A couple of years ago I came across a profoundly orange jumpsuit in a thrift-store clearance sale, which I picked off at a righteous price. It’s the sort worn by students of jailhouse academies in a lot of places, so the potential was great, both as work clothing and other possibilities that came to mind and brought a smile to my face as I paid for it.
Some times of the year I get considerable low-flying air traffic over the cabin, frequently helicopters. Scares the chickens and often has me out there craning my neck wondering what they’re up to. Sometimes they zigzag over the area, circle, generally just burn up fuel without it being obvious whether they’re taking pictures of my workings, satisfying curiosity, or something more sinister.
But that orange jump suit’s added a whole new side to things. Nowadays when the helicopters start flying over I stay inside until they go out of sight, slipping on the jump suit. Then, when I hear them coming back in this direction I head over to the other side of the meadow, staying just out of the trees until they’ve had a glimpse of me.
I fake panic, run into the trees and hide, peeking out at them, pretending to try to conceal myself better while they waste more fuel trying to see what I’m doing.
It’s quite a hoot, all in all, but I count myself lucky they don’t fly around doing that much mid-summer. I appreciate the exercise it gives me, 68 year old guy running around hiding from a helicopter, but I’m not sure my ticker would stand up to the wear and tear when it’s 100 degrees F outside.
I’ve always wondered whether the local law enforcement have gotten any calls asking whether there’s an escaped convict running around loose in the area.
Anyway, I figure it gives them a thrill, puts some adventure in their otherwise uneventful lives. Something to talk about over the radio besides all that ‘Roger that!’ stuff.
An elderly man without a lot of means has to do whatever he can to try to help other people along this lifetime, or he’s likely to be thought a waste and freeloader if he’s drawing a SS retirement pension.
Old Jules
The Kingston Trio – Everglades
http://youtu.be/w0TtIRpG-jE
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Tuesday, September 6 edit:
If you need a few more laughs I suggest the enlightened, well-thought-out viewpoint from the helicopter:
So Far From Heaven 
I trust it’s okay if I’m chuckling. About the “freeloading” on SS: It’s an interesting comment on the state of our collective thought when what was once considered just what people did, they retired and lived on SS, has become something in the negative zone. Even the word entitlement being bandied about has brought negative connotations.Of course, those in the upper levels of government know exactly what they’re doing when they use that word, trying to cow us into believing we are NOT entitled to it, or that it’s a gift from them, when we’ve paid into it for years. Kinda like how health Care reform became health Insurance reform mid conversation. Probably one of the healthiest things a person can do is collect their SS and get as far away from the system as possible.
anyhoo
Love the orange jumpsuit story and I hope it’s brought all involved some excitement. They’re probably trying to discover a cash crop growing on your old hippie property. Glad you can have some fun with them. How that jumpsuit got to the thrift store might be interesting….
Morning Teresa Evangeline: Thanks for stopping in this morning. I’d have to agree there’s a deliberate, conscious effort going on to put SS retirees into the ‘freeloader’ file folder and create a mindset that all the money paid in was just another form of taxes if it’s acknowledged at all. No way of predicting how it will all come out when the dust settles, but it’s definitely polarizing things because all sides involved believe they have the moral high ground and a financial interest in the outcome. Since the default and statutory position is still to pay out to SS retirees it requires some rhetorical trickery and revised file-foldering to justify changing it so’s to change the direction into one where it’s just money to be spent, same as any other taxes. The people intent on doing that went to the same high school as the ones who created 401K as a means of funneling money into savings sheltered from taxes while the bankers and stock exchange folk rubbed their hands together studying on how best to make it their own.
Yeah, I’ve wondered a lot what that jump suit was doing in the thrift store. Nobody on earth but me was going to buy it at any price. Gracias, J
Careful, Old Jules! Those guys in the choppers may think you’re a feral hog in disguise and start shooting. :>
Morning Fearguth. Thanks for stopping in. I can see how they might arrive at that conclusion. For a longish time I had to squint and study on them to make sure they weren’t feral hogs and start shooting. Gracias, J
Isn’t it amazing (not really) how the government can rationalize just about anything, especially when it comes to taking your hard earned money. As to the orange jump suit, I wonder if the thrift store knows where it came from.
