Category Archives: America

Name that species: competing space aliens – recognizing our breeders

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

For reasons not fully understood two competing species of our space alien breeders are in a slugout over the mothballed NASA space shuttle launch site in Florida.  Evidently they’re after a backup plan to get the hell out of Dodge in case human beings become restive about being selectively bred for food.

This, of course, is of no consequence to most of us because we’re loyal to the general concept and do everything we can to cooperate with their goals.  We don’t know enough about the differences in the aliens to prefer one set over the other.

For that reason, the battle between the two species offers a rare opportunity to study and recognize subtle differences in appearance between the ones who prefer fat human meat in their diets, and those who enjoy the offspring of beefy football types joined with cheerleaders.

Notice the subtle differences.

These rare photos depict examples of the two species currently competing for the Get-the-hell-out-of-Dodge bolt hole NASA’s offering to lease.

As you can see, species #1 makes no attempt to disguise the fact hair doesn’t grow easily, whereas careful examination of species #2 at the hairline clearly shows the artificial surgical placement of entire scalp.  The eyes and lips are a dead giveaway to allow us to recognize the differences, as well.

But pay particular attention to the ears of species #1.  That ear was obviously taken from one of the food items after a certain amount of struggle, probably during the course of a meal.   Meanwhile, species #2 has natural ears that only needed trimming to allow for adequate disguise as human ears.

For we menu items the issue of which species gets the Space Shuttle launchpad is probably of no consequence.  But it does provide a means to better understand the sort of creatures we’ll end up providing sustenance for.

We are, after all, what we get eaten by.

Old Jules

Worthless eaters and functional economics

His functional net worth declined.

His functional net worth declined.

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by. The economic illusion we’ve been using to drive our lives is fragile and thin.  Practical, or functional economics is right there where it’s always been, waiting for a dysfunctional government to reveal it.

The practical, or functional worth of an individual as it applies to the real human condition is in what that individual produces, compared to what that same individual consumes.  A farmer who produces 20 tons of wheat in a year and only consumes the value of 10 tons has a practical worth of 10 tons of wheat.  A person who grows 50 beef cattle but only consumes the value of 49 beef cattle has a practical worth of one cow.

Same with hamburger flippers, though the hamburger flippers aren’t getting bonus credit for the secondary product of their profession, creating patients for heart surgeons.

And so on, reduced to its lowest common denominator.

Okay, so what about us useless eaters?  Insurance salesmen, congressmen and senators, presidents, CEOs, billionaires, and drug kingpins living down in the ghetto?  Retirees?  Professional military.   Party girls and celebrities.

Well, we’re all worth the same.  The amount of something we produce, minus what we consume.  We aren’t worth as much as a slum welfare mother who, at least, produces 13 children. 

For the moment, at least, the fabricated illusion is still holding together.  Even with a dysfunctional government ignoring the alternative reality.

But it’s still worth keeping in mind that we useless eaters are all pretty much of equal value when measured by practical or functional economic standards.  Whether we’re retirees, CEOs of multi-national banks, welfare mothers, or inheritors of the Colgate fortune.

Caves in Germany containing the remains of Cro Magnon people 43,000 show they kept their worthless eaters around during prosperous times.  But when times got bare they discovered a strange new respect for functional economics.

Maybe they eventually found themselves blessed with dysfunctional governments and multi-cave marketeers, besides their retirees.

Old Jules

Solving the US deficit spending crisis to develop better human beings as food

The proposal to resolve the US debt and deficit spending crisis by making 1 billion dollars last week worth 1 actual dollar next week has a lot of merit, by some standards.  The main one being it’s the only way the debt will ever actually get paid.

But there’s another strong argument in favor of it.  Once it’s done there’s absolutely no likelihood anyone’s gonna loan the people who do it anymore money.  Once it’s adopted the US will enter a bright new era of precisely balanced budge and spending practices.

It’s called ‘burning your credit cards’ in the private sector.

Naturally it will work some hardships on some people.  A loaf of bread costing $52 million, for instance, or a package of Raman worth $962 thousand  will slow down eating habits in some households. 

But in the end it will clear up the current debt and reduce accusations by space aliens that worldwide dominant species compulsive consumerism is interfering with their selective breeding programs. 

