Once again readers, you’re hearing it here first.
Count’em: 190 mg of sodium, total. And it melts in your mouth.
Old Jules
Hi readers. If you own dogs and live inside the United States it’s time to train your dog not to screw anyone’s pantsleg. Today there’s an excellent chance cops will be kicking down your door. If you don’t want them to kill your dog, train him not to sexually harrass police:
“We don’t have to put up with this sort of treatment from dogs,” declared Bracey Goodman, Police Chief of Anal Springs, KY. “During carefully timed and planned raids setting up citizens for drug busts our officers cannot risk being distracted by sex. One dog causing an officer to pause waiting for it to finish could cost the lives of other officers.”
Goodman further explained that police go to a great deal of trouble taking confiscated drugs out of evidence lockers for planting on targeted households. If not intercepted in a timely manner they might be destroyed by suspects, or stolen by officers during the confusion of the bust.
“Anyone who owns a dog is responsible for seeing the animal will not use the leg of a police officer to urinate, or simulate sex. If we kill your dog it’s your own fault.”
Old Jules
Posted in 2014, America, Police, War on Drugs
Tagged animals, canines, culture, dogs, drugs, Human Behavior, humor, law enforement, Life, lifestyle, pets, Police, society, sociology, war on drugs
Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.
The 1970s, pre-US military adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan movie, Caravans, has come to the attention of US military planners. Careful study of the overwhelming success beautiful actress, Jennifer Oneal, had influencing primitive tribesmen to behave themselves suggests new avenues of approach to US militarism.
“Jennifer Oneal was married nine times during her years as an actress. In Caravans she enjoyed huge influence among primitive Moslems. Today a few women of the Jennifer Oneal variety might replace the entire US military presence in Afghaistan.“Female porn stars could probably serve the same real-life function today as Jennifer Oneal with her stunning blue eyes, blonde hair, and nine husbands did back in the 1970s, and the cost would not be prohibitive.“Changing the outdated US conscription statutes to include beautiful females, particularly porn stars, might well be the key to shrinking US military involvement, in most foreign countries. “
Posted in 2014, Military, Movies
Tagged Afghanistan, Caravans, conscription, culture, draft, History, Human Behavior, jennifer oneal, military, moslem, NSA, philosophy, politics, porn stars, pornography, psychology, senior citizens, society, sociology
Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.
As part of an ongoing general reappraisal by Japan about its involvement in WWII, Japan’s Prime Minister Abe announced the Japanese government has confirmed Chinese women present at Nanking during the invasion, “Wanted to have sex with multiple Japanese soldiers,” A recent study, Abe says, found that, “Those were healthy Chinese women who had never encountered men such as our soldiers. There was no Rape of Nanking! Sex between consenting adults is not rape.”
“Chinese women,” Abe recalls his father and grandfather telling him, “Really like it rough!” He shrugged. “I’ve seen it myself on my diplomatic missions to China. The more you force a Chinese woman the better she likes it.”
Abe went on to explain the myths of forced comfort girls from occupied countries was also consensual. “Everywhere Japanese soldiers went the local women naturally wished to have sex with as many as possible. During the post-WWII years this was misconstrued as forced servitude and sexual exploitation. But in fact, the backward peoples all over Asia were the exploiters. They wished to incorporate the superior genes of Japanese men into their local populations. They gladly volunteered their wives, daughters, sisters and strange women for this task.”
Japan is currently formulating a proposal for Asian countries where it enjoys a close familial relationship resulting from Japanese occupation. “The Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere didn’t end because it wasn’t a valid concept,” Abe explained. “It was an idea before its time. Today Vietnam, the Philippines, Laos, Burma, even North Korea would almost certainly welcome Japanese leadership in a Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere.”
Once Japan reevaluated the Post WWII Constitutional Provisions forbidding wars of aggression whole new avenues of thinking became possible. “What went wrong with WWII?” Abe rolled back his eyes and lifted his arms above his head. “The Battle of Midway! Guadalcanal! Bad luck. We should have followed Pearl Harbor with an overwhelming attack on the west coast of the United States!”
Old Jules
Posted in 1940's, 2014, America
Tagged asia, comfort girls, culture, greater east asia co prosperity sphere, History, humor, Japan, military, nanking, philosophy, politics, prime minister abe, psychology, rape, senior citizens, sex, society, sociology, women, WWII
Hi readers. Here’s wishing you a fulfilling independence from having the British for your bosses ordering you around and making you drink their damned tea. If our ancestors hadn’t won their independence from the British we’d have had to fight on their side during WWI and WWII, the way their other colonies did.
