Daily Archives: June 30, 2022

Blind-sided by self awareness

Jack wrote this in August, 2006:

Interesting, the ways we discover things about ourselves reading forums on the Internet.

Things we know already but maybe hadn’t thought about.

I happened to read Excaliber’s post on one of the threads about how he’d lost a lot of his eyesight a decade or so ago and had to quit reading books.  I’m usually not much moved by forum posts, but that one managed to roll over me by surprise.  Shock and deep sadness until I self-examined why.

Purely an identification/selfish reaction.  I was imposing my own value system on Excaliber, whom I think might be the same person as Lantern used to be (which suspicion caused me to feel an empathy for him I mightn’t have if the same had been posted by a total stranger).

But Excaliber went on to remark on various aspects of the affliction.  He’s handling it a lot better than I might.

He mentioned he daydreams a lot, which I do also and call it meditating.  I used to soul travel a lot, as well, but the joy of it was too seductive.  I got so’s I’d rather be there than here, so I backed away from it most of the time.

Anyway, Excaliber’s post got me thinking about physical sensory input and what a blessing it is.  Even if we could remain alive it’s tempting to believe it wouldn’t be worth the trouble.  Until my mind came across a memory of a book I read once by Helen Keller.  Blind and deaf from birth, she grew to be a model of enthusiasm for life for a couple of generations of Americans.  She took the five-high hand she was dealt and made a straight flush of it without any thought of self-pity or complaint entering the game.

Admirable, but it would surely be a tough gig.