Daily Archives: August 21, 2014

World’s Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises

International titans of industry, media, and politics examine one another’s genitals.

The Onion NewsPoliticsISSUE 46•46Nov 17, 2010

http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-power-brokers-hold-annual-summit-where-they,18474/

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world’s most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.

This year’s meeting was chaired by a committee that included Rupert Murdoch, former U.S. national security adviser Brent Scowcroft, oil heir David H. Koch, and Japanese finance minister Yoshihiko Noda, all of whom presided over the traditional penis-showing ceremony that has for decades been a banner event for the most influential international power brokers.The resort where the conference was held.

“I always look forward to this crucial and productive gathering,” said industrialist and banker Jacob Wallenberg of the Swedish Wallenbergs, a prominent European family that has wielded significant clout in global financial and political affairs for more than two centuries. “To see the penises of so many like-minded, forward-thinking men and to show them my own penis—this is what keeps the global wheels of industry and ingenuity turning.”

“After all, these are inarguably the most important penises of our time,” Wallenberg added before unzipping his tuxedo pants and heading back into a scrum of other immensely powerful and wealthy men already gazing contemplatively at one another’s exposed genitalia.

As it does every year, the ceremony followed a strict a system of seniority wherein members first reveal their sex organs to the seated committee and assembled invitees before the floor is opened up for general penis exposition. The honor of the showing of the first penis this year was given to billionaire real estate mogul Leonard Litwin, 95, the oldest member in attendance.

The penis of Pope Benedict XVI.

The annual penis-showing summit has a rich history, having first been held in 1957 at a Lake Tahoe chateau owned by American banker David Rockefeller, Sr. of the hugely influential six-generation Rockefeller oil dynasty. According to Rockefeller, the gathering was born of the simple idea that “the people who hold the most sway over the direction of world affairs ought naturally to have some sense of what each other’s penises look like.”

Since that time, power brokers from every continent—including people from backgrounds as widely varied as Hollywood film producer Robert Evans and the late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein—have attended the summit to see other great men’s penises and to put their own penises on display.

“As the most junior invitee, when I had to stand in the middle of the ballroom and rotate slowly to show everyone my exposed penis after everyone else had showed theirs, there was a palpable sense of the history of all the great men’s penises that have been presented here over the years,” 26-year-old billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said. “And of course, to have my penis seen by luminaries such as [Russian prime minister] Vladimir Putin and [Saudi] King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud is just such an honor.”

“It really makes you feel like you’re having a major impact on the world,” added Zuckerberg, the tip of his penis just peeking out from beneath a crisply starched white dress shirt.

Commenting on the tradition they hold in solemn regard, many in attendance said they view the summit primarily as a meeting of great minds, and then the showing to each other of the penises of the men who possess those great minds.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole year since I last saw Warren Buffett’s penis,” Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke said while treating his own penis with a high-quality tea tree oil moisturizer to protect it from chapping in the dry mountain air. “The insight I’ve gained from looking at that man’s penis is immeasurable. It’s just one hell of a penis.”

This year’s event was marred briefly when resort security reportedly had to chase Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and presumptive Speaker of the House John Boehner away from an open window where they were desperately trying to catch a glimpse of the influential penises. However, the unpleasantness was quickly forgotten when, to the awe and delight of all present, billionaire media juggernaut Oprah Winfrey arrived to make the rounds.

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A less-biased source of Israeli news

Palestinian children collect water in Khan Yunis.

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Luckily, what happens in Israel and Palestine shouldn’t be a concern to US citizens.  It’s none of our business.  Or it wouldn’t be if we in the US weren’t sponsoring the Israeli land grabbing, looting and ravaging of the land next door outside their legal boundaries established by the United Nations and International Law.

But US taxpayers have sent $130 billion dollars, mostly in the form of weapons, to Israel.  And that makes every US citizen somewhat responsible for what Israel does with those weapons.

