FDA Approves First Artificial Tumor
WASHINGTON—Following years of research and testing, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration officially approved a groundbreaking artificial tumor Tuesday, marking the first time a synthetic malignant growth has been cleared for use in patients across the country. “There were obviously significant complications in devising a tumor substitute the human body would accept, but we now have an artificial neoplasm that serves the same physiological functions as an organic abnormal growth of tissue,” said Jeffrey Shuren of the FDA’s Center for Devices and Radiological Health, adding that the polymer-based lump can be safely implanted in patients regardless of age, health, or medical history during a minimally invasive and relatively quick two-hour surgical procedure. “This synthetic tumor is remarkably lightweight, malignant, and capable of naturally metastasizing throughout the body. It also has the benefit of being incredibly small—roughly the size of a dime—but once in the body, it will grow two to three times in size and will get to work immediately replicating itself.” Shuren added that while initial prototypes of the device had only enough battery power to last a few days, the approved version is capable of going for several years or more, or until its objective has been completed.
Sheeze. Hi readers . Sometimes I disgust myself, make no sense whatever.
Went out to the tire place this morning and ordered two each 10 ply 16.5 inch tires to arrive Wednesday and have mounted before I even know whether I’m going to kick the bucket before I can wear them out. Jumped the gun something awful, but it feels okay, me betting the Universe I can drive on those tires long enough to justify having them before the Universe can draw a tight bead on me and squeeze off a round.
Meanwhile I’m figuring to hear from the VA around Wednesday setting me up for a sawbones to look me over, poke me here and there, tell me to stick out my tongue and say “Ahhh.” Once that’s accomplished he’ll offer up a theory of what I’d least like to hear from a person in his position and watch my facial expressions to decide whether he needs to trump it.
Generally the whole situation’s seeming better than it did a week ago, though. Haven’t been toking the oxygen machine nights, generally been getting all the hyperventilating under control, thinking whatever it was happened was just some damned trick of anomalyism trying to rob my macho.
And hells bells, I’ve got a couple of new tires coming down the pike I have to live long enough to wear out. Hell of a deal.
Got me and address here in Andrews, too, right here on the west coast of Texas, so’s to be able to be a Texas resident dangeriously close to the boundary with New Mexico.
Psychomosomatic heart attacks and similarly life-threatening imaginary events can be a blessing. Boots a man off his ass and gets him out there betting against the Universe, buying tires and sneering into the future with reckless aplomb.
Posted in 2013, Adventure, America, New Mexico, NM, Texas
Tagged country life, health care, Human Behavior, humor, Life, lifestyle, New Mexico, philosophy, politics, senior citizens, society, sociology, survival