Tag Archives: Life

Worthless eaters and functional economics

His functional net worth declined.

His functional net worth declined.

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by. The economic illusion we’ve been using to drive our lives is fragile and thin.  Practical, or functional economics is right there where it’s always been, waiting for a dysfunctional government to reveal it.

The practical, or functional worth of an individual as it applies to the real human condition is in what that individual produces, compared to what that same individual consumes.  A farmer who produces 20 tons of wheat in a year and only consumes the value of 10 tons has a practical worth of 10 tons of wheat.  A person who grows 50 beef cattle but only consumes the value of 49 beef cattle has a practical worth of one cow.

Same with hamburger flippers, though the hamburger flippers aren’t getting bonus credit for the secondary product of their profession, creating patients for heart surgeons.

And so on, reduced to its lowest common denominator.

Okay, so what about us useless eaters?  Insurance salesmen, congressmen and senators, presidents, CEOs, billionaires, and drug kingpins living down in the ghetto?  Retirees?  Professional military.   Party girls and celebrities.

Well, we’re all worth the same.  The amount of something we produce, minus what we consume.  We aren’t worth as much as a slum welfare mother who, at least, produces 13 children. 

For the moment, at least, the fabricated illusion is still holding together.  Even with a dysfunctional government ignoring the alternative reality.

But it’s still worth keeping in mind that we useless eaters are all pretty much of equal value when measured by practical or functional economic standards.  Whether we’re retirees, CEOs of multi-national banks, welfare mothers, or inheritors of the Colgate fortune.

Caves in Germany containing the remains of Cro Magnon people 43,000 show they kept their worthless eaters around during prosperous times.  But when times got bare they discovered a strange new respect for functional economics.

Maybe they eventually found themselves blessed with dysfunctional governments and multi-cave marketeers, besides their retirees.

Old Jules

Solving the US deficit spending crisis to develop better human beings as food

The proposal to resolve the US debt and deficit spending crisis by making 1 billion dollars last week worth 1 actual dollar next week has a lot of merit, by some standards.  The main one being it’s the only way the debt will ever actually get paid.

But there’s another strong argument in favor of it.  Once it’s done there’s absolutely no likelihood anyone’s gonna loan the people who do it anymore money.  Once it’s adopted the US will enter a bright new era of precisely balanced budge and spending practices.

It’s called ‘burning your credit cards’ in the private sector.

Naturally it will work some hardships on some people.  A loaf of bread costing $52 million, for instance, or a package of Raman worth $962 thousand  will slow down eating habits in some households. 

But in the end it will clear up the current debt and reduce accusations by space aliens that worldwide dominant species compulsive consumerism is interfering with their selective breeding programs. 

Breeding human beings to create more palatable cuisine for space aliens has to be the highest priority.  Temporary hardships among the breeding stock can’t be avoided.

Old Jules

Japan: “Send us your poor, your hungry and your trouble-makers”

Japan PM Seeks Overseas Help on Fukushima Leak

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/japan-pm-seeks-overseas-fukushima-leak-20484958

At least the ones past the age of reproduction.

Watch for the ads appearing on Craigslist:  Employment Opportunity!  Temporary positions in exotic environment.  Rapid advancement for team players.  Apply now.

US Homeland Security Forces training in Arizona

This isn’t precisely them, but someone said Homeland Security’s doing it in some camp in Arizona or New Mexico.  This is probably a more-or-less accurate portrayal of them and how they’d appear if I actually had a photograph of them training, I figures.

Main reason for my thinking so is the abundance of enthusiasm and ammunition they’re blessed with.

Old Jules

It's comforting to think they're out there training to protect us from foreign terrorists.

It’s comforting to think they’re out there training to protect us from foreign terrorists.

Wild as a Texas blue norther

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.

This norther turned out to be not all that wild, but it spang brought the first taste of fall.  Caught me not knowing exactly where I’ve got my sleeping caps stored away.  Had to settle for a sweatsuit jacket with a hood.

Cats mostly stayed in the RV with me during the night, though they had to trip outdoors occasionally to make certain things were going okay out there.  Didn’t take them long to decide everything was hunkie dorie enough to scratch on the screen and trust to the Universe to protect things from the space aliens sneaking around out there.

Heluva a fine morning out there.  More stars than I’ve seen for a while, Orion and the Pleiades romancing.

