Alice Cooper: “My fake beheadings are ‘way better then theirs!”

Alice Cooper covers the Bob Dylan song “Isis”

By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor (apologies to Bob & Alice, and Ted & Carol too if that will stop them from suing us)

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2014/09/04/alices-isis/

By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor (apologies to Bob & Alice, and Ted & Carol too if that will stop them from suing us)

I was “captured” by “ISIS” on the fifth day of May
Knew my head wouldn’t stay on my neck very long
So I gave them the slip and I rode straight away
For the Occupied country where I could not go wrong

I came to a studio of darkness and light
With a fake desert backdrop and a fake Arab town
There were Hollywood props on my left and my right
And a fake chopping block where I laid my head down

A mensch in the corner drew his ersatz sword
I knew right away it was not ordinary
He said “Should we chop your head off now or later?”
I said “For real?”. He said “That ain’t necessary”

He showed me where Fatty Bin Laden was faked
I gave him my neck and he gave me his word
That his chop wouldn’t hurt and my neck wouldn’t break
I said “That’s the best news that I’ve ever heard”

I was thinking about silver I was thinking about gold
I was thinking about diamonds and the Rothschilds too
As he lifted his sword my neck tingled so cold
That the nape-hairs stood upright and my throat turned blue

When he brought down that sword I almost crapped my pants
But it stopped one sixteenth of an inch from my neck
Then they altered the footage and added some gore
Though it wasn’t a triumph of special effects

Then they gave me a new face and twenty new names
And said “keep it quiet or we’ll chop it for real”
I accepted their money and half of the blame
And gave them my word that I never would squeal

On the flight to wherever my airplane was headed
The guy in the next seat was reading the news
When I saw my old face and read I was beheaded
I was sure glad I wasn’t in that poor schmuck’s shoes

They broke into my tomb but the casket was empty
There was no headless body, they knew they’d been had
The conspiracy theorists were yammering plenty
My “beheading,” they argued, was pathetically bad

They revealed my secret, but what did it matter?
The media never would print what they said
And so – bugger all their conspiracy chatter! –
I did well when I let “ISIS” chop off my head

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