Morning Momlady. Thanks for stopping in. Maybe it’s worth remembering the government is composed of a group of people who aren’t much different from any other group of people anywhere, capable of justifying anything that serves their interests. They’re us, just in a different compartment of interest-sets. At the moment the interest-set compartment they’re in has a maxed out credit card debt and they’re trying to figure out how they can squirm out of paying it without losing the house, the car and the television set to the repo men, and still keep on buying hoola hoops and walkmen.
The people working in the recieving end of thrift stores might know, but there’s not a lot of communication between them and the people out in the front part of the stores, usually. The jump suit might have come in a box of other stuff placed on the ramp and nobody knew who donated it. No way of guessing.
Gracias, J
I’m surprise they don’t shoot you down in the name of “homeland security” just in case.
Morning Old Fool: It’s crossed my mind they might. Every time it happens I wonder whether this time some trigger-happy man with a gun and an urge to shoot someone with it will flip a coin and see it turn up ‘heads’. Keeps my juices flowing.
But life’s a risky business and a person can’t go around letting what lunatics might do decide for him how he plays out his own, personal approaches to lunacy. I figure those choppers probably aren’t all coming from a single compartment of motivation. Some might be County Tax Assessment, some might be Fish and Game, some might be hog killers, some might be one or another branch of law enforcement, some maybe real estate folk or just rich people wanting to see how the other side lives.
Hope you’re doing well with all that rain. I’d guess you’ll be needing your mosquito net before you get over the hump with all that water. Gracias, J
I’d be afraid they would come down to eye and close.
Hi One Fly: Sometimes they do, though none have ever actually touched down. Tanks for stopping in. Gracias, J
Much thanks for the morning laughs. I’m just twisted enough to think that’s hilarious. If I tried to pull that stunt where I live I fear it would all end with some type of “Lock up your kids, there’s an illegal alien on the loose looking to decapitate someone” fabrication spreading like wildfire through the local media. And then the governor and McCain would get all hot and bothered. I shudder at the thought.
But it still sounds like a good time. Glad you’re out there having some fun with them! 🙂
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the gut-roll this morning…my Pirate husband now has a new wish on his wish list! Darn, you’re a funny guy! The only problem is: my devious mind didn’t need more fuel! LOL!!! Thanks again, Jules! Kitty & Pirate
Brenda Thanks for the visit. As far as I’m aware none of that has happened locally here, but I’m not much tuned in to what goes on. Glad you enjoyed the blog entry. Gracias, J
Kitty Grinolds-Cozart I appreciate you coming by. Thanks for joining the laughs. Gracias, J
ROFLMAO Great idea, Jules. Here’s a piece from my unknown history posts I had fun doing. http://thebookofcletis.blogspot.com/2011/02/tae-will-definitely-light-you-up_22.html
Morning Cletis. Thanks for coming by. Good story about Edison. Thanks for the link. J
Lol! That’s great. Definitely sounds like something I would do.
Hi Andrew: Thanks for the visit and the read. J
Love it.
Thanks. J
Love it! Thanks for the smile. Yotaki
Beautywalk: Thanks for the visit and comment. Gracias, J
Oh God – you are so funny – I loved this and wish I had the guts to something like it.
Hi Jo. Thanks for coming by and commenting. Gracias, Jules
Thank you for liking my pet post…Lol. Just started blogging. I think your story is hilarious and so wrong on so many levels and something that I can see me doing, definitely! I have two blogs now, blessedbklynite and bklynqueenuncut (wordpress.com on both). I tweeted your story out. Hope to stop by soon! 🙂
Hi blessedbklynite: Thanks for coming by. Glad you liked the escaped prisoner in the woods. Gracias, Jules
Great story man! Thanks for stopping by my site the other day. Come back and see me anytime!
trawlingforgators: Thanks for coming by and for the invite. I’ll certainly take you up on it. Gracias, Jules
I BET it put a smile on your face as you paid for it!!! What a wicked sense of humour you have 🙂 You made me picture your whole big property – sounds fantastic. Chickens ‘n all. Jules, you sound like a gorgeous 68 yo.