Anyway, that WWI museum got me thinking about what GIs used to eat. There was a long shelf of displays of their mess kits, carved fancier than a POW would do. Beautiful designs and artwork produced while their feet were rotting off in trenches between having the bejesus shelled out of them and being sniped at across no-man’s-land.
In Korea, at least in the First Cavalry Division, what we ate in 1963-1964 whenever we were on field rations was all left over from WWII. 1945ish WWII. K Rations.
Breakfast Unit
Canned meat product
Biscuits
Compressed cereal bar
Powdered coffee
Fruit bar
Chewing gum
Sugar tablets
Four cigarettes
Water-purification tablets
Can opener
Wooden spoon
Camp Howze, Korea, had an enormous bunker chock full of K Rations of the nostalgic variety dating from before the Japanese surprised us with a surrender while we still had an atomic bomb and one-hell-of-a-lot of K Rations left. I can testify from personal experience the US Army was patriotic and continued eating those rations 20 years after the premature and cowardly surrender of Japan.
Dinner Unit
Canned cheese product
Biscuits
A candy bar
Chewing gum
Powdered beverage
Granulated sugar
Salt tablets
Cigarettes
Matches
Can opener
Wooden spoon
Our quonsot hut had a corner filled with Ks still in the cartons so we could fill those long winter nights with partying song, beer, and anything worth eating in a crate of Ks.
Supper Unit
Canned meat product
Biscuits
Bouillon powder
Candy
Chewing gum
Powdered coffee
Granulated sugar
Cigarettes
Can opener
Toilet paper
Wooden spoon
The cigarettes in ours weren’t Chesterfields. Ours were Lucky Strikes in a Green package. As in the old radio WWII jingle, “Lucky Strike green has gone to war!” Lucky Strike changed colors after the war to red and white, but Luckies kept right on fighting in green until all those damned Ks were consumed by GIs.
Ahhh. Nothing like sparking up a Lucky out of a carton of Ks, working fast to inhale a little tobacco smoke before it burned down to your fingertips. Those smokes were 20 years old and we never found a way to add enough moisture to keep them smoking instead of burning.
And the chocolate! The godforsaken chocolate turned white with age. We didn’t care. Everything in those Ks got tried and nobody ever died from them. And I never heard of anyone getting drunk from them.
Fact was, a person with extra money could go to the PX and get crackers, but if he did he’d have to share with the whole hooch. Same with sardines. And we had KATUSAs in our hooch. Four of them. Korean Augmentations to the US Army. And those bastards could go through a case of crackers, cans of sardines, quicker than you could make a grab for a can before they were gone.
But even the KATUSAs couldn’t make remarkably short work of a case of Ks. There was always enough for everyone, along with some leftovers to munch on guard duty.
Damn. These modern all-volunteer military guys are spoiled. Except maybe in Korea. Hell, in Korea they might still be eating Ks and wishing to hell the Japanese had gutted out another atomic bomb.
Old Jules
Posted in 1960's, America, Government, History, Military
Tagged 1st Cavalry Division, atomic bomb, Camp Howze, cold war, History, Human Behavior, humor, Japanese, K rations, Korea, military, miscellaneous, musings, rations, Reflections, senior citizens, society, sociology, US Army, WWII
Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.
Once it became obvious the Olathe Medical Center Cardiac Physical Therapy folks weren’t opening the doors on Independence Day, I knew I was in trouble. Felt the pressure building, depression setting in. Scurried around searching under things for anti-depressant drugs, then remembered I’ve never had any of those.
Hell, here the colonies declare themselves free to select their own masters instead of the British ones who’d been turning up their noses for so long, and the hired help start wanting holidays to celebrate having a different set of masters.
And here my old ticker I’m trying to persuade to kick up the ejection to, say, 20% instead of 10%-and-some-change is whining and complaining that I’m not lifting a finger to help it along. Heart muscle giving winks and nods to the defibrillator, whispering to the lungs and arteries that I’m a lazy, no-good-for-nuthun slacker wastrel.
Obviously I couldn’t sit still for that. If I’m ever going to climb any more mountains, if I’m going to find the Lost Adams Diggings, damn me, I’m going to have to do physical therapy whether the hospital is shut down, or whether the whole bunch is out there eating hot dogs and popping fireworks.
So I joined the Olathe Community Center gym for a month. Went down there early this morning, walked around acting like real people, mounted a walking machine and walked the hell out of things. Wandered over to the weight machines and humped my upper body a while whoopteedoo. Walked around the track looking down on pee-filled hot tubs and swimming pools, looking out windows into the parking lot, at pictures hung on the walls.
