Tag Archives: humor

Hell, no wonder I can’t freaking breath! Damned hole in the ozone layer plugged up my nostrils.

This is actually good news. I thought something was going wrong with my health.

Old Jules

I took a leak beside Jesse Jackson

Hi readers.  New Orleans, maybe 1987, somewhere in there.  The year Jesse Jackson ran for Prez.  I was there for the American Public Health Association Convention and Jesse [I figure we’re close enough now so’s I can call him Jesse] was speaking at the next session.  But right now there was a General Assembly and all that dreary nap-taking I’d slipped away from.

So there I was, standing in front of a urinal in the New Orleans Convention Center and two giant black guys step up behind me, tell me I’ve got to get out-the-restroom.  I scowl and tell them I’ll be gone in a sec, but trying to speed the process wouldn’t help.

One of them touched my arm and I explained, while still occupied below, I wasn’t looking for sex.  I mentioned it because a lot of attendees at the APHA that year were definitely looking for sex in the restrooms.  They were giving away rubbers on the Exhibit Area booths and people were running back and forth from the rubber exhibits to the restroom stalls to try them out.

The black guy in a suit I’d just explained about not looking for sex to paused a moment and seemed to debate what to do next when Jesse Jackson stepped up, patted him, grinned at me, and told him, “It’s all right.  I got to piss!”

From that time until this I’ve always considered myself something of an expert on racial relations.

Anyway, I just want to say, I think Jesse would have stood up better under scrutiny if he’d stayed the hell out of Ferguson, him and Al Sharpton, both.

Everyone else who doesn’t live there, also.

Fact is, this is going to run the whole course, due process is going to see the light of day.  It’s too big and too widespread for anyone to sweep it under the carpet.

Due process.  Which is the best anyone can hope for.  Nobody knows precisely what happened, nobody’s seen all the evidence, and no good will come from any of us trying to second guess it now.  It is no longer our affair.

You, and Jesse Jackson, and I, and everyone else probably don’t need to be trying the almost certainly guilty-as-hell cop on the Internet.  A jury is going to do that.  Plenty of admissible evidence will come forward and some sort of justice will be done, one-way-or-the-other.  It’s how America works.

And if they turn him loose even under national scrutiny the folks in Ferguson can hunt him down and lynch him.  It’s how things have been done throughout American history whenever the law didn’t properly atone for the sins where racial matters are involved.

The tail end of due process, more-or-less.

Old Jules

Is Ferguson Missouri a Hoax??

Chimp-Out in Ferguson Missouri

New video from Ferguson Missouri shooting death of Michael Brown – LoneWolf Sager

New Ferguson Missouri Witness, Has Different Version! MVI 3163

Another WITNESS To Michael Brown SHOOTING Comes Forward; Video Shows GRAPHIC Scene!!

Witness Gives Chilling Details On The Execution Of Mike Brown

Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson Booed Off Stage in Ferguson Missouri

Niger Innis calls Sharpton, Jackson, and New Black Panthers ‘Racial Arsonists’

That way lies madness: Sandy Hook conspiracy hoax

Theater shooter actors linked to Sandy hook actors- Exposed As a Fraud

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

I first encountered crisis actors as a concept back in New Mexico in Emergency Management.  When we, or local governments would perform disaster exercises there’d always have to be victims, people to pretend to be crying bystanders, whatever.  Volunteers, mostly.

But we program managers with Emergency Management Planning and Coordination Bureau [EMPAC] attended a lot of conferences and watched a lot of disaster films.  And we often joked that the crying victims of hurricanes, tornado victims in front of destroyed trailer houses in the midwest, and earthquake victims in California all appeared to be the same people.  When we’d view the films one-right-after-another I swear they were identical!

I hadn’t thought about that in a long time.  But then I stumbled across a series of YouTube videos about Sandy Hook, about which I knew only fragments, and discovered there’s a host of people who believe the massacre in that school was a hoax.  And furthermore, they construct logical arguments based on apparently sound evidence.

After watching some of the videos it’s clear crisis actors and their use has become a lot more sophisticated and manipulative.  And that, by doing so, [provided it’s not actually a hoax] they play directly into the hands of those who build the case supporting the hoax suppositions.

The problem with anything as pervasive as this is:  it leaves nothing intact.  Once a person accepts the premise a conspiracy of this size could exist, anything is possible, everything is quicksand.