The Toyota RV should be gone from here within the next few days, along with the old 4 Runner and the pickup-bed trailer, got a guy wants the chainlink dog-runs I used for a chicken pen, too.  Put my Toyota RV Onan generator up on Craigslist a few days ago, but it hasn’t drawn any excitement.  Might have to lower my expectations about the value of it.

ONAN RV generator sell or trade for Moped – $275 (Harper, Texas)

http://bigbend.craigslist.org/rvs/4111000059.html

So here I am being methodical about running off into the sunset, which represents something of a behavioral change for me.  But I’m getting a bit long in the tooth to be responding to the wild as a Texas blue norther side of my youthful character I’ve always tried to nurture.

I’m figuring by the end of October I’ll be somewhere I don’t need to be wild to still have a few challenges and healthy moments of self-doubt.

I still have to figure out some way of getting a mailing address in the neighborhood of the Texas/New Mexico boundary, which is probably going to be challenge enough for most usual purposes.

Old Jules

Pickin’ Up Beer Cans on the Highway

While I’m thinking about Homer Henderson and the Dalworthian Garden Boys I think I’d better go ahead and post this before I forget.

Homer Henderson – Pickin’ Up Beer Cans on the Highway

The European circumcision crisis

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Most of us probably go through life without doing a lot of thinking about circumcision.  I know I have, though I recall being fairly pleased I’d been through it as an infant when my old friend Vic had to have it done at the age of 30.

But in Europe I suppose someone decided just anyone ought not go around cutting the foreskins off male babies unless they’d had a bit of medical training.  They passed a law saying so.  Which thoroughly pissed off Israel, who pronounced it racist.  Evidently Jews and Arabs do it all the time and it’s worked out more-or-less okay.

I suppose if I had to choose and someone was going to take a knife to my pecker I’d rather they knew a little something about what they were doing, but I honestly don’t have a clue.  Mine might have gotten chewed off by a space alien for all I know.

Back in the 1960s there was a joke about a guy, said he got a job at a hospital as a circumcisor.  Said it paid 30 skins a week and a chance to get a head.

And during the ’70s Homer Henderson and the Dalworthian Garden Boys recorded a song, Hillbilly Pecker, about a kid who wasn’t circumcised.  Experienced some trauma when he discovered everyone else was.

HOMER HENDERSON Hillbilly Pecker .

But other than that I haven’t done much thinking about it.  Don’t know whether it’s racist, or not, just anyone taking a blade to a foreskin.

Likely there’ll be shots fired over it before the Europeans and Israel get it worked out.

Old Jules

Inflatable life-size anatomically correct GI Jane dolls for patriots

GI Joe doll 2

I don’t know.   The one above is only 12″ tall.

The big ones are designed to be kept under the bed.  Deluxe model comes with double, kingsize or queensized US flag bedspread.

I suppose it’s probably the Chinese making them so you can probably find them on a web search.

Likely they’ll have Asian-looking eyes though.

Israeli standup comedian in the United Nations

Hi readers.  I had to throw this in because it’s so outer space.

Hotshot Israeli talking to the United Nations had them all gasping with laughter yesterday when he, with a perfectly straight face, told them all they couldn’t trust Iran.

How the hell do they come up with this stuff?

Old Jules

Gorilla war in Columbia – perfect timing, cheaper and more dope than Afghanistan

That gorilla's loaded to the gills with nose candy.  It's no mystery why that war's lasted 50 years.

That gorilla’s loaded to the gills with nose candy. It’s no mystery why that war’s lasted 50 years.

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read this morning.

I saw on Yahoo news yesterday there’s a gorilla war going on in Columbia.  The what?  President?  Prime Minister?  Dicktater? anyway the sadly weakened strong-man in Columbia was saying they needed help from Cuba or Venzu-whatchallit-wala to put an end to it.

Help from  Cuba?  Hell man, we can send General Arnold Swartzkopff some trucks and move Fort Hood Texas straight through Mexico be down to help them in a New York minute.  While the government’s shut down.

Corner the market on addictive drugs worldwide quicker than you can tell about it.  Have the rest of the world vomiting and trembling and begging us for something to snort or shoot that’s more satisfying than shooting Muslims.

Sure, there’s the shale oil probably in Mexico we’ll pick off on the way down there, but oil is so damned 20th Century.  Cocaine’s where the future is.

Strike while the iron’s hot and Congress can claim they didn’t know because they were fretting about the budget.

Old Jules