Sagged to my knees and breathed a while, telling the bastards who were asking if I was okay to mind their own damned business. Piss me off.
Feeling pretty groovy, all things considered.
Old Jules
Tagged culture, exercise, fitness, gym, Health, humor, Kansas, Life, lifestyle, olathe, physical therapy, psychology, senior citizens, society, sociology
Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.
Back before Rodney King started it all and cameras everywhere, combined with YouTube as a venue for rendering it public, we all had an excuse. Almost an obligation. The function of society required we believe in the United States police corruption, aggressive, illegal behavior, planting evidence, blindered pursuit of targets without regard for evidence to the contrary, was rare.. Drug use on duty and unprovoked violence against suspects rare exceptions.
We can still believe that if we wish, but it’s more difficult today. YouTube is out there catching the law enforcement community in the act of being itself. Damning the whole with the broad brush of individuals performing every breach of minimum behavioral standards expected for public employees of any sort. But especially those where public trust is a necessary ingredient.
How can a jury unanimously agree to send a defendant to prison if every word a law enforcement officer utters under oath is suspect? Might as well as not be pure falsehood? If every piece of evidence presented stands an equal possibility of having been manufactured or planted by investigating officers? When juries become aware police are as prone to bald faced lying as they, themselves [jury members] are prone to self-serving falsehoods, convicting anyone of a crime without prima faci evidence is troublesome.
But I’ve digressed. It’s happening everywhere, and while the movie industry used to treat the subject with sinister frowns in Serpico and hundreds of other cop corruption movies, eventually Naked Gun 2 and ilk was inevitable. Airplane made it so.
Naked Gun 2 was a fun piece of work, but the US movie industry was too long-delayed in following it up with replacement of all those solemn, straight-faced cop movies with something nearer reality: farce. But outside the US the movie industry wasn’t shy.
Along comes Torrente. Unless you understand Portuguese you’ll have to read subtitles, but it’s a laugh a minute.
Tagged culture, History, Human Behavior, humor, Law Enforcement, Life, movies, philosophy, Police, police corruption, politics, portugal, psychology, society, sociology
Posted in 2014, Adventure, America
Tagged Asian, comedy, culture, entertainment, foreign, Human Behavior, humor, Life, lifestyle, movies, philosophy, psychology, senior citizens, slapstick, society, sociology
Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.
Yesterday I rammed my way through physical therapy and came away feeling like a million bucks a hundred bucks. When I arrived back at Jeanne’s house I had life left in me I hadn’t squandered yet, so we decided to brave the heat and visit the National WWI Museum. The day was warm, but a lot cooler than the average first week of July would have a person expecting.
Anyway, that museum is impressive. Didn’t attempt to dream up any serious rationale for that war having been justified in any way. On the part of any of the parties involved. Didn’t do any more flag waving than old propaganda posters high enough on the walls so’s a person had to stretch the neck to view them. And some were in French, German.
Sure, they did have a copy of the Zimmerman telegram on display, translated. But nobody trying to keep a straight face saying it justified the US entering the blood bath. Too much has happened since then to allow any rosy cheekism on that score. Been far too many Zimmerman telegrams written in US English over the century since.
What they did do was display roughly a thousand small arms, hand grenades, field artillery, aircraft, mortars, vehicles and several thousand photographs. Firearms were redundant and soon became a blur. A home made reproduction of shell crater 20 feet deep with a lot of war debris in it was graphic, made for a nice demo. Peep holes into trenches watching men doing war things in trenches also. The kids visiting loved it, and I didn’t think it was the worst way to get across a concept that is WWI.
Reminded me vaguely of a cross between the Empirial War Museum in the old Bedlam Hospital for the mentally ill in London, and the Admiral Nimitz Museum of the Pacific War in Kerrville, Texas [before Texas Parks and Wildlife took it over and ruined it]. Which puts it up there head and shoulders above most museuems I’ve ever visited.
No RARARAH we’uns won flagwaving Hurray for the US patriotic idiosyncracies, no hint any lives given weren’t entirely in vain, was pleasant. And there were maps on the walls allowing you to examine how many countries all over the world were dragged into the bloodbath by the mere misfortune of being part of the British Empire. How many because they were part of the French Empire, etc etc etc [in the manner of the King of Siam].
Seems to me the yardstick that fit best serves is that repeatedly inside in front of displays and later as we left, Jeanne remarked. “This was worth it. I’m glad we did this.” Jeanne has zero interest in wars, WWI, anything of that sort.
It was worth it. I’m glad we did it, too.
