Monthly Archives: August 2013

Moving the White House and Congress to Disneyland – A serious proposal

Hi readers.

Representative democracy isn’t working and pretty well everyone knows it.  Potential voters aren’t interestedand most don’t even recognize the costumes candidates wear to disguise themselves.  Citizens have learned from hard experience that they can vote for Snuffy Smith, L’il Abner or Joe Palooka and they still end up with Daddy Warbucks.

Moving the seat of the US government to Disneylandwould go a long way toward correcting that.  Everyone would know the candidates, known them all their lives.   A vote for Mickey Mouse or Goofy wouldn’t get you Scrooge McDuck in the White House.  Everyone is honest in Disneyland, and you get what you pay for.  Drucilla doesn’t get any glass slippers, Chittychittybangbang doesn’t have an atomic warhead and the Lady and the Tramp are all right there where everyone can see the fire hydrants.

The other advantage is that the Powerball Lottery HQ is right there in Orlando, close enough to move the IRS in there with them and do something about how the government can raise money on a more even-handed basis.  They could have billion dollar jackpots and just end their foreign wars a day earlier to pay off the winners.  Hell, everyone would be buying tickets.  And they wouldn’t gripe about doing it.

They could have a drawing every day giving away a billion dollars, all the while cutting off one day in the distant future when they’d end the wars overseas, bring the troops home.  It would assure that someday the past would catch up with the future and voila!  No more foreign military adventures!

Mary Poppins would make one hell of a lot better president than any we’ve had since wossname, Washington.

Old Jules

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A better way – Getting new royalty when the President croaks

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.  Not all of this is humor.

Must have been November, 1962, election day in Massachusetts though we didn’t know it.  Three young GIs in uniform, Tony Bozza, Julio Ditata and I were off work.  We lived in a brownstone house converted to apartments on Beacon Street, so we wandered over to an ice-cream joint on Boylston Street across from Boston Plaza.

As we finished off our ice cream we saw police cordoning off Boylston Street, people drifting in behind them.  Something was happening so we rushed out for a front-line position.  Asked one of the cops what was going on.

King/President Kennedy was in town.  Came to vote for his brother for the Senate.  Maybe State Senate.  I can’t recall for certain.  JFK was going to stay at the Plaza Hotel across the street.  “Salute when he drives by!”  He scowled at our uniforms.  [In those days the military was appropriately recognized as shit.  Nobody saying, “OOOOO thank you for your service”.]

Eventually along came the limo, JFK sitting up on the back the way you’ve seen his picture in Dallas a year later.  He was patting his cheeks red with the cold.  Barbie, Jackie, whatever, was sitting down closest us gazing vacantly at the admirers lining the street, bored.  No further than from here to the door from us.

After the motorcade passed and circled over to the Plaza Hotel across the Plaza the cluster of admirers thinned and another incident happened I’ll tell you about another time.  But we GIs all looked at one another shaking our heads.

Julio:  Man I’d like to screw her!

Tony:  Fat chance of that!  She wouldn’t screw anyone with less than a million dollars.

Me:  Felt good looking at her, though.  Pretty woman.

A year later I was in Korea when Kennedy went to Dallas and LBJ arranged to have him offed.  The Stars and Stripes newspaper was full of pictures of LBJ, Barbie-Jackie, Kennedy in the back of that limo.  I thought a lot about that day in Boston.

LBJ stayed out of the backs of open limousines, but more importantly, nobody would have wanted to screw Lady Byrd Johnson.

Fact is, the historical precedent has worked fairly well.  If a King dies, his Queen takes over things until other kinfolk can fight it out and settle things.  And if Barbie-Jackie Kennedy had been vice president and taken over the White House things would have been a lot more better for the US.

LBJ would never have been VP never been prez because nobody would have wanted to risk having Lady Byrd for prez.  The Gulf of Tonkin Incident and the Vietnam War would have never happened.

Hell, when Ma Ferguson took over as Governor of Texas after her husband died she pardoned half the people serving time in Texas penal institutions.  Hell of a lot better Guv than her hubby.

And one of the US Prezes, maybe Taft, became incapacitated in office, his wife took over his duties for the remainder of his term.  Didn’t feel obliged to get us into a single damned war.

I’m sitting here trying to think of some Vice President we wouldn’t have been better off replacing with the wife of the croaked prez.  Elleanor Roosevelt surely wouldn’t have been a bad’un compared to Harry Truman.  And hell, Mary Todd Lincoln was conducting seances in the White House.  That would certainly have been better than Johnston, who got himself impeached.

