Keeping stupidity to a minimum

Hi readers.

Last trip to Kerrville, after I had my spanking new 10 ply tires mounted, after I’d been inside the Walmart store and bought a 1/2 inch hammer drill [which ain’t going to do the intended job, will have to be returned] I was feeling uppidy something awful.  I got everything tucked into places where it wouldn’t scatter hell-to-breakfast and headed out of the parking lot.

Guy was sitting on the side before the stop sign in a wheel chair.  Had a sign, “Vet – Appreciate any help“.  Stump of one leg sticking out.  I craned my neck and squinted, drove on by, then backed up and pulled to the side, cursing myself.  Hell, I don’t care whether he’s a vet.  Damned guy only has one leg, for Christsake.  Sheeze.  Damnittohell.  Probably got more money than I do, anyway.  Damnittohell.

I rolled down my window and he rolled up close.  “Hey man. ”  He watched me thumbing through my small bill wallet trying to decide how much.  “How you doing?”

Doing okay.”  At least I’ve got both my freaking legs.  Ain’t stooped to begging on the street.  I squeezed my eyes shut so’s to not have to look at the $20 I handed him.

Hey, thanks man.”

No problem.  Hang in there.”  I rolled up the window and backed the RV enough to get back on the road, clinching my teeth, cursing myself for being such a dumbass.  Knowing he’s probably got all kinds of support from a lot of directions.  Searching my mind for rationalizations for having done it.

Finally settled on thinking of Jeanne’s brother, Carl.  Guy’s got MS, crippled up something awful.  Made a lot of lousy decisions in life and got old, in and out of hospitals.  Can’t do squat, doesn’t know from one day to the next whether he and his wife will have a place to live.  Mostly his own fault for not doing everything he could for himself, applying for help from sources it might have been available.

Hell, I decided, if I saw Carl beside the road with a sign I’d give him a $20.  Even if a lot of his problem is his own fault.  The MS ain’t, and we human beings are dumber than cluckshit.  None of us worth shooting. 

Screw it.  The cats and I are generally healthy and at least the stupid we carry around ain’t as heavy on the shoulders at that guy.  Or Carl.  Cripes.  A month from now I’ll never even miss that $20.

Screw it.  But next time I ain’t going to do it.  I hope.

Old Jules

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12 responses to “Keeping stupidity to a minimum

  1. I do it all the time, if I have any cash on me. There but for the grace of a god, I don’t believe in, go I. I’ve done it for close to 30 years. I had a brother who lived on the streets, had some serious physical disabilities, nurtured a drug addiction that gave him HIV that eventually killed him. I used to make “charitable contributions” hoping someone was doing the same for him, now I “donate” in his memory.
    They made their choices and I make mine when I reach into my pocket, just like you did.

    • elroyjones: Thinking more on it after I posted the entry I decided it’s fear …. big fear issue inside the thing. Fear of being made a monkey-of. More afraid of being made a monkey-of than afraid of being some stingy-guts asshole who’d rather leave it for a tip to impress the waitress and the table-sharers than the remote possibility the beggar’s legit. Gracias, J

  2. You were generous and it came from the heart. How he chooses to use the money is up to him…you did your part.

    • MsBelinda: Thanks for coming by and for the comment. Fact is, I’ve probably got more making up to do for all the things I should have done, but didn’t, or did but shouldn’t have, than most people. I can make a good many mistakes yet on the attempts at positive without catching up and calling it generous. Gracias, J

  3. There’s an urban legend going around Facebook at the moment about a pastor who posed as a homeless man in front of his new church and how he turned the reaction of the parishioners (negative) into a sermon on charity. Many of the comments I’ve read on FB were along the lines of “they probably use the money to buy drugs, so I don’t give.” Sheesh, that’s not forgiveness, that’s judgemental. Glad you found the $20 to pass along. Doubtless it will come back to you. Keep the prosperity thoughts flowing.

    • Jeanne: Likely some do use it that way. I reckons I don’t mind buying an alcoholic who needs a drink something to wet his whistle if I can afford to do it. Somebody gave me several pints of blood once when I was dying without it. Likely as not it was an alcoholic. Quid pro quo. Gracias, J

  4. Maybe you are a dumbass, and maybe not. If the fellow was a fraud, then that is on his conscience and his problem. Clearly, you are a conscientious and responsible member of society. After comparing your action with that of leaving a big tip for a waitress, compare it to contributing to a political campaign. Are you still worried about being a dumbass now?

    • Hi Steve and thanks for the remarks. Fact is, I’m enough a dumbass in too many other ways for getting exempt on this one to tilt it over to the positive side. But I’m definitely glad I didn’t give the double sawbuck to a political party. Gracias, J

  5. You’ll do it next time too bro………

  6. Everyone has to do what their heart tells them. Personally, I’m not one to give to strangers on the street, but try to help those I actually know that have problems or need transportation whenever I can. You have to be you and I have to be me.

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