Tag Archives: pornography

“Barbie Goes Native” sparks reevaluation of US Military posture

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

The 1970s, pre-US military adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan movie, Caravans, has come to the attention of US military planners.  Careful study of the overwhelming success beautiful actress, Jennifer Oneal, had influencing primitive tribesmen to behave themselves suggests new avenues of approach to US militarism.

Caravans 1978PG 125 minutes, An American diplomat is tasked with retrieving a famous politician’s daughter, who is married to an Iranian colonel but has run off with a rebel leader. More Info Starring: Anthony Quinn, Michael Sarrazin Director: James Fargo
 
During past military adventures,” White House spokesmen declared, “The US had never put women into combat-like roles.  It was believed doing so would undermine the claims that wars were motivated by the need to protect moms, wives, sisters and potential girl friends from the evil forces of the enemy.”
 
But, he explained, today women occupy active roles in a wide range of combat positions and while the Draft statutes have not yet been amended to include women, modern warfare justifies doing so.
 
“Jennifer Oneal was married nine times during her years as an actress.  In Caravans she enjoyed huge influence among primitive Moslems.  Today a few women of the Jennifer Oneal variety might replace the entire US military presence in Afghaistan. 
 
“Female porn stars could probably serve the same real-life function today as Jennifer Oneal with her stunning blue eyes, blonde hair, and nine husbands did back in the 1970s, and the cost would not be prohibitive.
 
“Changing the outdated US conscription statutes to include beautiful females, particularly porn stars, might well be the key to shrinking US military involvement, in most foreign countries. “
 
A major general  in the Pentagon who wished to remain anonymous agrees.   “War has simply become too costly to allow it to be pursued by traditional means.  Drafting female porn stars to replace both male and females in combat, secretarial, and other position would greatly reduce costs and boost morale.”
 
Jennifer Oneal’s performance in Caravans was not considered particularly impressive when the movie arrived in theaters of the 1970s.  It was not nominated for Academy, nor any other awards. 
 
But history has proved them wrong. 
 
The NSA is now monitoring all online pornography sites with a view to voluntary recruitment pending the needed reevaluation of US Draft Law to determine whether it can be interpreted to allow conscription of beautiful females.
 
Old Jules
 
 
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Trickle-down economics and pornography

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

When Ronald Reagan invented trickle-down economics and sold it to US lawmakers it sounded like one-heluva good idea to the people who know most about money by having a lot of it. The idea was that if people who have more than a million dollars didn’t pay as much in taxes the extra money they had would trickle down their legs and end up in the pockets of store clerks, hamburger flippers, ditch diggers, truck drivers, and guys who spend their days in slaughter-houses whacking hogs on the forehead with sledge-hammers to keep hams flowing into the grocery stores.

The problem was that all those rich people spent the extra money they got with tax breaks watching pornography. Vanessa Del Rio, Annette Haven, Lisa Deleeau and Marilyn Chambers did indeed find themselves plenty of work, though. Johnny Wad Holmes and Ron Jeremy got a fine boost from trickle-down economics.

But that was back before the Internet. Once Donald Trump, wossname, the Microsoft guy, and wossname #2, the AOL married to Jane Fonda guy, had worn themselves out watching porn they naturally just went back to trying to figure out how it could make them some more money. Probably a lot of that went into recruiting new porn stars and putting their work up where it could make them some more tax breaks.

Today there are a million porn sites on the Internet, I read somewhere. Which must mean there are what? 50? 60 million? people out there working to keep the porn industry going, moaning, grunting and sweating all day long taking advantage of trickle down economics.

In fact, I’m betting old Bill Clinton’s probably spending his idle days when Hillary’s busy checking out the economics of it. He was too young when the Kennedy’s were passing Marilyn Monroe around between them, but Vanessa Del Rio might still be alive.

Old Jules

The abomination of cross-species sex

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

The cats were a mite disturbed when they heard me talking on the phone to someone describing mule jacks and how human beings go about arranging mules.   A jackass has feelings

Hydrox:  That’s disgusting!  Don’t they have laws to keep people from doing those kinds of things?

Me:  Um.  No.

Niaid:  Yuk!  Tricking some poor donkey into screwing a horse?  And that isn’t against the law?

Me:  I don’t think you’re seeing the big picture here.  They want mules.  Not much use for a donkey, but mules can be handy.  They’re not doing it for fun, nor just as some kind of perverted turn-on.

Tabby:  Yeah, you SAY that.  But I’ll bet there are guys up in the hayloft watching and kicking off their jollies.  It doesn’t make sense any other way.

Me:  No no no.  You aren’t getting what I’m saying.  Those people aren’t interested in the erotic side of donkey/horse intercourse.  They’re after persuading the male donkey, the jackass, to get the lady horse pregnant.  Nobody’s filming it to put on a website for the gratification of deranged people.

Hydrox:  Do they do that with CATs?  Are people out there making cats think they’re dogs and making them YUK do THAT? [Shudder]

Me:  Hmmm. Well, probably if they are it’s only in the sanctity of a science lab somewhere.  No harm intended.  Just science guys scrambling things, throwing things into test tubes to see what happens.

Niaid:  That is absolutely incredible.  What is wrong with you humans?  Do you suppose the humane society people know that’s going on?

Me:  Maybe.  Some of them.  As a rule humane society people are fairly single minded, though.  Don’t pay a lot of attention to what’s going on around them if it doesn’t involve arguing over which way of killing things is best.

Hydrox:  I swear, every day I live I get a new surprise about human beings.  You creatures are so wrapped up in yourselves you can’t see your own noses.

Me:  Yeah, that’s mostly true I guess.  But at least it’s only human beings on the porn websites I’d imagine.  At least people aren’t getting their jollies off about the donkeys and mares.  And there IS a field called animal husbandry, so I suppose some decent people at least force the jackass to marry the mare to make it less objectionable.  Animal preachers to do weddings, perform marriages and whatnot.  Keep it from being so perverted.

Old Jules