The human mind is a strange place to find ourselves living if we ever get enough distance from the background noise to notice. I tend to notice it a lot.
This morning seemed destined to be just another day. Gale and Kay were doing the Austin Gem and Mineral Show, so I’d figured to walk up to his house to get the truck mid-day so’s to take care of putting their chickens to bed tonight. Startled me a bit when I looked up and there he sat in Little Red a few feet away, having brought it down to me. My hearing must be further gone than I’d realized.
Seemed they’d no sooner gone than I got an email from Jeanne saying my old friend from childhood and later lost-gold-mine chasing days was in Fredericksburg trying to get hold of me hoping I could get over there for lunch. Heck, it must be 15 years or more since I’ve seen Keith, though recently he’s been reading this blog. Naturally him being 40 miles away and me with a truck sitting there available, I headed over there.
Really nice visit, but in the course of bringing one another up-to-date he asked me a number of questions about my situation here that forced me to take a hard look and organize my thoughts about it all. That kicked off a series of trails of thinking to organize clearer, more concrete priorities for myself within a realistic examination of my options.
There aren’t a lot of them, but they’re all stacked atop a single one: having the means of leaving this place in a relatively short time if the need arises. It’s time I decided on a single course of action and begin leading events in a direction that allows it to congeal in a way that accomodates the needs of the cats.
But the process of thinking about it in an organized way had a parallel thinking-path over whispering somewhere else in my brain wiggling out a sort of excitement, anticipation about it. Here’s something that will be pure trauma and agony for the cats I do everything possible to spare such things, and my ticker’s beating a little faster in a pleasurable way just considering it.
That, combined with the certainty the process of getting things together to execute the plan I come with is going to involve some unpleasantness, excruciating work and fingernail chewing as it goes along.
Seems I’ve somehow contrived to be two different places at the same time inside my mind. One being pushed by probabilities to do what makes sense rather than what I’d prefer, the cats would prefer. And one reaching somewhere into fond memories of pinon trees, high mountains and an entirely different sort of solitude than I have here.
Keith confided to me today, “Everyone thinks you’re crazy.” I can’t find any good argument that everyone’s wrong. It’s nice being crazy and still being as happy as I manage to be all the time, though.
Anyway, to satisfy that fiddle-footed nagging, here are some songs of the highway and the road.
The Cheers – “Black Denim Trousers”
Roger Miller “Me And Bobby McGee”
NAT KING COLE ROUTE 66
John Denver – Live in Japan 81 – Take Me Home, Country Roads
Roger Miller – I’ve Been A Long Time Leavin’ (But I’ll Be A Long Time Gone)
Hank Snow – I’ve Been Everywhere
Playmates – Beep Beep (The Little Nash Rambler)
Robert Mitchum sings The Ballad of Thunder Road
Roy Orbison – Ride Away
C. W. McCall “Wolf Creek Pass”
Hot Rod Lincoln – Charlie Ryan and the Timberline Riders 1960
MAC DAVIS Texas in My Rear View Mirror
Guy Clark LA Freeway
Willie Nelson On the Road Again
Easy Rider – Born To Be Wild (HQ)
LOST HIGHWAY by Hank Williams
Leonard Cohen – I Can’t Forget (live 1988)
Beach Boys – (It’s The) Little Old Lady From Pasadena
Beach Boys live ’64 Little Deuce Coupe
Neil Young – Hitchhiker
VANITY FARE HITCHIN A RIDE
‘YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU’ BY KENNY ROGERS & THE 1ST EDITION
Fats Domino – Walking to New Orleans