But you know, that photo you have – I don’t understand why they shackle the neck. It’s just not necessary. Sort of made me sad – it was overkill by authority.
Hi wordsfallfrommyeyes: Thanks for coming by for a read and for your comments. I honestly don’t know the answer to the remark about the neck shackles. Gracias, Jules
I like your sense of humor! I would be sorely tempted to do the same.
Thank you rumpydog and thanks for the visit. Gracias, Jules
Reading your post is the best that that’s happened to me all day! That’s hysterical. Love your sense of humor.
ACircleinThePath: Thanks for coming by for a read. Gracias, Jules
Funny!
Thanks apronheadlilly. Gracias, Jules
One good like deserves another. Thanks for that Ol’Jules. This orange jumper escapade is a riot. Wouldnt recommend that type of behaviour in Jamaica but do what works for you I always say.
Thanks Anonymous: Luckily I don’t live in Jamaica, but thanks for the advice. I’ll take it into account. Gracias, Jules
What a fun sense of humor you have! Makes for a lot of chatter in the cockpit!
Morning petalpusher: Thanks for the kind words and the read. Gracias, Jules
Funny. You comment on my blog, the first entry of yours I come into is about orange jumpsuits…
I worked in the biggest gaol in Australia 2006-10! We use those same jumpsuits for Very Important Residents. Normally in combination with belt restraints….
Westie: Yep, that’s why it works here. Thanks for stopping by. Gracias, Jules
Hysterical! Mess with their heads – they deserve it! What a great story, Old Jules.
Thank you for coming by Elizabeth. Gracias, Jules
I got a kick out of this. I’d like to get a group of people and some orange jumpsuits, do this in an urban area. Like a convict-walk, instead of a zombie walk.
Ben, like Improv Everywhere? That would be fun. http://improveverywhere.com/
I think it could probably be arranged with some management. Good luck doing it. Gracias, Jules
I gotta hand it to you Old Jules. You got me hooked on your blog. I’m only a temporary ranter. You are living the life. They say it is easier to fight for your principals than to live up to them. One thing about social security, I keep trying to get my Senators and Representative to broad cast that every administration since Ronald Reagan has borrowed from social security and never paid it back. Reagan at left I.O.U.’s. The rest???? No one wants to admit they borrowed, and CAN’T pay it back. The pukes!
Mary
2gatabout: I’m obliged you came around. Yeah, I agree about trying to live up to our what it is we think we ought to live up to. Mebe next time, thinks I. Best to you, Jules
I received a message you’ve subscribed to my blog, Slice of Life. I don’t use that blog anymore. It just sits there in cyber space. Boyfriend and I blog together at http://otrwjam.wordpress.com, which is where you read my rant.
Just so you know.
Life is good.
Mary
Mary: Yeah, it is. Thanks for coming by. I’ll make the changes. Gracias, Jules
Hallo Old Jules. You liked my post today – for which thanks! This post of yours is hilarious!!
Gracias Jennifer: Thanks for the visit. Jules
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Thank you shadoirds. I’m not sure what this is, but thanks. Jules
You inspired me! I could see my father doing something similar!
The following is from a post at my site that I have dedicated to you Sir!
Heres hoping you enjoy it at least half as much as this half wit whats wrote it!
Loren Foster, AKA shadolrds
Of Orange Jumpsuits and Helicopters, do you want to know more? (Picture in your minds eyes and ears the announcer from “Starship Troopers”, banners and segues, hit it!)
Well then lets get to it, now that I have your attention all Chained up and raring to Run!
And No, that is not Arnold AKA Running Man, AKA Terminated Governator, in a hair net, but it might be Richard Dawson, after kissing all those married contestants on Family Fued!
