Tag Archives: humor

The Centralist Texasist RV Magnate

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

Feeling a bit blundery here.  Got involved in a book around 10pm and around 3am discovered it was 3am and I still had 75 pages demanding my immediate attention.  Decided what the hell.  Storm came around 70 pages later so I was up scurrying closing everything open to rain on both vehicles.

The attempts by modern civilization to snag me into negativity and stall the process of my registering the 1978 wossname, Holiday Rambler, failed and I dotted all the necessary eyes, paid out a few hundred bucks, only had to be the tiniest bit of an ooocher of legalities.  That Ford RV is now legally a resident of Texas, standing up on its hind wheels and whinnying.  Next it will be wanting to vote.

This staying up all night reading without intending to is something the law ought to insist younger men do.  Screws up all manner of habitual behaviors for cats and men my vintage.

Anyway, nice little rain last night.

The financial drain of all this has me thinking I’ll be online a lot today chasing through the available gate guard and pipeline guard for oilfield jobs.  I need a spurt of wealth to undo what’s been done to my wallet with all this.

My friend Eddie keeps track of such things as this and tells me the gate guard think is doable, sent me some links, and when I mentioned it in town to a couple of people a couple of them gave me some email links.

A few months of that would provide the friends I owe money to a relief of the burden of me owing them money [Keith and Rich, I love you as brothers and am eternally grateful for being there when I needed you].   And the weight of not being financially solvent robbing my macho, mainly, because neither of them’s hectoring me with anything but positivist enthusiasm.

Jules

Distractions

powerline helper

I’d have gotten more done Friday if I hadn’t come across this on the way into town.  I’d seen them doing the same thing the previous day, but didn’t have the camera.

powerline helper3

Can’t help wondering what the dingle dangler and helicopter pilot do for excitement on their days off.

powerline helper4

“So, how was your day, honey?”

“Same old same old.  Boss looking over my shoulder all the time.”

Escape Route V 2.5 – Done deal

Went out to look it over with Gale.  Nosing around inside I saw a strange looking  monitor on a swing-arm.  No computer I could see anywhere.  Turned to the guy selling it:
 
What’s that thing”
“A television and DVD player.”  He pushed a button and the screen lit up, another button and a DVD popped out.  “It works.”
“THAT’S a television?”
 The guy looks at me like I’m crazy.  Gale intervenes.
“Televisions have changed a lot since you saw one, Jack.”
 
Spang Rip Van Winkled again.
 
Paid an RV repair sales place to go over it with a fine toothed comb.  Everything wrong with it at least I know.  Looks better than I’d dared hope.  The RV guy who checked it also thought it was impressive. 
 
Fridge, heater, shower, sinks, water heater, generator, AC all work.  Roof is steel, more akin to a school bus than an RV, coach structure is aluminum, not wood.
 
Got transport again and ready to rock and roll.
 
It was last registered in Arizona, so today it’s off to get insurance on it, then get tags.  It already has a valid TX inspection sticker.
 
 
 
Life begins again.
 
Jack

The Road to Damascus [Washington DC to Deadwood, SD]

roadsigns

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

I don’t see any way around it.  I’m going to have to waste a little of my life being Dictator In Charge of this Great Nation.  Begin by changing the Pledge of Allegiance to, “Whoopteedoo I’m an American.  I’ve got better things to do than spending my time making the US Government feel important.”

Move the seat of government to Deadwood, SD, and buy all the people making a living off it and connected to it, along with the news media FEMA travel trailers to head up there after changing all the road signs along the way.  Eventually they’ll end up dead in the water at Rabid City where they’ll be able to gaze contentedly at Mount Rushmore and go fishing daytimes.

Change the US Constitution so’s it’s concise enough so anyone can read it and have no doubt what it says and doesn’t say:

Mind your own affairs, tend your own business, and leave other people to tend theirs.  Step out of line or start arguing about it and the local vigilance committee or whatever they do there will take care of your ass.  Run you out of town, tar and feather you, march you naked around with a sign, ‘He beat his wife’, whatever.”

