About Trust and Knowing Other Humans

Originally posted on another blog Tuesday, October 24, 2006 

Maybe this is all bull, but it’s the most painless way I’ve ever found to view reality and my human co-conspirators here in this lifetime.  Riding the mudball around the star and watching the two-legged critters wade around the muck beside me hasn’t caused me to admire us as a species.

As for knowing other humans, we mostly don’t allow ourselves to ‘know’ anyone. Instead, we construct them as we wish them to be, assign a set of behaviors required of them.  Often the people we’re trying to hammer into our mold haven’t  agreed to try to satisfy these requirements.  Still, we count it a violation of ‘trust’ if they don’t perform according to the rules we created.

But, even if they told us they agreed to be what we wished them to be, (and they might have meant it when they did it) obeying contracts of that sort just aren’t part of the usual human machinery. The flesh is weak and time and circumstance erode the best of intentions.

Trusting human beings based on unrealistic contracts probably leads to more heartache than simply abandoning the concept of ‘trust’ and the demands that go with it, and adopting a consistent readiness to forgive and continue loving them. (With no joint checking accounts or shared credit cards).

Old Jules

5 responses to “About Trust and Knowing Other Humans

  1. Like a lot of things, trust works best within boundaries and, as you wrote, without the complications of shared finances. Accepting a person as who they are, with their weaknesses, counts for an awful lot. Forgiveness has to be reciprocal.

  2. Pingback: Lowering Expectations « Tilting At Windmills

  3. Better to have a suspicious mind than to be made a fool of.
    Imagine if all cops don’t have that mind.

    • pochp: Nobody’s going to make a bigger fool of a cop than he started out being when he chose the job. And nobody’s going to make him a bigger a-hole than he is for choosing to stay in it. Thanks for the read. Jules

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