My personal thought is that I, none of us, can trust most media reports about what’s going on in the Middle East, particularly where Israel is involved.  The US news media has had a love affair with Israel for at least half-century.  They barely reported the Israeli attack on the USS Liberty which lasted several hours and left more than 100 US servicemen as casualties.  The conventional media slanted all reports of the Six Day War and the Yom Kipper War to seem Israel was the defender instead of the country initiating surprise attack.

Israel started every war it has ever fought.  Which has somehow escaped the notice of most of the conventional news media.  And Israel has gobbled up more land outside its borders after every war of Israeli aggression.  And blamed it all on the Arabs.

But I’ve digressed.  I wanted to tell you about a Jewish website where the reporting is evidently somewhat more honest.  Maybe not as good as it could be, but better than anything you are likely to see elsewhere.  They don’t appear to be the usual rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, kill’em all and let God sort them out Zionists, anyway.

Evidently they don’t go overboard with it, any more than Arabs would be likely to get fanatic about accurate and unbiased reporting of events.  But http://www.haaretz.com/news comes nearer to being a source of attempted truthfulness than I’ve found thus far.

Unfortunately they want to charge a buck for access after the first few stories.  Which I have no intention of paying.

It’s entirely possible everyone within the borders of Israel and Palestine is not a lunatic religious fanatic terrorist killer.  But there’s no evidence of the fact manifested in the behavior of Israelis, Palestinians, or dual-citizenship US citizens who march undercover as Israelis disguised as Americans.

Maybe if  http://www.haaretz.com/news was more widely distributed, more readily available to interested non-Jews there’d be a believable side to something Americans hear and see about Israel and Palestine.

Old Jules

Police Officer Doesn’t See A Difference Between Black, Light-Skinned Black Suspects

The Onion – News in BriefpoliceracelawNewsISSUE 50•32Aug 13, 2014

FORT WAYNE, IN—Explaining that his sole concern is serving and protecting his community, Fort Wayne police officer Vincent Turner told reporters Wednesday that he does not see any difference between black and light-skinned black suspects. “As an officer of the law, I am committed to administering justice swiftly and even-handedly, regardless of whether the suspect has dark skin or really dark skin,” said Turner, adding that he has no problem giving a full pat-down to any potential criminal or hauling them down to precinct headquarters in the back of his patrol car, even if they are more of a light mocha color. “When you’re responding to reports of gunshots fired, or sprinting down an alleyway, you’re not thinking about where the suspect falls on the spectrum of African-American skin tones—you’re thinking about doing your job. Heck, the guy could be a very dark-looking Latino, for all I care—I treat every one of them the same. He’s still just a suspect to me.” Turner added that his dedication to upholding the law stems from a belief that all local residents should be able to walk their streets without fear, whether they come from an affluent white neighborhood or a working-class white neighborhood

Kamikaze Swimmers Finally Reach Pearl Harbor

The Onion – News in PhotosWorldwarISSUE 47•33Aug 16, 2011

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/15/15824/original/700.jpg?2614

 

 

What I Did This Summer

Jeanne’s back reporting to two jobs most days, 0730 through 2100 either in transit to jobs, or working. But believe it or not, she’s barely getting by financially. Next lifetime I’m going to devote some time trying to figure that out. Meanwhile, she’s lucky to have work, I reckons. Jack

Jeanne Kasten Studio

Hi everyone, thanks for coming by. I’ve not been in the mood for blogging for quite a while, but lately I’ve considered posting again with less text, sticking to more photos. I’ll see how it feels.

I promise not to post the 1500 photos I took when I went to Washington and Oregon in July, but if the mood strikes, you’ll see a few. I did quite a few collages over my break, and got some really great stuff in mail exchanges, so maybe I’ll show some of that. Instead of trying to showcase my gel pen art, I’ll probably use this blog as a place to post creative work of all kinds.

At the beginning of July, I was invited to show some art work at a friend’s open house. She called it “Christmas in July.” It turned out to be a showcase for party plan products of various…

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