What’s disturbing, or would be disturbing if I gave a damn, is the fact nobody’s bothering to answer the questions the hoax-believers are asking.  The claims they are making should be easy enough, incredibly simple to disprove.

I’m not referring to blanket-scoffing, ad hominin disclaimers.  The thing’s gone far enough so’s, “You must be crazy!” or “What have you been smoking?” aren’t sufficient.  Brushing aside legitimate holes in the official version of the story only lends itself to more conviction on the side of those teetering near belief.

Which lends strength to my kung fu approach to the puzzle:  I don’t give a damn.  I don’t dare give a damn.  And if I did dare give a damn I’d have to question my sanity.

Old Jules

LISTEN UP!!! SANDY HOOK HOAX NON-BELIEVERS! April 1st 2013 (NO JOKE)

The walking dead spotted aimlessly walking in circles at Sandy Hook.

Both Lanza ID’s are the same 100% Proof

Annie (Anne) Haddad was Playing Nancy Lanza? Looks Like It.

New Sandy Hook Photos Reveal Adam Lanza is Fake

Adam into Ryan into Adam into Ryan Lanza – Sandy Hook Hoax

Adam Lanza Didn’t Commit Suicide-Sandy Hook Lie Exposed

Appears Adam Lanza Is Still Alive

Sandy Hook Teacher Kaitlin Roig is really actress Rebekah Fernandez

The Laura Phelps Jennifer Sexton Test – Sandy Hook Hoax

Walking in Circles Around Sandy Hook Firehouse

The Sandy Hook Actors, “Do You Want Me To Read The Card?”

Crisis actress” BUSTED: Adriana Victoria Muñoz fully EXPOSED!!!!!

Crisis Actor – Sandy Hook, Boston Marathon and NOW Syria

Raw Helicopter Footage before? Fake? ‘Sandy Hook Shooting’ Started! Crisis Actors in a Bad Drill?

Why People Think Sandy Hook is A Hoax

Crisis Actors Used at Sandy Hook! Special Report

EMS on Scene Kelly Burton – Sandy Hook Hoax

Sandy Hook – Billionaire Thinks “Hoax Is Falling Apart”

OMG! SANDY HOOK KIDS ALIVE CLEAR EVIDENCE!!!

Detailed Outside Sandy Hook pictures. Mold, weeds, hanging wires, windows covered up, no buzzer

Who are the Sandy Hook Truthers?

Sandy Hook ‘Truthers’ Claim Newtown Tragedy Was a HOAX!

Noah Pozner Still Alive SANDY HOOK RIPPED APART School Shooting Newtown HOAX FRAUD

Nick and Laura Phelps Exposed as Sandy Hook Actors

Sandy Hook Actors Exposed – Meet Gene Rosen

Sandy Hook Hoax-Mattioli Spills the Beans

 

 

Time Traveler President of the US in 2016

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a reead.

I began watching this stuff a couple of days ago when I experienced a setback in my physical situation and couldn’t do my daily exercize routines without undoing a lot else.  So to pass the time I began browsing through the YouTube pantheon of weirdness.

Interestingly, Andrew Basiago’s arrived amidst a forest of familiar trees.  He says the was trained for the Pegasus Project by Ed Danes, whom I’d read because of flirting with remote viewing a decade or more ago.  And Pegasus mightn’t have been headquartered at Socorro, New Mexico, where I lived from 1995 until 1999, but it had a presence there.  Back when during the late 1990s Mel King and I were attempting to build a time machine, reading about Montauk and anything else we could find about time travel.  Pegasus came up a fair amount.

I hadn’t thought about any of that for what?  Decades?  At least a good many years.  So I was surprised to find myself listening to this guy and watching videos of him talking about some ground I once covered as thoroughly as I felt able.

He says Ed Danes told him back in the 1970s he was going to be President, though maybe not immediately following his fellow Pegasus member, the guy in the White House now.  [Who was also told by Ed Danes at that same time, he would serve as President.  The White House guy now, we’re told, was also a Pegasus operative.]

So, while I don’t vote, couldn’t care less who sits in the White House, and probably won’t live to see who wins the next Presidential election anyway, I find the entire subject interesting enough to occupy a few minutes of my diminishing sand from the top of the hourglass.

Good for some smiles and knowing I ain’t going to vote anyway it’s good to know there’s a candidate at least as unlikely as my own life has been.  He carries a heavy advantage in my view by not being Democrat, nor Republican, nor Independent.  That offsets almost anything else he isn’t.  Including sane, if he happens not to be.