Breeding human beings to create more palatable cuisine for space aliens has to be the highest priority.  Temporary hardships among the breeding stock can’t be avoided.

Old Jules

Japan: “Send us your poor, your hungry and your trouble-makers”

Japan PM Seeks Overseas Help on Fukushima Leak

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/japan-pm-seeks-overseas-fukushima-leak-20484958

At least the ones past the age of reproduction.

Watch for the ads appearing on Craigslist:  Employment Opportunity!  Temporary positions in exotic environment.  Rapid advancement for team players.  Apply now.

US Homeland Security Forces training in Arizona

This isn’t precisely them, but someone said Homeland Security’s doing it in some camp in Arizona or New Mexico.  This is probably a more-or-less accurate portrayal of them and how they’d appear if I actually had a photograph of them training, I figures.

Main reason for my thinking so is the abundance of enthusiasm and ammunition they’re blessed with.

Old Jules

It's comforting to think they're out there training to protect us from foreign terrorists.

It’s comforting to think they’re out there training to protect us from foreign terrorists.

Pickin’ Up Beer Cans on the Highway

While I’m thinking about Homer Henderson and the Dalworthian Garden Boys I think I’d better go ahead and post this before I forget.

Homer Henderson – Pickin’ Up Beer Cans on the Highway

Inflatable life-size anatomically correct GI Jane dolls for patriots

GI Joe doll 2

I don’t know.   The one above is only 12″ tall.

The big ones are designed to be kept under the bed.  Deluxe model comes with double, kingsize or queensized US flag bedspread.

I suppose it’s probably the Chinese making them so you can probably find them on a web search.

Likely they’ll have Asian-looking eyes though.

US government shutdown of military operations crisis – Chinese quick-fix for US patriots: GI Joe dolls

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

http://sales-toys.com/Gi%20Joes%2012%20Inch?gclid=CL2Jxva3-LkCFclDMgodIyYAjg

GI Joe doll s

We’ve all been concerned, world wide, about the tensions the shutdown of military operations as a result of the budget thing would cause US patriots.  Thankfully, the Chinese have rushed to provide a solution.  Factories in China will begin working three shifts immediately in hopes of preventing catastrophic nervious conditions among US patriots by prioritizing shipping container shiploads of GI Joe Dolls as soon as possible.

GI Joe doll 2

In addition to these, a new line of target action figures wearing robes, turbans and burnooses, with butcherknives clinched in their teeth will be available.  Village life scene settings will be offered as well, both pre-drone attack, and afterward.

Chinese psychologists believe that, properly used at home by US patriots, these action figures and settings can reduce road rage and shopping mall shootings likely to occur as a result of frustration tensions when military operations overseas aren’t happening.

Old Jules

Israeli standup comedian in the United Nations

Hi readers.  I had to throw this in because it’s so outer space.

Hotshot Israeli talking to the United Nations had them all gasping with laughter yesterday when he, with a perfectly straight face, told them all they couldn’t trust Iran.

How the hell do they come up with this stuff?

Old Jules

Gorilla war in Columbia – perfect timing, cheaper and more dope than Afghanistan

That gorilla's loaded to the gills with nose candy.  It's no mystery why that war's lasted 50 years.

That gorilla’s loaded to the gills with nose candy. It’s no mystery why that war’s lasted 50 years.

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

I saw on Yahoo news yesterday there’s a gorilla war going on in Columbia.  The what?  President?  Prime Minister?  Dicktater? anyway the sadly weakened strong-man in Columbia was saying they needed help from Cuba or Venzu-whatchallit-wala to put an end to it.

Help from  Cuba?  Hell man, we can send General Arnold Swartzkopff some trucks and move Fort Hood Texas straight through Mexico be down to help them in a New York minute.  While the government’s shut down.

Corner the market on addictive drugs worldwide quicker than you can tell about it.  Have the rest of the world vomiting and trembling and begging us for something to snort or shoot that’s more satisfying than shooting Muslims.

Sure, there’s the shale oil probably in Mexico we’ll pick off on the way down there, but oil is so damned 20th Century.  Cocaine’s where the future is.

Strike while the iron’s hot and Congress can claim they didn’t know because they were fretting about the budget.

Old Jules