Now realllllly – Some things might be worse than dying

Mary Jane and Sniffles

They know Mary Jane ain’t going to kill them.  Lying about it, pretending it might just proves to them you’re a liar or a fool and that nothing you say is worth taking seriously.

Wouldn’t it be better to just tell the truth?

Ah baby! Yes.  Yes. YES!

Ah baby! Yes. Yes. YES!

“What will your mother say when you get out of the slammer and she discovers you’ve been anally raped by every ethnic prison gang ranging from the White Brotherhood to the Crips, the Bloods, to La Raza Unita? 

“That you were forced to perform oral sex every night for the  guy  in the top bunk?”

Mommy wants that to happen to OTHER peoples’ kids and doesn’t want you to know she wants it for them, but she sure as hell doesn’t want it to happen to hers.  So she tells you the next best thing.  A lie.

A couple more thoughts about that pledge

the forbidden door

Okay.  A pledge is a pledge is a pledge.  An oath.  A promise to be taken seriously by the person pledging.  If the person making the pledge doesn’t understand what he’s pledging the ultimate result is that he/she won’t take it seriously, won’t even know what he/she pledged to do.  And by extension, won’t take any other pledge, oath, or promise he/she makes seriously, either.

And yet, that pledge is being made by rote in schools all over the country every day by kids who have no inkling what they’re pledging.  They probably have no idea what some of the words mean, even.

First off, they’re pledging allegiance to a FLAG.  A symbol.  And that flag is being waved around constantly by people assigning a meaning to it pushing every imaginable agenda and activity from selling furniture to conducting a military adventure. 

So how the hell are those kids supposed to conclude there’s something specific to what they’re promising?  Ahhhh… “of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands.”  Well that narrows things down a lot.  Cuts out the riffraff.  They’re not obliging themselves to any allegiance to the state or region they live in, nor to the hood.  They’re not promising to be loyal to Australia nor Austria.

Welllllll, then comes the clincher.  “One [count’em] 1 each, nation.”  Skip the ‘under God’ distraction and read what it said before 1954.  “One nation, INDIVISIBLE”.

And there, my friends, you have the crux of the whole matter.  The US Constitution failed to say that once a geographic entity got its foot into the door it was stuck there permanently.  It caused a lot of confusion back in the 1860s because it was assumed when the Constitution said everything not specifically forbidden by itself was okay.  States believed they could withdraw because the Constitution didn’t say they were in for the duration.

So the obvious solution is to make kids say it’s indivisible before they know the meaning of the word.  Hammer it to hell into their heads and make them promise every day they won’t try to divide this country again.  And keep them doing it all their lives.

Otherwise they might grow up to be Democrats or Republicans and spend every waking moment being as divisive as they can manage about every facet of existence here, driving wedges, over every nuance they can think of.  Whining constantly over breadcrumbs sifted from the US Constitution concerning countless other things it doesn’t say.

And never getting around to listening to the last words they utter after they get the one republics, under Gods, and indivisibles out of the way.

“With liberty and justice for all.”  That would just really be too big a pill to swallow.

Important distinctions between Democrats and Communists

adults and kiddies

During the early 1950s it became important to distinguish the difference between Communists and Democrats.  This was no easy thing to do.  Something was needed to establish a clear delineation, easy to recognize.  After pondering the matter several years, in 1954 Congress finally found the key:

http://voices.yahoo.com/when-was-under-god-added-pledge-allegiance-3187545.html

The decision of Congress to add “under God” to the Pledge was, at least in part, a reaction to the Cold War with Soviet Russia. One of the differentiating factors between Soviet Communism and American Democracy was that the Soviets officially advocated atheism. The phrase “under God” was seen, therefore, to reaffirm an important distinction between the two competing worldviews. [Source: Religion and the Law in America, p. 110-12].