I haven’t looked at the others, but I’m betting the same would be true, their wives better than their legal VP replacements.

But nowadays they’d need to be good looking, as well as rich girlygirls graduated from Vassar.  Barbie’s good compared to Ken, but if Barbie and Ken go to the White House again we’ll need to know how she looks in a bikini.

Old Jules

You couldn’t make this crap up

  1. Guy in the US White House trying to come up with a time since the Revolutionary War when France wasn’t a liability for its allies,
  2. China prohibiting reincarnation without government permission,
  3. Circus Clown muscle man Putin, Poooootin, Russian Some-Damned-Thing-or-Other, flexing his muscles wanting to arm wrestle someone.  Threatening, I’m not BSing you, to bomb Saudi Arabia?
  4. Female women in the US seriously and with straight faces discussing Hillary Freaking Clinton as a candidate for US President????
  5. Some bunch of yokels comparing themselves to the Boston Tea Party doers, carrying signs and pretending to have read the US Constitution?  Wanting more of what the guy before this one gave International Bankers and Corporations, WMDs, and everyone else who flies First Class when they travel???
  6. Another bunch of kneejerks looking the other way every time another lie comes out of the mouth of this White House guy, then praising him?
  7. Did I mention Hillary Clinton?

It’s almost enough to make me question representative democracy.

Old Jules

Is it wrong to allow millions of wild-eyed religious fanatic lunatics to slaughter one another?

Fact is we can’t stop them.  They all think they have a hotline to God, or Allah.

The Israeli part is so self-consumed it let 2000 years slip by without noticing, then came trotting back thinking the property they used to own still belonged to them.  The Muslims sure-as-hell hate the Israeli ones, but they also hate one-another in-between times enough to make up for anything lost in the process.

Heck, maybe they’re all correct in their thinking.  I’d sure as hell hate to have any of them for neighbors, though I’d have to be closer to the issue to know whether I’d want to kill them.  I can sympathize with each group over there, though, and understand how they’d want to kill off all the others.  Not because of what they believe doctrinally, but because of what they are.

What they are is a geographic conglomeration of kill crazy fanatics who have oil everyone used to need.

But everyone doesn’t need to need the lunatic oil source anymore.  Recent oil discoveries just under Texas, alone, are enough to supply all the US energy needs, and the discoveries under the rest of the US should be able to supply the rest of the world.

No need to wring our hands about what the oil Sheiks  and Chosen people do to one another.  Just back off and let them do it.

If they want to get along with one another they can do it.  Hell, they all come out of the same gene pool.  They’re distant family.

But if they don’t want to get along, if they’d rather slaughter one another, and if no outsiders can ‘understand’ why enough to think of a way to stop them, is it wrong to allow them to do it?  Stay out of the troubles they’ve made for themselves?  Just let them settle the whole thing with a giant orgasm of bloodshed?

And is it wrong to believe it would be a relief to no longer have to hear, or think about them.  Is it wrong to think maybe the rest of the world could get along peacefully if the Middle East were voluntarily and enthusiastically de-populated by its inhabitants?

Is it wrong that it’s actually a soothing, peaceful thought the world would have that particular brand of bullshit behind it?

Old Jules

Tagged:  middle east, Muslims, Jews, oil, war, energy

Intelligent, peace loving non-Zionist Jews – Maybe the only hope for Israel

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

One of the tragedies of the modern-day Israel is that it’s succeeded in riding the German holocaust and exploiting that tragedy in such a way as to allow accusations of anti-Semitism whenever anyone criticizes Israel.  The only people exempt from this manipulation and guilt mongering are Jewish.  The sane ones living all over the world who haven’t fallen into the pit of Zionist self-aggrandizing devil-take-the-hindmost NAZI land grabbing and war mongering.

Nobody wants to see Israel destroy itself.  Nobody wants to see it manipulate the US and other powerful allies into wars among themselves for the ultimate ‘benefit’ of Israel, a few more yards or miles of Zionist-occupied territory.

All over the world Jews have demonstrated ability in their fields, have become vital and valid parts of the countries they occupy.  Many of those Jews are as critical and horrified by the behavior of Zionists as non-Jewish peace-minded people.

