So all I can figure is the person wasn’t thinking in terms of me, or the chickens or cats.  The person had to be thinking more along the lines of a generic man.  A brave new world post-Y2K feller.

I don’t want anyone going away from this blog with questions unanswered and 21st Century puzzlement inhabiting his/her mind, so I’m going to answer on behalf of the generic man, the 21st Century man:

The sounds a 21st Century man wants to hear during sex are:  “I saw the prettiest dress at WalMart today, honey!  Are you nearly finished?  Is it okay if I eat that apple if you’re going to be at this a while?”  and the sound of an apple being eaten.

Don’t thank me.  This one’s gratis.

Old Jules

 

16 responses to “The Sounds a Man Wants to Hear During Sex

  1. Guess I’m not a modern man. The old school phrase of “Hurry up I have a headache.” is still fine with me.

  2. You are so right. It reminds me of home the way it was so many years ago!

  3. LOL…unless I have some wine beforehand…she wouldn’t have time to take a bite of the apple…LMAO

  4. I know what you DON’T want to hear. Snickering!!

  5. “Mommy…Chris threw up again.”

  6. Thag: Concentration’s the key. Jules

  7. To adapt a couple of old jokes, the phrases this long-married guy usually hears during sex are (1) “Well, Mom, I guess I ought to hang up now…” (2) “…carrots, potatoes, instant breakfast, salad stuff, pick up the laundry …” and (3) “We have got to fix up this wretched ceiling.”

  8. “My God, Cletis, and I thought your stunning intelligence was impressive.” Heh Heh Heh

  9. Pingback: Old Jules: A Lone Star State treasure « The Cotton Boll Conspiracy

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