Roof and Chimney Leaks — White Trash Repairs

Edited in Preface:  Someone’s told me this post is a bit grim, which floored me.  That is NOT what this is all about.  I might well be the happiest man on the planet, the most joyful and grateful for the roof over his head, for the animalcules, for every moment of this life I’m blessed with.  I am sure as hell not complaining about the way I live in this post, not poking around looking for sympathy from anyone.  There’s not one of you I’d trade lives with.

Please allow your mind to read what follows with a smile.  I love this crap.  This post is me laughing at myself, laughing at whatever life might throw at me, telling life, “Do your damnedest!  I’ll keep coming.”

“Science,”  Hydrox the jellicle cat insists, “You observe, you formulate a premise, you test the premise and revise it, then you test again.  Just make damned certain it’s right this time.”  Hydrox is one of the two felines indoors during cool, and especially during inclement weather.   “If science isn’t cutting it try some engineering.”

He takes a jaundiced view of hiding under something to get away from thunder only to get drenched by a lousy roof repair experiment.   Hydrox is attuned Level 3 Reiki.

Reiki Masters,” he assures me, ” At least cat Reiki Masters, don’t appreciate being interrupted from doing high-minded things by getting sloshed because of criminal negligence on the part of a human being.”

Back when I was attuning him several people thought this mightn’t be a good thing.  It’s been a mixed blessing.

That chimney pipe was leaking badly back when it still rained.  But this repair job hasn’t had the test of a good rainfall yet.

Edit:  This larger diameter stovepipe came from Habitat for Humanity Thrift Store [toward the bottom here:   Curiouser and curiouser ] for a couple of bucks.  If the current fix doesn’t work I’ll cut the down-end with the angle cutter to match the slope of the roof, cut the top shorter than the chimney vent and sleeve the chimney with it.  I thinks it will block of a lot, if not all the pesky intrusion of rain into the chimney pipe.

As you can see, I’ve smeared tar all over the the joints in the sheet metal roof, in addition to the customized chimney.  That didn’t work too well, I’ll confess.  Got some other things to try though.  The light brown or tan you see is the foam you get at the hardware store that is touted as being able to plug large leaks by expanding into them to fill in the space.  No joy on that.

The chimney problem’s crucial.  Water hitting the side of it goes inside, runs down to the elbow in the bedroom but doesn’t slow down much:

[The gray hat’s a XXXXXX John B Stetson I picked up at a silent auction a few years ago for $10.  Man who owned but never wore it died and left it to me, though we never met.]

Naturally there’s a backup plan to keep water from coming down on the bed in the unlikely event it rains:

This has worked pretty well in the light rain arena.  Hasn’t been tested in a bull goose honest-to-goodness wind blowing rain sideways daddy-long-legs storm.

But we didn’t reach a consensus, the felines etc. on the matter of roof repairs and leaks.  Shiva the cow-cat argues, “What the hell!  Here’s a perfect spot for both those indoor cats in a thunderstorm.  What’s the big deal?  If they don’t like it throw them outdoors with Tabby and me.

I’m sick and tired of all the age discrimination around here in favor of geriatric cats.”


Old Jules

Bob Dylan– Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall

27 responses to “Roof and Chimney Leaks — White Trash Repairs

  1. An outdoor, sit-down shower…with a view..!!



    • Hi Bill m: Yeah, I love the thing. Luckily there aren’t any neighbors within seeing distance, though rich folks have built a giant house on a ridge a few miles away with line-of-sight potential. Probably if they were interested in how I live through a telescopic lense I’d end up in jail for indecent exposure. Thanks for coming by and the read. Gracias, J

  2. I have a stove pipe leak and a roof leak. I have two large drip pans. Whenever you think you have a stove pipe leak fixed just wait a few minutes and it’ll pop up again.

    • Hi Old Fool: Thanks for coming by for a visit. I’ve picked up a piece of larger diameter stovepipe at the Habitat for Humanity Thrift Store I figure I’ll cut with an angle cutter to match the slope of the roof and slide it over as a sleeve for the old chimbley if this doesn’t do the trick. I agree with you it’s not easy stopping the leak, but I have enough invested in keeping the rain out to have me trying to fix it as a mission in life. Gracias, J

  3. My sister from Hill Country just called and it’s raining where they are, between Comfort and Boerne! I told her about your rain music. I hope it’s working for you, too!

    • Morning Teresa Evangeline. Thanks for coming by for a visit. Yep, it’s sprinkling a bit out there, thickening up some. I’m thinking some moisture might be in the offing. Glad your sister’s getting it. Comfort and Boerne aren’t all that far down the road. Gracias, Jules

  4. About your leaks,, one word,, ( or two really ) Duct Tape!! And even some of the metal tape they use to seal AC ducts, it’s aluminum on one side and had a real stick to it feature . Will contour to fill in the holes or seams.

  5. For once, I have practical experience in the issue you raise. I second the words of Old Texan. Did a metal roof for my mother-in-law. Lacking a proper boot on one stove pipe, I took a scrap of the roofing, cut a small diameter hole in it. Then I used tin-snips to cut splines back to the size of the pipe. Lotsa thin splines, dangerous to handle without leather gloves. Then I took off the hat, and gently worked it down the stove pipe, leaving the splines to reach upward and grip. Used a good bit of long-life clear silicone caulk, and topped it off with aluminum tape. Two years ago that was, and it still doesn’t leak.

  6. Jules, you have just been dubbed an honorary man of the Appalachians and that is my highest honor. That stove pipe brings back memories. Be sure to catch Robert Hayden’s poems at my place Sunday morning.

    • Morning Cletis. Thanks. I’ve always aspired to be a man of the Appalachians. My ancestors converged there, then left and brought me high and dry into being in this bunch of other places I’ve spent my life. Glad you enjoyed the post. Gracias, J

  7. Grim? I love this post! American ingenuity at its finest. Jules when I get done working for the Yuppies here in Yuppieland . I am going to find a spot much like yours. Careful though Bro rich folks don’t want to Actually see the other half.


  8. Didn’t find it grim, but that’s okay. I forwarded the link to my son back in NYS, who just executed his own white-trash chimney repair on our little house. Any old thing that keeps out out is a fine thing, indeed.

    • Morning to you. Hope your son’s repair works for thim the first time. Yeah, I didn’t find it grim, either. Guess people have their own ways of looking at things. Gracias, J

  9. Jules, you can get alot of good info on in the forums. Their main focus is on safety. Have heated with a woodstove for 18 years and still learning alot from these people. Good luck.

  10. About your leaks,, one word,, ( or two really ) Duct Tape!! And even some of the metal tape they use to seal AC ducts, it’s aluminum on one side and had a real stick to it feature . Will contour to fill in the holes or seams.

  11. Cats understand everything. If they were in the mood they might have done your repairs for you. I wrote a series of stories about a talking cat and a guy who is getting divorced. Its a free download if you’re interested.

  12. Hey, I would LOVE to send you our rain. It’s a monsoon here in Oregon this morning. PS- thanks for commenting on my blog, I thought your first line was fabulous!

  13. Jules….I didn’t catch the grim feeling myself, unless someone inferred it from not understanding the allure of solitude. I thought it was an interesting tale, especially the comments from your companions with tails. T’was interesting to me because I’ve had a few places in my past where roof wars occurred every year during it rained. I found duct tape to be my friend, if used in copious quantities. Hope this next rainy season finds you dry as you wish to be….take care….

  14. Orlando Roof repair Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time as you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a weblog website? The account helped me a applicable deal. I have been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vibrant clear idea

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