What is the United States, anyway? It’s a government that exists by virtue of an agreement between the various ‘states’. It’s the only thing keeping Hawaii, Guam and Samoa from going off on their own and bombing the bejesus out of Japan.
The US Government is the only thing keeping Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands from attacking Spain and taking away all its possessions.
And the US Government is the only thing keeping the secular state of Israel afloat year after year with its foreign aid.
I’m only pointing this out so you understand the gravity of the situation. When the US Government shuts down people all over the world will have to tend their own affairs, learn to get along with their neighbors or end up in endless wars the US isn’t even involved in.
So why, exactly, did the government shut down? We have to ask ourselves this. And the answer is obvious. The government shut down because not everyone was standing up for the National Anthem. Not everyone put their hands over their hearts to say the Pledge of Allegiance. And not everyone gazed at the US flag and gulped in veneration and awe.
So here we are living in the geography once occupied by the United States. What the hell should we do next?
I’m thinking if we’re going to start it all again, we need to begin with a new flag:
And a new National Anthem:
Never mind the Pledge of Allegiance. If you’ve got the money you can buy loyalty, votes, and every elected official.