“On June 14, 1954, President Eisenhower signed the bill officially adding “under God” to the Pledge of Allegiance. The President remarked that, “millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town … the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty.” [Source: Slate.com]”

Seemed simple enough until someone wondered aloud, “But how can a person distinguish a Christian from a non-Christian?”  After a lot of pondering and head scratching they were forced to resort to The Apostles’ Creed, 312 CE.

http://www.reformed.org/documents/apostles_creed.html

“The Apostles’ Creed
(as usually recited today)
“The basic creed of Reformed churches, as most familiarly known, is called the Apostles’ Creed. It has received this title because of its great antiquity; it dates from very early times in the Church, a half century or so from the last writings of the New Testament.
“I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
    the Maker of heaven and earth,
    and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:

“Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
    born of the virgin Mary,
    suffered under Pontius Pilate,
    was crucified, dead, and buried;

“He descended into hell. [See Calvin]

“The third day He arose again from the dead;

“He ascended into heaven,
    and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
    from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.

“I believe in the Holy Ghost;
    the holy catholic church;
    the communion of saints;
    the forgiveness of sins;
    the resurrection of the body;
    and the life everlasting.

“Amen.”

Extremely helpful during the Vietnam War.  A person of Asian ethnicity who could recite the Pledge of Allegiance and the Apostle Creed could be said with confidence not to be a Communist.  Anyone who couldn’t, was.

Same as today.

Sometime I’ll tell you about the trauma those of us who’d already learned the Pledge went through trying to figure out and remember where to say the phrase, “under God” and where to pause when including it.

Why US troops are helping suppress rebels in the Congo

jeffdavis3

President Barack Obama:  “Primitive, often non-white people have no respect for the law, private property owned by US corporations, and for the authority manifested in duly recognized goverment.  The Congo must be protected.  Residents must be allowed to enjoy freedom without interference of rebels and outside Chinese attempts to control tropical Africa for the minerals, timber and other resources located there.

The US is forced to maintain large bodies of troops in Afghanistan and an equally large mercenery force in Iraq at great expense to itself to prevent US military activities on the African continent becoming an international issue.”

Finally it begins to make sense

first man in space

I read somewhere recently the efforts to teach sign language to great apes since the 1970s gave a lot of them vocabularies large enough to allow IQ tests. The lowest a mountain gorilla ever scored was 97. Smarter than a lot of people. And I read somewhere else there’s only a 1% difference between the DNA of a chimp and that of a human being.

All of which suggests to me there might be sub-species of human beings, not quite human but not different enough to identify as an entirely different species. Politicians, genetic engineers, Wall Street bankers, CEOs of multi-national corporations, along with Hitler, Stalin et al might finally be explained that way.

I’d never considered the possibility aristocrats might be merely close relations to human beings without actually crossing the great divide to become human.  That maybe they’re just a smidgen of lifetimes behind on the reincarnation trail, sniffing along trying to catch up, but getting distracted by the fire hydrants others among them peed on as they struggled to gain humanhood.

Vultures fighting for the moral high ground

Good morning readers.  For two days now the sky and trees the other side of the meadow have been filled with Democrat buzzards and Republican vultures fighting over the carcass of Brother Coon.  

Both groups find him palatable, but each doing its own part to tear him down into fragments of truth they can convert within their buzzard realities into savory, self-serving  rhetoric.  Watching it all was fun for a while, them pushing and shoving off the tree limbs and chasing one another away on the ground when a choice morsel emerged from the pile of goo.

By now old Brother Coon’s probably been released to the public, one way or another, so hopefully the show’s over.  Not much of him left in the meadow, anyway.  Even for buzzards the shelf-life on a carcass isn’t that long in all this heat.  Whatever’s left the fireants will take care of quickly.  Might wander out there later to see if I can gather up some teeth for a necklace or a watch-fob.