News in Brief• Science & Technology• healthcare• News• ISSUE 50•28• Jul 17, 2014
THE HEAVENS—Expressing His hope that the contribution would assist efforts to find a cure for the devastating disease, the Lord Our God, Creator and Supreme Ruler of the Universe, confirmed Thursday that He had pledged $5,000 to the American Cancer Society to help fund ongoing research. “I have the means, so I can afford to give a little bit of money to support such an important cause,” said He Who Commanded Light to Shine Out of the Darkness, describing the contribution as “the very least [He] could do” in the fight against the disease that causes more than 8 million deaths annually. “Now, obviously a $5,000 donation isn’t going to just make the cure appear by itself. Clearly, there’s no magic bullet for this thing. But every little bit helps. And knowing I might be making a small difference in the life of some kid with leukemia or mom with breast cancer just makes me feel like I did my part.” The Divine Creator of Life, Heaven, and Earth told reporters that if the timing works out, He also plans to participate in a 10K benefit run for Hodgkin lymphoma this fall.
Hi Readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.
After we prayed Old Sol up this morning I was explaining to the cats about how and why God picked the Jews for his Chosen People and didn’t give a hoot in hell for any of the rest of humanity.
He did it out of hunger, I explained patiently. God looked around and, while nobody down there was any great shakes, there were a lot of them. Trying to make human beings as a species Chosen instead of a single pocket of them was just not worth the effort. The Jews would do okay for a while until something else came along.
Things began to look up after 1492, and after 1776, God could see he finally had some worthwhile raw material to work with down there on earth. And the more He looked at the situation the better He liked it.
Today God couldn’t care less about any Jews besides the ones living in America. He’s completely indifferent about Roman Catholics living all over the place except America. Same with Zen Buddhists, Hindus and Muslims. Same with Latter Day Saints, and the various Native American religions. Americans are Gods Chosen People today. All of them. God cares more about an American atheist than He does about a Roman Pope, because at least that atheist is an American. Chosen.
Just like before, when it was only Jews, God doesn’t give a hoot in hell about anyone else on the planet.
God loves American Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Christians, Taoists, you name it. And He has perfectly good reasons for doing it, same as he had originally when he made regular Jews His Chosen People, and they blew it.
The competition back then was just no great shakes. It still isn’t.
If you don’t believe me look at all those shale oil deposits they’re suddenly finding under the United States every time they poke a hole in the ground. If that doesn’t convince you look around a bit more. Americans have Chinamen working three shifts to build their toasters. They’ve got Japanese designing and manufacturing their cars instead of worrying about having two-headed offspring. They’ve got Middle Easterners giving them excuses to keep a military establishment big enough to fight the USSR in the golden days of the Cold War. They’ve got Israel keeping things stirred up so’s there’s no danger anyone much will survive what’s going to happen there.
If Americans aren’t God’s Chosen People why are they building that big fence on the US Border with Mexico? Do you think all that starving and killing going on everywhere, say in South America and Africa happened by accident? Hell no it didn’t. You don’t see that kind of crap happening to God’s Chosen People.
God bless America.
Posted in 2013, America, History, Human Behavior, Spirituality
Tagged chosen people, Christians, culture, Education, God, History, Human Behavior, humor, Jews, Life, Mormons, Muslims, Native Americans, Nature, philosophy, religion, society, sociology