Tag Archives: corruption

Elderly Lobbyist Always Droning On About How Little Legislation Cost In His Day

 The Onion – NewsPoliticspoliticiansISSUE 50•34Aug 27, 2014

Foraker once again tells colleagues the same story about how he only needed $5,000 and some moxie to manipulate a Senate vote on automobile fuel economy standards back in 1979.

WASHINGTON—Citing his habit of haranguing younger colleagues about the way things used to be, sources confirmed Wednesday that 74-year-old veteran ExxonMobil lobbyist Hank Foraker is constantly droning on about how much cheaper legislation was back in his day.

The longtime Washington power broker is said to rarely miss an opportunity to hold forth on “the good old days” of the 1970s and ’80s, often repeating the same long, rambling stories about a time when lobbyists and their clients reportedly received a lot more political influence for their dollar than they do today.

“Let me tell you, back when I was a young man, you could get a half dozen bills pushed straight through both houses for what a single congressman’s vote will run you nowadays,” said Foraker, who remarked that 30 years ago, acquiring an exemption from the Clean Water Act cost a tiny fraction of what it does today. “And you’d still have plenty left over to purchase the loyalty of a Cabinet member or a handful of senior White House advisers, too. You don’t even want to know how little it took to buy off a governor back then. You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“It was just a simpler time,” Foraker added. “A quick phone call, a small payoff, and in no time at all, your client could be extracting oil from a federal wildlife preserve. Those were the days.”

According to sources, Foraker often grows wistful for a past in which an eager young lobbyist on a shoestring budget could secure basic legislative carve-outs and tax loopholes for the industry he represented. He noted that a person equipped with the same resources today “wouldn’t even be able to get a simple poison-pill amendment passed.”

Several coworkers stated that on multiple occasions, Foraker has lectured them at length on how there was once a time when it was unheard of for Big Oil interests to pay $500,000 for a House Energy Committee chairman’s cooperation over a two-year term. Additionally, they said he often grows irritated when lobbyists in their 20s and 30s complain about campaign finance restrictions, insisting that at their age, he’d had to surreptitiously pay lawmakers in person to ensure passage of the Trans-Alaska Pipeline Authorization Act of 1973.

“These guys have it so much easier today,” said Foraker, explaining how modern oil industry lobbyists can, with the click of a button, electronically funnel millions of dollars to a super PAC running television ads in support of the Keystone Pipeline. “In the ’80s, you’d take a lawmaker out to a nice steakhouse, look him in the eye, hand over a briefcase with $10,000 in cash toward a reelection campaign, and promise him a highly paid position on your company’s board of directors if he worked to repeal the crude oil windfall profit tax. And in those days, a handshake and your word actually meant something.”

“Now, you’re lucky if organizing a $5,000-a-plate campaign fundraiser gets you 20 minutes alone with a ranking senator on an energy subcommittee to discuss ways to weaken nationwide renewable fuel standards,” Foraker added. “It’s just not as personal as it used to be.”

Many fellow lobbyists conceded to reporters that while Foraker’s tendency to nostalgically reminisce can be endearing at first, it quickly becomes tiresome listening to him talk endlessly about how expensive it has become to hire former high-level officials from the Department of Energy and use their bureaucratic connections to obstruct new offshore oil rig safety regulations.

“Hank’s a nice guy, but I don’t really need to hear about how the amount we recently paid to get the ban lifted on deepwater drilling in the Gulf of Mexico would have been enough to gut 10 anti-pollution bills back in the ’70s,” said Nick Tennelly, a 28-year-old government relations associate at ExxonMobil. “And I think he exaggerates a lot. He once stopped me in the hallway to tell me about this time when, for just a few million dollars, they got the vice president of the United States to convene a secret task force to block green energy initiatives. C’mon. I know things were cheaper in the past, but I have a tough time believing they were that cheap.”

“To be honest, I don’t even see what the big deal is,” Tennelly added. “Even if the industry’s now spending a couple hundred million dollars on lobbying every year, it’s still a drop in the bucket compared to our annual tax breaks.”

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The best and the worst

A significant percentage of US voters believe Ronald Reagan was the best president in US history.  Despite Iran/Contra, arms for hostages, and trickle-down economics.  History is not the long-suite among high school graduates in the United States.

A significant percentage of US voters believe Ronald Reagan was the best president in US history. Despite Iran/Contra, arms for hostages, and trickle-down economics. History is not the long-suite among high school graduates in the United States.

