Daily Archives: October 19, 2013

Paraphrasing – Transcending the great Bartlett’s in the sky

  • Mao Tse Tung:  “We’ve got to find an alternative to marching four-abreast into the sea.  Four abreast would take forever.”
  • Jeff Chandler: White man speak with forked tongue.”
  • Walter Brennon:  “Them God damned Shoshones just kept a’comin’.  I’ve got five arrows in my chest and it HURTS!  They just kept a’comin’.”
  • John Wayne: Fill your hand you son of a bitch!”
  • Standing Badger Running:  “You guys serve whiskey to Indians in here?”
  • GI Joe:  “For me this war isn’t about killing Japanese or Germans, or protecting our freedoms.  It’s about NOT shovelling shit in Louisiana or burying bodies in the Solomon Islands.”

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.

I’d imagine most of you will agree the dew has just about fallen from the lily with all these quotations flying around the Internet.  Pick any subject, do a quickie websearch, and someone somewhere said a wise inspiring soul shattering sentence about it in some context. 

Pop it up and give the world a thrill.  Make their day.  You don’t even have to know who the person was who said it, nor why they said it, nor to whom.  Just shoot it out there and everyone who reads it will suddenly possess a new and enlightened viewpoint on the subject.

One suggested means of making sure everyone toes the line has been put forward by some other folks who’ve about got a belly full of what Talouse le Trec said about rock and roll.  It involves putting a “INSERT QUOTE FROM FAMOUS PERSON HERE” button on all Internet posts. 

Scans the rest of the words by the person making the post, searches the web for anything someone who once lived said on the subject,  and inserts a poignant touching few words with a name someone might recognize.

Seems to me that’s a bit too macho robbing.  The way to get humanity back on track is for Internet posters to contemplate what famous people might have said, whether they said it or not.  Or probably would have said if they’d thought about it.  Or sort of said when they were playing the part of someone else in a movie.

But the main thing is, someone has to do something before this thing wears so thin it won’t hold water.  Otherwise people might quit coming to the Internet to get their thoughts to make their day.

Old Jules

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Getting back to the basics

Hi readers. Nice calm little world we’ve got here this morning. Nothing much happening anywhere now that the US government’s gone back to work.

Yesterday I was working on the Communist trailer door trying to get it to close despite having bolt-heads obstructing closure.  They were ramming up against a bumper-like surface between the hole the door fits into and the rest of the Universe. 

Dug out the angle grinder and plugged it in, thought about how an angle grinder could solve so many problems of the world.  Not much 20,000 rpms of abrasive wheel won’t fix when it starts making a nuisance of itself.

In fact, if you readers are like me you’re probably always looking for ways to rid yourself of some of those extra appendages on your body your DNA provided you with.  I’d suggest you look into getting yourself an angle grinder, take the guard off, and put an oversized wheel on it, then go to work on losing some of those ugly pounds you’re carrying around.

Nothing much on the human body that thing won’t go through quicker than the human mind can catch up to events.  And absolutely painless, briefly.  During the space of time between it happening and the mind registering the event there’s no sensation at all.

But I’ve digressed.  I was going to tell you about some ideas I had yesterday about how to get regular people back producing things in this country by reinstating the Homesteading laws of the late 1800s.  People who can’t find jobs, who’d consider subsistence farms an improvement over drawing government food stamps and out-of-work benefits.

But I’m going to have to save that for another time.

Old Jules