If I Voted I’d Vote Mormon

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by. I’ve told you before I don’t vote and never intend to vote, would rather not even know who’s king.

However, my buddy Rich tells me one of the wannabe king-guys is a Mormon.  Which I find cool and exciting.  If I were going to vote, I’d vote for him, same as I’d have voted for this guy now because he’s black.  No way I could have predicted he’d turn out to be some white guy wearing dark makeup.

So, why would I vote Mormon?

  • I’ve known a good many Mormons and had a lot of respect for them.  Good, solid folks.  Tidy.  You can spot a Mormon ranch because the fences are mended, the paint is fresh and there’ll be no loose shingles anywhere.
  • I’d trust any Mormon I’m ever likely to meet a long while before I’d trust almost any Christian I’ve ever met.
  • Mormons don’t care about anyone but other Mormons.  They’d peel these rich Christians like onions if they didn’t convert, which they would.  We’d end up with a Mormon Nation.  The first in history.  Bound to do things weird, different, exciting.  For that matter, they’d peel back everyone else who doesn’t convert, too.  Which everyone would.  I sure as hell would, if it protected my Social Security check from the Wall Street bankers and Washington vultures.
  • I’ve always thought there was something fascinating about the Mountain Meadows Massacre, thought it was an event not repeated often enough in the history of this country.  Everything’s been entirely one-sided.  Seems to me the best prospects for seeing US citizens turning the guns on one another, instead of pointing them at some overseas, non-English speaking villager somewhere, is to get some diversity here.
  • I had a couple of ‘jack’-Mormon lady-friends in my life I still have fond memories of.  I’d vote for either of them if they were running for something.
  • Finally, at least this guy isn’t just a black white man.  Or if he is, Rich didn’t mention it.

Old Jules

14 responses to “If I Voted I’d Vote Mormon

  1. Oh, Jules, you are totally nuts 🙂 and it’s so refreshing. Man – you tell it like you see it! I respect that.

  2. This shows what a bigoted SOB you truly are – remove me from your mailing list.

  3. Any change is better at this point!

  4. must be some wacky tobaccy your way! you’re hilarious!!

  5. I love your attitude; always get a good chuckle!

  6. Great piece of satire. Thanks

  7. It’s not likely that I’ll vote Mormon; however, as you pared down to just a few words the “black white man” hasn’t lived up to my lofty expectations.
    I hoped Barack Obama advocate more for the ordinary person. His ethnicity didn’t resonate with me as much as his childhood did; absent father, strong grandmother, decent women who loved him dearly. He is of my generation so I hoped he would be more like me.
    I will be keeping my subscription.

  8. I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site :).

  9. Damn it Jules. Get a voter registration card and for heavens sake vote this year. Our small business will not last another 4 years under the Dictator’s rule. He does not want to be King, he’s trying for world power as a DICTATOR. I trusted him in the beginning, but now check his “facts” against the records and I find he’s a liar.

    Just once, Jules, VOTE. If you don’t you’ll get fined for not having MANDATORY insurance at several hundred dollars a month!! We could use a cleansing of the health care system but not more governmental bodies screwing everything up and requiring ever more bureaucracy to make sure no one is “cheating.”

    • Shez: Thanks for offering the suggestion. I won’t be voting, but I wish you the best in your bidness. As for fining me, they’ll do what they’re going to do, and I’ll do what I’ll do if backed into a corner with fines I have no intention of paying. I refuse to allow anyone to define for me what’s my business and what isn’t. Gracias, J

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