But those sane Jews have an advantage no non-Jewish person can exploit.  They could approach the people in power in the US and other countries where they reside and point out the disaster Israel is in the Middle East.  And Zionists couldn’t accuse them of being anti-Semitic, as they do all other comers.

Sane Jews everywhere could pressure their governments to cease providing military aid to Israel until the Zionists agree to make honest efforts toward peace with their neighbors.  Until they withdraw from territories and real estate they have no business occupying.  Until they get rid of the nuclear weapons they’ve acquired.  And until they cease rocket-rattling and tend their own affairs.

Hopefully eventually Jews who are just regular people will be able to recognize they’re the only ones who can do it.  Maybe they can save Israel from destroying itself through bronze-age zealotry.  Maybe Masada won’t have to fall again to bring some peace and quiet to the Middle East.

Old Jules

Tagged: Zionism, Zionist, Israel, Jews, religion, politics, Middle East, Masada, anti-Semitism

‘Need’ a woman for president? No. We need a trans-sexual for president

Hi readers.

Sitting in the $5 [for seniors] pizza buffet joint in Kerrville last trip I couldn’t help overhearing a conversation between several young women in the next booth.  They were agreeing among themselves that the US needs a woman in the White House.  Evidently it’s a matter of a woman would do things a man of whatever ethnic group wouldn’t.  They didn’t go into what that might be.

But as the conversation developed it was clear they were unanimous on the identity of the woman of choice.  Hillary Clinton.  Whew.  Another shot at keeping the US presidency in the hands of people with the same surnames as previous occupants. 

I couldn’t care less what gender the person in the White House is, I thought as I listened.  But I’d sure as hell hate to see the Clinton surname having to my thoughts again.  We’d be landslided with the sexual behaviors of the First Man, and possibly those of the Lady herself.  Probably get Janet Reno back in the Attorney General slot.  Re-open that CIA airstrip in Arkansas to bring in planeloads of cocaine and heroine to be sold down in the hoods.

But if minority status is the perfect criterion for filling the office of president, probably it would be best to check as many boxes as possible at the same time.  Otherwise it will take forever to get it so’s anything can be accomplished.

The next president of the US needs to be able to switch back-and-forth between male and female, for beginners.  His granddad needs to have been black, his mother Asiatic, his father Hispanic.  Which narrows things down a lot when it comes to finding someone to fill the bill.

But in addition, the Trannie in the White House needs to be both handsome and virile, when a man, and sexy, provocative, easy-on-the-eye, when a female.  Needs to give women a thrill, on the one hand, and men erections, on the other.

All things to all people.

The only downside I can think of is probably there are people of that description named Clinton, and Bush, and Kennedy, and Roosevelt. 

Hell you can’t have everything.

Old Jules

Tags: representative democracy, politics, government, gender, human behavior, US President, trans sexual, gender, gender politics, minority, minority politics

Saved by the British? Wow!

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by.

My friend Rich explained on the phone last night that this guy in the White House had his heart set on embarking on a new military adventure.  Wants to bomb the bejesus out of Syria, of all places.  Sounds as though he wants to take a page out of the Bush book and use the second-cousin of WMD to justify it.

But at least the Brits have some questions in their minds left over from the last time they believed a lying US president and got themselves into a stewpot.  Plus, no doubt the ‘What’s in if for me?‘ part of the equation didn’t work out.

Evidently Israel, who probably provided the chemical weapons to the party who used them, and the French are just about the only people in the world with any enthusiasm forselective humanitarianism. 

The Chinese say, “Hey, let’s have a closer look at all this crap and find out whether anyone’s telling the truth about any part of it before we jump in chasing imaginary WMDs.”   Likely the Chinese are well aware of the propensity of US presidents for stretching the truth and trotting off into military interventions, false flag terrorism, and just lying for the sake of lying.  And no doubt they’ve got a fair idea who is hiding next door blowing into the coals of “Let’s you and him fight.”  Probably figuring they might be able to come out of it with a few inadvertent more miles of territory belonging to someone else.

Sheeze.  Sounds as though for once a presidential war might be avoided, and that the Brits might be a crucial part of the reason.

Wonders never cease.  Maybe if everyone but the French can keep their testosteronies under control, and if the Israeli  Security people can’t find an Archduke Ferdinand to off,  WWI can be prevented this time around.

Old Jules

Tags:  Syria, Israel, presidential war, US government, britain, france, WMD, Bush, false flag, chemical weapons, humanitarian