Ask Old Jules: Why relationships work or don’t, Elders vs. new generation, Believing nonsense, Values to live by

Old Jules, why do some relationships work and last a long time, and others fail after just a short time?

Marriage is an agreement of a man and a woman to attempt to live together in harmony. It can work by accident, or it can work by explicit communications between the two parties involved. If each has explicitly defined what’s expected of the other and each has agreed to march to the drum of the expectations of the other in precise detail it can help. It can also help if each agrees to confine the expectations to those communicated and agreed to, as opposed to allowing them to take root and grow in the background without anything being communicated except through sulking, hand-wringing, tears, and
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!”
“No. I can tell something’s wrong. What is it?”
“Nothing.”

Old Jules, why don’t most elders accept that the new generation is a better engineered/evolved product than they are? Instead they want to prove to the young that they are the more intelligent.

I’m probably an elder. So far as I can tell there’s not much difference in the new generation and the previous two when they were the age of the one now.

The other two were abysmally stupid at that time of their lives, same as this one.

So probably the reason elders don’t accept what you say is they know better in ways you can’t even imagine:  the experience of been there, done that.

Old Jules, how do you get people to stop believing nonsense? Someone I know believes in something wrong, so how can I get them to see the truth?

First you have to get over the notion you’re able to recognize nonsense when you see it. A lot of people never manage it. After that you can try looking after your own affairs and quit worrying yourself about what other people believe.

Or maybe you can do both at the same time if you’re able to walk and chew gum simultaneously.

Old Jules, what is the most important value you have for you to live your life by?

Courage and loyalty. I know what I respect in a human being and I intend to respect myself. Every value I have comes out of that faucet.