Daily Archives: August 10, 2012

The Fantastic Foreign Flip-Flop Flim-Flam

There’s a grave crisis looming, readers.  Time was when good American foots were protected by good American-made flip-flops.  They never failed.  Those old timey flip-flops lasted until they’d absorbed so much foot odor a hog would turn up its nose at them.  Normal landfills rejected them, demanded they be treated as hazardous waste.

But that’s all changed.  You see how those straps come out?  See how the layers of soles separate, sneakily intended to render the entire thing useless?  That’s the Asian plan for taking over the flip-flop world.

They think there’s nothing a good American can do about it, but they’re wrong.   If you can remember to pick up some Gorilla Glue you can make those babies run until they stink, just like the good American ones did.  In the top pic you can see those had been glued, but not sufficiently and the soles peeled open elsewhere.

I ran out of glue in the process, so I’ve had to store up my flim-flammed-flip-flops until I can remember to pick up another bottle.  Which is going to need to be soon, because I’m down to two [2] intact flip-flops, both for the same foot.

Next trip to town for sure, I’m getting me some Gorilla Glue, get my foots back into some respectable footware for two different feet.

Old Jules

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Nothing’s Impossible in a Representative Democracy

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

I don’t pay much attention to politics, but it’s truly a temptation I’m going to have to consciously resist this year.  Watching an illusion vanish happens so rarely it might be a crowd pleaser.  Barnham and Bailey coming to town sort of thing.

The magnetic field is in the pure curiosity of just who-the-hell’s going to bother voting.  And for whom.  With Kennedy/Johnson it was the graveyards in south Texas carried them into office when live voters weren’t getting the job done.   This time the graveyard residents might be undecided.

Political parties used to try for voting blocks.  Teachers.  Unions [hardhats one way, the rest, the other].  Hispanics.  Blacks.  Senior citizens.  Young voters.  Businessmen.  Law and Order folk.  Anti-this, Anti-that, pro-this, pro-that.  But now that’s all gone into the grader-ditch of political strategy. 

Not much doubt the ethnic blocks are going to find themselves lacking in enthusiasm after the past few years of diatribes and hate rhetoric without a word being said to neutralize it.  Unions?  Hell, unions are history and both parties have done everything in their power to make it so.  Small businessmen and tradesmen being killed by Chinese competition for a decade?  Old folks having their Social Security pensions threatened with ‘entitlement’ slogans?

The WE OFFER NOTHING, BUT THEY’RE WORSE! approach to electioneering is something new, maybe exciting.

Maybe it’s time to find a vacant FEMA bunker, unplug the communications gear and pretend everything already happened.  Whatever that might be.

Old Jules

Philosophy by Limerick – We’re DIFFERENT Now!

“A Marxist DICTATOR!” she cries
Buzz-wording with widening eyes.
Pretend OUR replacement
Will end the defacement;
OUR bail-outs efficient and wise.

Old Jules

Old Sol – August 10, 2012 – Praying Him Up

Me:  HIYIPP big guy.  Time to get your honeybee ass in gear and start climbing.  Got no time for your backtalk and finger twiddling this morning.  I’ve got important things on my mind.

Old Sol:  Yeah, I’m awake over here.  Sometimes your cheek causes me to faint and have to revive myself, but it’s never kept me from doing my job.

Me:  What you’re calling cheek, amigo, is just proper perspective.  You don’t have one because you’re too preoccupied with insignificant happenings that take too long to make any difference.

Old Sol:  I wonder why I bother.

Me:  Lately I’ve wondered if you’d mind skipping a day-or-three.  You’ve been doing your job a bit too anal for my tastes.  I’m not saying today.  We’ve already got things planned for today.  But how about we schedule something later this week?

Old Sol:  I swear it would be a relief.  I could use the sleep.

Me:  Let’s do it then.  I’ll have my people talk to your people.

Old Sol:  Sure thing.  By the way, you are one weird duck.  Time was you used to pray me up.  How’d we get from there to here?

Me:  Other things just got more important.  A person can set his watch by what you’re going to do, but there’s stuff going on closer in requires hands-on attention.  There’s a popular movement to put you on a time-clock and forget about you.   My cup’s empty and I need to feed the cats.  Just try to get everything right and do things on time today.  I’ve got no time to mess with you.

Old Jules