And if, as he asserts, the guy in the White House now has traveled in time and has visited our colony on Mars, hell, it might explain a lot.

Somewhat mildly exciting in an abstract sort of way.

Old Jules

Gun Hill Road and Orange is somethingorother Black

Hi readers.  Jeanne doesn’t watch movies much but someone told her I might enjoy some made-for-Netflix movie about women in a prison facility.  Which I figured what the hell, might as well try it.  Which I did.  I’ve been known to watch and enjoy a chick flick and if the chicks are all in prison it might still be interesting.

Orange Is the New Black

2013-2014TV-MASeason 2 Now Available A dozen Emmy Award nominations went to this acclaimed comedy drama series including Outstanding Comedy Series, Outstanding Writing and Outstanding Lead Actress for star Taylor Schilling. A crime she committed in her youthful past sends Piper Chapman (Schilling) to a women’s prison, where she trades her comfortable New York life for one of unexpected camaraderie and conflict in an eccentric group of fellow inmates.

Fact is when I worked in Santa Fe with the Emergency Management Bureau we had some female prisoners working in our offices for a while, cleaning up and polishing our non body parts.  But they started stealing so much when nobody was looking it became too much a pain in the ass to have them around.

Then, in Grants, when I was working for the motel.  We had some female prisoners cleaning the rooms for a while.  But they began selling sexual favors to anyone who’d pay, began screwing the motel manager until he was too exhausted to allow them around anymore.  The regular female employees who usually filled his sexual needs began feeling neglected.  So Orange whatchallit got my attention briefly.

I skipped over all the lingering chickflickisms, the slow motion leading-up-to-sex scenes, the flashbacks of flashbacks of flashbacks.  The titillating leading-up-to lesbian stuff I also found I could skip past.

Which left approximately 10 minutes of viewing pleasure for this episode of Orange is somethingorother.

But Netflix, because I’d watched it, recommended Gun Hill Road.

Gun Hill Road 2011 R 86 minutes Enrique returns home from three years in prison to find his wife is a virtual stranger and his son is in the throes of a sexual identity crisis. More Info Starring: Esai Morales, Judy Reyes Director: Rashaad Ernesto Green

A decent sort of guy gets out of the slammer and finds his wife is on the rebound from an affair.  Handles it fairly well.  Gets a job.  Handles it less well when he discovers his eldest son is one of those other kinds of guys.  Wears sexy female attire and whatnot.

At that point I debated whether I wanted to watch any more of it, but while I was pondering the question the son began smooching with another character in the movie and feeling around, unzipping his trousers.

Soooooo.  I’m not anti-Semitic about that sort of thing.  Don’t even care if my brother marries one.  Or my sister, for that matter.

But that isn’t the same as saying I want to see a lot of details of what they do to one another working up to the other stuff they do to one another.

I’m old fashioned that way.

Old Jules

2010 Space Odyssey Two – Arthur C. Clarke

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

2014 is a good year to read 2010 Space Odyssey Two so’s to help get a better perspective when you read 2061 Odyssey Three.  I’ve got 2001 Space Odyssey sitting over there asking itself why I haven’t re-read it, prior to launching into 2010.  I haven’t confided to it that it’s just too damned far off the mark and leaves me pondering whether it was pure BS.  I was a bit distracted in 2001 because of Y2K, but I’m inclined to think 2001 Space Odyssey and 1984 by George Orwell might have shared some chronological disorders.

Anyway, Clarke’s 2010, published in 1982, at least has briefcase computers.  That’s an encouraging sign.  And although men haven’t ventured beyond the moon, nor even as far as the moon in a longish while, they’re back to discussing the possibility of going to Mars, or maybe an asteroid or comet.  Humanity decided somewhere back in the late-1970s that the moon wasn’t worth the price of admission.  They’ve shot a lot of rocketships at it, set of a bomb trying to find water, but the moon has proved to be more profitable as an abstraction than a reality.  Heck, people have made more money off the moon singing, recording, writing songs about it than they’ve managed to do sending rocketships to it.  Even movies.  There’s been more money made from movies about the moon and about people going to the moon, than from people actually doing it.

So while 2010 Odyssey Two is a fun, interesting and imaginative read by a fine author, it doesn’t recommend itself well under comparisons to reality as we mostly believe we’ve experienced it, or know of other humans experiencing it.

