Texas Gals Kick Ass

Tastefully tattooed on the inside of the thigh of the Goldilox behind me in line at Walmart.  She saw me trying to read it and lifted her leg to make it easier.  “Awsome?”

I’ve seen worse.”  I was a lot younger and mostly drunk, but a number worse ones still came to mind.

She frowned at meand I squinted my brain trying to figure out just what the hell “Texas Gals Kick Ass” could be intended to communicate to readers.  Luckily the cashier interrupted.  “You want the two-year return plan for $5 more?”

Me grabbing for straws welcoming any distraction, “Yeah.  Sure.”

A person gets a statement tattooed anywhere there’s bound to be meaning hiding in it.  Something intended to happen in the mind of the person who sees it.  From now until she’s my age.

Hell, maybe she’s into Kung Fu, or plays soccor.  Maybe she’s a wild-burro rider on the rodeo circuit.  I was surprised by the ‘gals’ part… wasn’t my impression young women today would sit still for being called gals. 

The ‘Texas’ part?  I count it a relief.

I honestly don’t like to think about gals outside Texas going around kicking ass, or saying they do.  Thinking they do.

Not bad in the thigh department, though.

Old Jules

21 responses to “Texas Gals Kick Ass

  1. Texas girls are a breed all their own!! And a lot of them can kick your ass.

  2. What I’m thinking it meant doesn’t have much to do with kicking in the literal sense.

    • elroyjones: You’re three steps ahead of me … I’m baffled. J

      • It seems to me that she could be saying she’d wear a person out, that a person would likely crawl out of bed on his hands and knees, worn to a frazzle, half the man he used to be, and happy about it, because he got his ass kicked. Otherwise why the inside of her thigh? I could be wrong but I hope I’m not. I hope she’s a two stepping, hard drinking, ass kicking gal. You know there’s a story there!

        • Elroyjones: I’m amazed…. that makes more sense than anything I’ve thought of. Gracias, J

          • You can’t imagine the grin! I’m posting a short story about her. I’m not quite sure where it will go but it ought to be a pretty good time. I really appreciate your inspiration on this one and gave you credit for it.

      • This is what I’m thinking-
        Their hands broke her. She couldn’t resist a pair of pretty hands. She preferred callouses, clean fingernails, nice bones, slim wrists and a firm, dry handshake. Substantial, confident hands. If they could two-step so much the better. She hung out at Broncos, a country bar in Gretna, Louisiana. She was from Texas. She had a tattoo on the inside of her thigh, “Texas gals kick ass.” Her ex-husband convinced her to get it one night when they were drinking in Michigan. He used to say that to her after she had her way with him, “Honey, you kicked my ass.” If only she’d known the explaining she’d have to do in the future after the divorce. He didn’t have pretty hands.

  3. My daughter and her hubby have some tattoos. What will they look like when they’re 80? Not my problem.
    I guess Texas girls can look after themselves is what it means, or they can do anything they set their minds to.

  4. Wonder if the moral of the story and answer to the question:

    5 dollars for a better look at the tattoo on her thigh…..and who knows… iffn you manage to remember where you put your receipt on the return upgrade after viewing the tat during the 25 minute wait in line and ever have a need for a return?

    Well 5 dollars well spent I reckon.

    • Hi Eddie: I was putting my money down on a cheap corded 1/2 inch ‘hammer drill’, which the clerk assured me is the same as an impact tool. I agree the 5-spot might be well spent. Gracias, J

  5. Pingback: Texas Kick Ass | elroyjones

  6. Well, now, think of that tat as a rattle on a rattle snake. Fair warning and all. It’s the moccasins that should worry you.

    • Good point, Ann. I try to stay away from moccasins unless they belong to someone else and I haven’t walked a mile in them. If they don’t, and if I have, I still avoid them. Gracias, J

  7. Unless she was injected with Novacaine before the tatoo session, that gal had to kick ass. The inside thigh is loaded with sensitive nerve endings. Ouch!

    • Hi swabby: I regret not thinking of that at the time. The subject would likely have brought back fond memories for her. Just thinking about it now gives me the willies. But these younger folks are tough, I figures. I wince to think of getting pierced anywhere, but particularly most places. Gracias, J

  8. Well, my thoughts are: when she finds it necessary to kick ass it is for the benefit of the kicked to read it as a warning. Of course, it may be a little late then. Chuckle. Your reaction proves your a real man, the part about it being worth the five spot. Blessings. M

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s