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Yahoo News conducted a poll of +-1400 voters and asked who was the worst president in US history.  The results were that 33% believe the guy in the White House now is the worst.  28% believe the guy who was in there before him was the worst.

The pollsters used subtle methods for determining what percentage of the voters believing the guy in there now is the worst did so because he was black.  They concluded +-5% simply could not stand the thought of a black man serving in the White House except as a shoe-shine boy.

Which leaves the question among non-racist voters precisely equal:  56% of US voters believe one of the last two US presidents was the worst in US history.  28% Bush, 28% wossname.

All of which should raise some alarming questions in the minds of everyone else.  When did they quit teaching children US history in school?

Sheeze! The freaking Civil Freaking WAR was fought during the watch of one US president!  Two were impeached!  One was responsible for the Trail of Tears and moving the aboriginal tribes east of the Mississippi the-hell anywhere west of the Mississippi and stealing their farms, barns, equipment, animals, crops for white people.  Even though those Cherokees and some other tribes were already doing their best to BE white people.  Hell, a few years later they even had a Cherokee general commanding troops during the Civil War.  Chreeeeeist!  They even owned slaves!  What the hell do you have to do to be civilized?

Then there’s Lyndon Johnson, faked the Gulf of Tonkin Incident and used it to justify carpet bombing of North Vietnam, had South Vietnam President Diem assassinated by the CIA, and did the Great Society.

There’s John freaking Kennedy, son of a damned bootlegging smuggling NAZI supporter during the pre-WWII years.  Responsible for the Bay of Pigs, among other fiascos.

Hells bells, there’s Clinton for Christs sakes.  Got a blowjob in the Oval Office.  No Jennifer Oneal, her, either.  Shot up Ruby Ridge, murdered a couple-score Branch Davidians outside Wacoi, and smuggled huge amounts of coke and crack into Arkansas on CIA aircraft.  Got almost impeached because of shady real estate deals he and the little woman were up to their asses in.

These two guys now and just before him are pikers.  Except where deficit spending and fruitless military adventures are concerned.  These two couldn’t find their asses with flashlights when it comes to real corruption.

Old Jules

The Vietnam War finally explained

Why are these men not in jail? (photo: Getty Images)

Above:  People carefully avoiding inadvertent visits to Vietnam.  http://readersupportednews.org/news-section2/345-justice/22925-vietnam-is-sentencing-corrupt-bankers-to-death-by-firing-squad

Hi readers.

I’ve you’re like me the two burning mysteries of the 20th Century concern US submersion into two foreign wars:  WWI and Vietnam.

WWI will probably always remain a piece of unexplainable and unexplained craziness.  But suddenly the underlying reason for the Vietnam War bubbles to the surface of 21st Century reality almost out of nowhere.

The bastards execute corrupt bankers!

Vietnam Is Sentencing Corrupt Bankers to Death by Firing Squad”  http://readersupportednews.org/news-section2/345-justice/22925-vietnam-is-sentencing-corrupt-bankers-to-death-by-firing-squad

Sheeze!  There was never anything in that country worth a single US life and it never made any sense any US troop had to set foot on the soil there.  Just some crazy-assed paranoid ‘domino theory’ was how they justified it at the time.  But secretly the US Government probably knew the Vietnamese were capable of thinking outside the box.

Any place that has the potential for standing corrupt bankers up before firing squads and blowing them into the next lifetime is sure as hell a place that needs stopping.  That’s the sort of idea that could catch hold.

Dangerous stuff.

Hell, if we had another hundred yards of Vietnam Memorial Wall and it saved the life of one corrupt banker it would be worth it.  Executing politicians, bankers, war industrialists is just the sort of subversive thinking that caused the Russian Revolution.  Got the whole fatcat aristocracy sitting on the heads of starving peasants killed off and replaced by a different kind of killer-shark.

We’ve been a bit short of wars lately, but here’s an opportunity to fill the gap.  But this time, a Constitutionally legal war declared by the US Congress.  A new Vietnam War everyone who matters will be able to understand and sympathize.

Bomb those bastards back to the stone age.  Destroy them to save them.

Fact is, if this were adopted in the US it would silence all this dissent about the death penalty.  Likely there’d be ticker-tape parades.  Where the hell would that leave us?

Remember where you heard it first.

Old Jules

 

 

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