So would this not be a Plain Brown Wrapper, or a Vanilla Ice WannaBe?
I take it the above photo explains the Orange Jumpsuit part of our teaser line?
For the Helicopter portion, hmm, nah, not going to make that too easy now am I? Nope, don’t think so, no way no how, no how way! Go hit the High Way, cause low flying copters, well lets say they might cut off some chicken heads, and it sure doesn’t pay to play Chicken with something that has such Sharp Rotor Blades.
But back to the Helicopter parts, which could be flying every which way iffin it were to be crashing a party. Get it? Parts, Party? Body parts! And that isn’t even throwing in that Orange Jumpsuits bring up to mind Orange Orangutans and Clint Eastwood all Loosey Lu Pink Cadillacing.
Well enough jawing, go find your own Jaw bone, call her Lucy, but watch out for dribble glasses at the bar fights, then you can avoid coming down with Dr Leaky, and getting all Australopithecus , you might end up On the Trail a Old Pithecus, or just all pissy cussed. Some might even say some cuss words if their Jewels were stolen, Family Jewels that is!
Well, think its time for the answer to Helicopters and Jumpsuits?
Go see a friend of mine, from whose site I stole the photo you had in your sights earlier.
Yep, good Old Jules,, from over at
So Far From Heaven
Too many reincarnations in a single lifetime to trust this one.
Enjoy! I do!
Hope Old Jules does! Cause this ones on me, for him!
Lets have another round of applause for Old Jules!
https://sofarfromheaven.com/
Just one question though? What are you going to do with the Helicopter if you do catch it?
Thank you shadoirds. I’ll go over and give it a read. I’m obliged. Gracias, Jules
That’s hilarious. Sounds like a lot of fun.
Derekberry: Indeed it is. Haven’t seen any in a while though. Having withdrawal symptoms. Thanks for the visit. Jules
Thats absolutely hilarious! gotta love that… but I am so far out in the country I don’t get anyone flying over here… wish I did just so i could give them a lift… Hysterical!
Thanks Lisa. Maybe some of mine are looking for you. I haven’t seen them in a while. Gracias, Jules
I’m in Buffalo ny. only 2 cats and 2 ( undocumented ) chickens. I relayed this story to a few friends. they loved it
Anonymous: Thanks for the visit. I loves them chickens. Jules
Another good one, not surprising! I was wondering about the escaped convict angle, too. I don’t suppose you’ve ever revealed what those “workings” are? You sure it wouldn’t be even more fun to chase a hot redhead around the property…if you could find a good one…if she promised to let you “catch” her at least once, sometime each day? IF NOT—then the orange suit will have to do.
Hi Jonathan. I appreciate your visit. Actually the blog’s full of pictures of my workings – most of them involve building from salvaged materials. There’s a building in progress [pics here somewhere under the catagory WHITE TRASH REPAIRS, or REDNECK REPAIRS https://sofarfromheaven.com/2011/07/31/white-trash-repairs/%5D with a roof consisting of an upside-down hot-tub..
If the workings were of the sort you’re hinting at they’d have landed the chopper, methinks. Gracias, Old Jules
Yup…tho’ they could have been mining workings. My wife and I have just one cat now—one of my poetic subjects for sure. And my wife doesn’t run very fast anymore…so she’s not available for anyone’s aerobic activity. Enough to get her to go a-walking down the hall pushing her walker and she’s a silvery brunette who already owns me. so you are on your own in regards to the redhead. Best of greetings on this fine Saturday!
Thanks Jonathan and regards and best wishes to your wife. Gracias, Jules
I enjoyed your humor and will be checking in with you. I have orange PJs.
Thanks craig: Orange PJs would work as well I reckons. Gracias, Jules
Hysterical! I’m sitting here smiling…and judging by the other comments, I’m not the only one. Sounds like you’re creating a great energy by playing when the helicopters are (presumably) doing their mysterious stuff in deadly earnest. Stay safe and stay orange.