Planet of the Apes is a lot more accurate in that regard.  I don’t know how the hell Planet of the Apes managed to happen right here under our noses without me noticing it before.  But hell, there it is.  Spang spread out all over the planet.  Russian apes killing wossname, Ukraine apes, Syrian apes killing other Syrian apes, Iraq apes, Israel apes killing Palestine apes, Chinese apes killing India Indian apes, African apes killing other African apes, and US apes indiscriminately killing all but Israeli ones.  Which establishes who the real Chosen apes are.

Arthur C. Clarke should have anticipated Planet of the Apes and written about it.  Then he wouldn’t have to be consigned to the Nostradamus and George Orwell stream of close-but-no-cigar prognostications.

Old Jules

 

World’s Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises

International titans of industry, media, and politics examine one another’s genitals.

The Onion NewsPoliticsISSUE 46•46Nov 17, 2010

http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-power-brokers-hold-annual-summit-where-they,18474/

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world’s most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.

This year’s meeting was chaired by a committee that included Rupert Murdoch, former U.S. national security adviser Brent Scowcroft, oil heir David H. Koch, and Japanese finance minister Yoshihiko Noda, all of whom presided over the traditional penis-showing ceremony that has for decades been a banner event for the most influential international power brokers.The resort where the conference was held.

“I always look forward to this crucial and productive gathering,” said industrialist and banker Jacob Wallenberg of the Swedish Wallenbergs, a prominent European family that has wielded significant clout in global financial and political affairs for more than two centuries. “To see the penises of so many like-minded, forward-thinking men and to show them my own penis—this is what keeps the global wheels of industry and ingenuity turning.”

“After all, these are inarguably the most important penises of our time,” Wallenberg added before unzipping his tuxedo pants and heading back into a scrum of other immensely powerful and wealthy men already gazing contemplatively at one another’s exposed genitalia.

As it does every year, the ceremony followed a strict a system of seniority wherein members first reveal their sex organs to the seated committee and assembled invitees before the floor is opened up for general penis exposition. The honor of the showing of the first penis this year was given to billionaire real estate mogul Leonard Litwin, 95, the oldest member in attendance.

The penis of Pope Benedict XVI.

The annual penis-showing summit has a rich history, having first been held in 1957 at a Lake Tahoe chateau owned by American banker David Rockefeller, Sr. of the hugely influential six-generation Rockefeller oil dynasty. According to Rockefeller, the gathering was born of the simple idea that “the people who hold the most sway over the direction of world affairs ought naturally to have some sense of what each other’s penises look like.”

Since that time, power brokers from every continent—including people from backgrounds as widely varied as Hollywood film producer Robert Evans and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein—have attended the summit to see other great men’s penises and to put their own penises on display.

“As the most junior invitee, when I had to stand in the middle of the ballroom and rotate slowly to show everyone my exposed penis after everyone else had showed theirs, there was a palpable sense of the history of all the great men’s penises that have been presented here over the years,” 26-year-old billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said. “And of course, to have my penis seen by luminaries such as [Russian prime minister] Vladimir Putin and [Saudi] King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud is just such an honor.”

“It really makes you feel like you’re having a major impact on the world,” added Zuckerberg, the tip of his penis just peeking out from beneath a crisply starched white dress shirt.

Commenting on the tradition they hold in solemn regard, many in attendance said they view the summit primarily as a meeting of great minds, and then the showing to each other of the penises of the men who possess those great minds.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole year since I last saw Warren Buffett’s penis,” Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke said while treating his own penis with a high-quality tea tree oil moisturizer to protect it from chapping in the dry mountain air. “The insight I’ve gained from looking at that man’s penis is immeasurable. It’s just one hell of a penis.”

This year’s event was marred briefly when resort security reportedly had to chase Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and presumptive Speaker of the House John Boehner away from an open window where they were desperately trying to catch a glimpse of the influential penises. However, the unpleasantness was quickly forgotten when, to the awe and delight of all present, billionaire media juggernaut Oprah Winfrey arrived to make the rounds.

