Hydrox bolted through the door and hid under a cabinet, should have tipped me something innocent was happening. Instead I figured the cops had me surrounded, scrambled around trying to remember where I could find a firearm, shoot it out with them. All my life I’ve wanted to yell, “Come and and get me, coppers!” and a second glance at Hydrox told me the great day had arrived.
Bastards. Turned out it was the Garmin Marathon, Half-Marathon and 6 K running events coming down Loula Street holding up traffic, upsetting dogs and terrorizing innocent cats. Garmin. The people who’ve completely screwed up the minds of 21st Century humanity by allowing the citizenry to find its way home whether they deserved to or not. Without regard for whether home wanted them back.
Young zoned-out minds trapped inside cell phones, unable to read maps and confused by the words, north, south, east and west, being led around by a sexy female voice telling them to turn right at their own driveways.
Garmin. Land of Oz Marathon. An apology to evolution.