Thanks lisa, and thanks for the read. Jules
Hilarious! You’re a very creative man! I’m def subscribing! Stay young at heart dear friend!
Good Morning.
Thank you so much for popping past.
I am so glad I have found your post.
It is delightful and I will be back.
You have given me some ideas on how to pass the time when I retire next year. 🙂
Thanks Granny. Pleasure meeting you. Yep, keeping busy after retirement keeps us young. Gracias, Jules
Damn…I always do this.
Forgot to subscribe.
Thanks Ma’am. Glad you remembered. Jules
Thats hilarious! Well done, made my day!
Thanks Deano. Jules
here in appalachia we have been dealing with government corruption longer than you in texas. we had government men before texas was even texas. our long history of being poorly governed has led most appalachian people to agree that; HUMAN BEINGS ARE INATELY INCAPABLE OF GOVERNING THEMSELVES FAIRLY.
“same cowpie, different boot”, juice taylor, new mexico cowboy.
Hi beatles: Over here in Texas we’ve generally been limited by our dates of birth by how far we could go back dealing with anything. That, and our trips out of state subtracted from the overall diration. But I expect you’re right in what you’ve concluded. I never knew a New Mexico cowboy to say anything inaccurate or not entirely true. Gracias for the visit, Jules
Jules,
LOL! As a former police officer, I was tickled by your ingenuity and sense of humor! :o) My wife is a Texan…(and also a former cop) and giggled and snorted as we visualized the buzzing helicopter and the excited radio traffic it likely generated. Thanks for sharing and take care.
Jim
What a scream! Since I can’t run very fast, I’ll probably opt not to copy you just in case some trigger-happy copter passenger gets itchy, but I love the anarchic spirit of the dash. Carry on carrying on, Jules!
Kathryn
Old Jules, Thanks for dropping by my blog. I can tell I’m going to get a lot of giggles from yours, so I’ve added you to my Google Reader.
Hilarious! That’s quite a creative idea! There are quite a few helicopters and such that fly by my place too… but they’re normally watching the nearby highway. I remember when I was much younger, I would run outside and wave hello to them 🙂 Great post!
Haha!
Jules, you are priceless! If my Dad were still alive, the character that we was – I can see him hanging out with you. He was a total practical joker and would have LOVED the orange jumpsuit thing! Thanks for stopping by my GF4A site, too!
Bev
Thanks Bev: J
Many years ago I owned a reversable parka. One side was prison orange. I never gave it much thought aside from the fact that I’d be safer as a pedestrian wearing it. Then, cops kept slowing down to check me out. I thought it was funny at the time, but I never egged them on deliberately.
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I love the way you think! I could see you out there and imagine what the guys in the helicopter were thinking.
I read several of your posts and enjoyed them all.
Good blog, and thanks for topping by and “liking” my post.
Carrie
Hi Jules, Like the jump suit ! Just watch it if the copter lands….
Hope the flies are disappearing. How about COP 17, 20,000 people agreeing on something.
regards,
richard
ixpieth: I appreciate your visit and reply, though I don’t understand about the cop thing. Flies are gone. It’s winter now. Jules
Thanks for your ‘like’ on my posts!
Have a great Holiday!
ps….I have 3 inside cats (1 dog)
and outside cats … 3 +++
Mothersheart: I’m obliged you came by. Regards to the six cats. Grrr to the dog. Grrrrracias. J
Dear Old Jules.
Your orange jump suit action story is brilliant and very entertaining!
Have you ever tried to find yourself on google maps?
Kind regards, Anette.
Anette Heermann: Yep… not Google but Flashearth dot com. I’m right there where they thought I was. Gracias, Jules
This is brilliant! I have a few friends who would enjoy the same form of exercise.
Orange suits are becoming a prominent feature of our nation. I enjoyed your creative use of the orange suit.
Hahaha, wow. Be careful running around like that! I hear that in the US now you can be arrested and imprisoned without trial ~ ~ O_O
angrygaijin: The flip side is that prison provides three squares a day and a place to sleep when they aren’t torturing you. Gracias, Jules