The Fantastic Foreign Flip-Flop Flim-Flam

There’s a grave crisis looming, readers.  Time was when good American foots were protected by good American-made flip-flops.  They never failed.  Those old timey flip-flops lasted until they’d absorbed so much foot odor a hog would turn up its nose at them.  Normal landfills rejected them, demanded they be treated as hazardous waste.

But that’s all changed.  You see how those straps come out?  See how the layers of soles separate, sneakily intended to render the entire thing useless?  That’s the Asian plan for taking over the flip-flop world.

They think there’s nothing a good American can do about it, but they’re wrong.   If you can remember to pick up some Gorilla Glue you can make those babies run until they stink, just like the good American ones did.  In the top pic you can see those had been glued, but not sufficiently and the soles peeled open elsewhere.

I ran out of glue in the process, so I’ve had to store up my flim-flammed-flip-flops until I can remember to pick up another bottle.  Which is going to need to be soon, because I’m down to two [2] intact flip-flops, both for the same foot.

Next trip to town for sure, I’m getting me some Gorilla Glue, get my foots back into some respectable footware for two different feet.

Old Jules

9 responses to “The Fantastic Foreign Flip-Flop Flim-Flam

  1. Holy Gorilla Glue Batman. We CAN fix this!

    Nothing like stretching a life, even if it’s only a sole.

  2. Gorilla Glue is some of the best stuff ever invented, right after flip flops.

  3. don’t forget duct tape and zip ties ……and maybe pizza

  4. Reblogged this on So Far From Heaven and commented:

    My stock of foreign flipflops was left in Texas, readers. I’ve been reduced to buying and wearing cloth tennis shoes for $7.95 from Walmart. And it turns out they hold up better than a pair of $20 flipflops and don’t stink any worse any sooner. Worth knowing. Jack

  5. Did you buy some pairs of flip flops yet? I recently moved and found a few pairs of unworn flip flops from 25 years ago. I’m sure they are better than ones made today.

    • Darren: Nope, I’m flipflopless and winter’s protecting me from the loss. You’ve got a treasure. Savor it and wear’em down to modern standards. Gracias, J

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