The Fantastic Foreign Flip-Flop Flim-Flam

My stock of foreign flipflops was left in Texas, readers. I’ve been reduced to buying and wearing cloth tennis shoes for $7.95 from Walmart. And it turns out they hold up better than a pair of $20 flipflops and don’t stink any worse any sooner. Worth knowing. Jack

So Far From Heaven

There’s a grave crisis looming, readers.  Time was when good American foots were protected by good American-made flip-flops.  They never failed.  Those old timey flip-flops lasted until they’d absorbed so much foot odor a hog would turn up its nose at them.  Normal landfills rejected them, demanded they be treated as hazardous waste.

But that’s all changed.  You see how those straps come out?  See how the layers of soles separate, sneakily intended to render the entire thing useless?  That’s the Asian plan for taking over the flip-flop world.

They think there’s nothing a good American can do about it, but they’re wrong.   If you can remember to pick up some Gorilla Glue you can make those babies run until they stink, just like the good American ones did.  In the top pic you can see those had been glued, but not sufficiently and the soles peeled open elsewhere.


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2 responses to “The Fantastic Foreign Flip-Flop Flim-Flam

  1. In Brazil, the best ‘chinelo de dedo,’ as they’re called, is considered to be the Havaianas, Hawaiians for some reason, whose advertisement in the 1970s claimed that they don’t smell and never lose their straps, if I remember correctly. Funny, so many things I wish I remember well, and all I can come up with is an old ad. How odd.

    • Hi Wesley: Those must have been non-absorptive. I’ve never encountered them, though I had a nice pair of snap-on tennis-shoe things with a toe on each foot I got in Hawaii. For shallow wading fishing. Tabies they were called. I’d love to still have that pair, though they made it difficult to include socks in the equation. But they looked bizarre enough to justify wearing them around and left a track in the mud worthy of whatever discomfort they cost. Gracias, J

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