Sweatsocks, Milo Maize and Microwaves

Morning readers.  I’m obliged you came by for a read.

Some of you are too young to remember why microwave ovens and electricity were invented.  It’s a fact worth knowing.

The pioneers, when they invented this country, lived mostly in dugouts.  Dugout canoes in the summer, dugout houses in the winter.  Those winters tended to get them cold on their backsides and necks.  So they started growing wheat, milo maize, rice, to try heating up and putting in some warm container to throw around their necks to try to keep warm.

They tried all manner of containers, those cold natured ancestors of ours.  Tried skinning rabbits and sewing up grain inside the hides, but it didn’t take any time at all before the only benefit they were getting from it was the smell of burning hair.  So they invented sweat socks to put it in.

But they needed a way to heat it up without burning it, so they invented microwave ovens.  Trouble was, the microwaves sat there for generations full of sweatsox waiting for electricity to be invented.

Then along came Nicoli Tesla Edison with the solution.

So nowadays all you have to do is plug that mama in, that microwave, shove in a sweat sock full of grain, run it about five minutes, and you have a thingamabob you can drape around your neck when it’s cold, or stiff, or for when the old shoulder’s reminding you of a motorcycle that wrapped itself around a tree 40 years ago, and you can toss in another one for putting at the foot of your blankets to give the cats a place to get hacked off when you throw them off it and go to bed.

Got two of them in that microwave right this very moment.

Thankee universe for nicola tesla edison and joseph h. microwave and their yankee ingenuity inventions.  And thankee universe for joseph cotton’s development of sweatsocks.  Also Horatio Milo, the developer of Milo Maize.

We lucky to have this universe to provide such blessings.

Old Jules

21 responses to “Sweatsocks, Milo Maize and Microwaves

  1. Elroyjones: Thanks. It’s gotten me through a lot of winters. Gracias, Jules

  2. Boy i need one of those today.. it is storming something terrible out there this morning, I have the fire roaring! c

  3. I am glad you straighened me out on the history of keeping warm. Just think, I was wrong all these years.

    • DizzyDick: We can both be wrong if you like it better that way. For me life’s been mostly a journey of discovery of all the ways a human being can be wrong. Too late to change directions here, but I don’t hold being right against anyone else if they can manage it. There might even be virtue in it. Gracias, Jules

  4. I bought lots of new-fangled cold weather gear back when I was in the Army. Most of it was made with varying mixtures of polypropylene. Now that’s considered old-fangled, along with wool and such. Funny thing is, it all still works just dandy, even for when I have to ride my bicycle several miles at 15°F. It just doesn’t cost as much as the new new-fangled stuff.

    • Hi Ed. Thanks for the visit. I’m not sure what’s out there in advanced cold weather gear, but I’m surely fond of Pendleton wool blankets. But I’ve got a balaclava Jeanne sent me recently made out of fleece I’m finding to my liking. Whatever works, I reckons. Gracias, Jules

  5. You forgot Armstrong heaters. When we were teenagers, the boys put a strong arm around his girl’s shoulders. Kept them both warm and you didn’t need electricity neither. I bet that there heater is older than time.

    Great post.

  6. Lol. Jules, I love your logic. Thanks for the laugh.

  7. Pingback: The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Kim Jong Il Proclaimed Eternal Leader « Author Piper Bayard

  8. Now I’m wondering why my parents got a microwave in Florida. Seems pointless now…

    • HTBS: I’m guessing they got it for when Y2K or the planetary axial reversal happens because the Mayan calendar ran spang out of things to predict. Just a guess, though. Gracias, Jules

  9. You Were Born To Succeed

    Thanks for the history lesson, Jules. It’s a good one, and more interesting than what’s in the books. Today is the first truly cold day of our winter, with snow falling gently from the sky. It hasn’t covered the grass yet, and probably won’t amount to much. I’m OK with that. Keep warm.

  10. Glad that Tesla feller finally got credit for the wireless from that dang pretender, Marconi. Hell, I knew Marconi and he couldn’t even stir up a good spaghetti sauce. I once owned that very hat, Jules. Disappeared years ago. Were you ever around my way:)?

    • Hi Cletis: I’m obliged you pointed that out about the Marconi spaghetti sauce. As for the hat, I’m guessing it was a twin brother you lost. The sheep this one came off of was right there declaring I was the original buyer when I bought it. Looked as though there was another hat left one it, too. Probably yours. Gracias, Jules

      PS: Hope you’ve been feeling better.

  11. Gotta keep the tootsie wootsie’s warm…

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