Police Officer Doesn’t See A Difference Between Black, Light-Skinned Black Suspects

The Onion – News in BriefpoliceracelawNewsISSUE 50•32Aug 13, 2014

FORT WAYNE, IN—Explaining that his sole concern is serving and protecting his community, Fort Wayne police officer Vincent Turner told reporters Wednesday that he does not see any difference between black and light-skinned black suspects. “As an officer of the law, I am committed to administering justice swiftly and even-handedly, regardless of whether the suspect has dark skin or really dark skin,” said Turner, adding that he has no problem giving a full pat-down to any potential criminal or hauling them down to precinct headquarters in the back of his patrol car, even if they are more of a light mocha color. “When you’re responding to reports of gunshots fired, or sprinting down an alleyway, you’re not thinking about where the suspect falls on the spectrum of African-American skin tones—you’re thinking about doing your job. Heck, the guy could be a very dark-looking Latino, for all I care—I treat every one of them the same. He’s still just a suspect to me.” Turner added that his dedication to upholding the law stems from a belief that all local residents should be able to walk their streets without fear, whether they come from an affluent white neighborhood or a working-class white neighborhood

The dual-citizenship US/Israeli friend to So Far From Heaven

Perhaps you readers will find this anecdote interesting and edifying.  I certainly do.

So Far From Heaven blog has a reader and sometimes commenter who holds dual US/Israeli citizenship.  Not to suggest it’s unusual.  I might be the only US citizen alive who doesn’t hold dual Israeli citizenship.

But this So Far From Heaven reader is special.  Back during the Vietnam War, maybe 1966-67, he adopted Judaism and fled to Israel to avoid the draft.  Became a weaponry salesman for Israel, maybe to Israel, probably helping them furnish weapons for every drug lord in South America.

And a thoroughly interesting, admirably loyal [to Israel] US citizen. http://leanpower.wordpress.com/

Yeah, this guy was a sight to behold back in the day.  Running along the railroad tracks with a backpack full of rocks in training for the Israeli army when he arrived in Israel sometime hence.  He knew if he became an Israeli he’d have to be in the military, but Israel never loses anyone in their wars.

Tens of thousands of casualties in the armed forces the Israeli military attacks by surprise and defeats.  A few hundred Israeli casualties.  Fell off trucks or something, most likely, or accidentally shot themselves.

Look up the statistics on every Israel war if you don’t believe me.  Any one.  Take your pick.  Look at the Israeli casualty counts, and the body counts of the countries they attacked.  Including the USS Liberty.  No Israeli casualties on that surprise attack on a US warship lasting several hours.  Not one.

Obviously our Israeli/US citizen reader/draft-dodger knew that.  He picked a winner for a country he could ‘serve’ in complete safety.  And when it was all over he came back to the Good Old US of A to buy and sell big guns.

They’re everywhere.  Even here on So Far From Heaven.

Old Jules

Damned treadmill distractions

Hi readers.  I was on the treadmill down at the Olathe Community Center around 0530 this morning, walking to New Orleans, Fats Domino style when some guy in an orange jump suite completed the preliminaries to get his head chopped off.  Fairly unexpected thing on my end.  He explained his loss was a consequence of the US foreign policy in the Middle East.

But the guy in the black Ninja-like garb might have coerced him to say that.  Might have told him there were other body parts could be cut off in advance if it weren’t properly explained for viewers.  Afterward he offered up another guy in an orange jump suit and asserted he’d be next, depending on the activities of the US wossname, president in the White House.

Luckily the guy in the Ninja suit spoke with a British accent.  Gives the prez and all the lackeys an opportunity to send a drone to knock off someone we don’t like in the British Isles.  Maybe snag the British Museum and haul it off just to teach them a lesson.

But the fact is, the guy in the orange jumpsuit is probably not in a position to judge who’s at fault for his demise, unless it’s the Ninja.  Nobody ever said running around in pestholes full of poisonous human beings was going to be without some measure of risk.  Maybe it’s his own fault he was there, the orange jump suit guy.  If it was the fault of his government, I hope he had time to ask himself whether the fault existed back before the day he was kidnapped.  And if it did, was he aware of it.  And if he was cognizant of it, was it his own fault he didn’t beat feet out of harms way?  Or was it the fault of a government comprised of scum who aspire to run the United States?

I’m in a mood to say it was his own damned fault.  If he didn’t know it was a good place to get your head chopped off, he should have.

Same with all these damned US troops who reenlist after having gone over there already and seen it if they were too stupid to know before they enlisted the first time.  When one of them gets killed, hell, it ain’t as though he wasn’t asking for it.  Begging for it.

Too bad.  Maybe, though, it’s better in the long run.  The damned human gene pool doesn’t need any more stupidity than it’s already got, with a lion share in governments, pulpits, Pentagon-like places, and the Middle East.

Harmless stupidity takes place in safe environments.  Stupidity that gets people killed gets people killed.  Condolences to the kinfolks and hope you teach your other kids to use their heads instead of getting them chopped off.

Old Jules