Tag Archives: pentagon

Pentagon has an itchy trigger finger

Hi readers.  This lull between wars is always hard on the Pentagoners.  They don’t know what to do with themselves and are forced to sit around twiddling their thumbs and chewing their fingernails worrying about the security of the US.  If all those damned troops can’t find something to do against someone brown, or at least someone who can’t speak good English things could get dangerous.  They might have to be brought home, for Christ’s sake!

Those guys have proved time and again they can shoot a gnat off the nose of a housefly at 2000 yards!  We sure as hell don’t need them hanging around any water towers or rooftops around here, trying to think of something to do to amused themselves.

Pentagoneers are actually beginning to regret the whole drone-technology thing.  sitting in a house trailer outside El Paso, Texas looking at a television screen and dropping an explosive on someone in Pakistan while he’s taking a leak can’t provide a lasting occupation.  Trailer trash playing computer war games don’t win medals, no matter how heroic they get dressed up.  Even the US public can’t get excited about them.

So the Pentagoneers are throwing out as many options as they can think of for wossname, the guy in the What House, to consider.  People the US could go to war with and have a faint chance of winning.

But it’s not convincing.  August reminded everyone the US hasn’t won a war since the Japanese surrendered in 1945.  And a considerably doubt exists involving the concept of ‘win’ as it pertains to WWII and the US-plus-Japan-plus-Germany.  The unanointed couldn’t look at any of the ‘losers’ of WWII a decade after the war and see where ‘losing’ was different from a short term setback on the way to long-term winning.

Anyway, the Pentagoneers think maybe we could win a war over in Iraq/Syria if we put our minds to it.  They’ve learned from Bush #1 and Desert Storm, and Bush #2 and WMD Iraqs, and this guy now and Africanistan.  They think the old WWIII approach might be good.

Some guy in the Pentagon has been digging through dusty old files and found some stockpiles of ICBMs we could start out dropping on the Rooskies, of course, as a startup exeercise.  Then afterward we could put a couple of armored divisions on the ground in Western Iraq.

Everyone misses the good old days of bringing freedom and prosperity to Iraq.  And the damned Rooskies  need to stay out of our business.

Old Jules