Ask Old Jules: Relationship question, Homosexuality, Hidden truths, Understanding affairs

Old Jules, will things get better? My girlfriend said she wanted to go on a break but she said she couldn’t really give me a reason why.

Doesn’t sound promising. When a woman wants to take a break it usually means she’s wing-walking. Wants to make certain she has her foot solidly down on the wing of the other aircraft before she entirely lifts her foot off this one. Taking it as it comes might be your best bet.

Old Jules, do you talk to people you pretend are there?

I frequently go ‘back’ and have conversations with myself at crucial moments in my life.

Old Jules, in your opinion, is homosexuality wrong?

Homosexuality would be wrong for me. Old habits are hard to break and I’ve been hetero for almost 70 years. On the other hand, if I had it to do over starting today I’d probably choose to be gay. Seeing what’s happened to women during the last 50 years and what young women are like today I can easily understand why a young man would prefer other men, dogs, cats, cattle or sheep instead of them.

Old Jules, what truths do you think your hiding from yourself?

I’m being hunted relentlessly by the Men in Black, but I don’t let myself acknowledge it. So are other people and they don’t let themselves think about it either.

Old Jules, would anything change if we made love?

The world would shift for you but for me it’s pretty much old hat. I’d give it a yawn and say thanks. I’m going out for smokes. I’ll be right back.

Old Jules, I don’t understand AFFAIRS. Why do they even happen in the first place? Are they preventable?

Best answer: Affairs happen because men and women draw pleasure from rubbing their genitals against the genitals of the opposite sex. If the affair involves two people involved in other ‘exclusive’ relationships it usually is because they aren’t rubbing their genitals against the people they’re having the exclusive relationships with as frequently, or in the manner they wish. They’d probably be preventable in exclusive relationships if the two partners cared enough for one another to carefully listen to what was being said and if they concerned themselves with whether the exclusive partners were satisfied, and if not, why not.