Old Jules
Tagged culture, Events, History, Human Behavior, humor, Kansas City, lifestyle, philosophy, politics, psychology, society, sociology, WWI, wwi museum
Hi readers. This town where Jeanne lives and I currently reside on her couch gave me a strange arrangement of ponderings yesterday. I knew my physical therapy at the hospital will be fading in July. By coincidence the Olathe Community Center is opening, and I’d heard it would include exercise machines, etc.
By golly I don’t ignore coincidence. Figured I could buzz over there three times a week as long as I’m here, work out, maybe connect with local seniors to play some chess, chew the fat, exchange low sodium recipes. Old guys did those things on the Courthouse lawn when I was a kid, playing dominoes and spitting tobacco. A piece of getting old.
To my surprise, that new Olathe Community Center is a bastion of healthiness, classes on Zombi or somesuch dancing, Yoga, big TV screens people can watch while stationary biking. A room full of water capable of being peed into from everywhere within 100 yards any direction. Maybe a hundred walking machines, weight machines, and combinations of all three.
And for kids? Wow. Two story water slide indoors with signs saying they don’t want heart patients [me] using it. Piss on them. I’ll use that thing if I want to.
Because in that entire enormous structure there is not one, not one single item specifically intended to be used by the elderly. Not one ping-pong table, for that matter, to allow fast action small area activities, either.
I’d been casually searching for some while for a Senior Citizen Center in Olathe. There ain’t one, even though the senior population here’s quite large. Closed down a couple of years ago when the city sold the building, never reopened somewhere else.
Fairly strange. A rich, rich, how you say, affluent community here with a large area of old, low-income houses in the older part of town inhabited by lower middle class non-upwardly mobile working-class scum and senior citizens. And that new community center forgot they exist.
Hell, every tiny community everywhere has a Senior Citizen Center, or failing that, a pantheon of senior activities incorporated into the local community center. Andrews, Texas, out on the high plains desert has a big one. Half deserted towns all over Texas and New Mexico dying of thirst and hunger have one thing left functioning: Senior Citizen Centers.
And this beautiful old farming community that’s become the home of thousands of high-income soccer and tennis playing SUV driving tofu eating Kansas Citians during the past 20 to 30 years has the singular distinction of having nothing of the sort.
Jeanne’s jobs are over in the neighborhood of Lenexa. Another grown-over KC bedroom community. And when she got tired of my berating Olathe regarding the new Community Center and the implied attitude toward senior citizens she took me over there. They’ve got a center about the size of one in Zuni, New Mexico, or Andrews, Texas. About the size of each of the three in Kerrville, Texas.
Fine people over there in Lenexa. We got there around noon, just looking around. Maybe fifty people hanging around in there chewing the fat. A lady running the place came up, introduced herself, showed us around. Full of enthusiasm, got more programs going on than you could shake a stick at. Even computers, computer instruction.
I asked about chess. “We don’t have a chess program, but we can! You can be the first one to get it started!” Turns out they have a couple of exercise machines, too. ping-pong table’s next door at the ‘regular people [read upwardly mobile SUV driving, tofu eating] living in Lenexa.
Well, they ain’t new, and they ain’t as close as the brand spanking new shiny Olathe Community Center full of water sports and rosy-cheeked mamas with healthy white kids screaming their heads off. But if I’m around here a while and decide to do anything senior citizen-wise, I have a feeling I’ll either try out Lenexa or go another few miles out and do it in a place where they still have real people driving 15-year-old pickups.
If such places still exist.
Might even swing over into Missouri, where they remember what Jayhawk meant back when it actually meant something. Lots of little towns over that way still no further than this from the VA Medical Center. I’m betting they have senior citizen centers, too.
Not to say it’s a big item for me. I honestly don’t like senior citizens all that much. Too opinionated, though not as bad as younger people. But old folks tend to be fairly obnoxious, on the whole. I don’t blame Olathe Parks and Recreation Department for trying to forget they exist. Old bastards need to check in at the Emergency Room down at the City Morgue.
Old Jules
Posted in 2014, America, Senior Citizens
Tagged culture, economy, environment, Human Behavior, humor, Kansas, ks, Lenexa, Life, lifestyle, olathe, olathe community center, philosophy, senior center, senior citizens, society, sociology
74 years old, a resident of Leavenworth, KS, in an apartment located on the VA campus. Partnered with a black shorthaired cat named Mister Midnight. (1943-2020)
Since April, 2020, this blog is maintained by Jeanne Kasten (See "About" page for further information).
https://sofarfromheaven.com/2020/04/21/au-revoir-old-jules-jack-purcell/
So Far From Heaven 