Daily Archives: October 24, 2013

Giant oarfifh found on beach in California – Cecil the Feafick Fea Ferpent

This ominous portent from California last week:  Giant oarfish washed up on the beach.  Second one since I-don't-know-when.

This ominous portent from California last week: Giant oarfish washed up on the beach. Second one since I-don’t-know-when.

Beware the feafhoref and tremble in your homef when ferpentf of the deep emerge with their mouthf miffing.”  Josephus Minimus

I was fairly certain this was written down somewhere.  Maybe the Bible, or Nostradamas, or Mother Shipley, or some other trustworthy source.  Turned out it was Josephus Minimus.  Or would be Josephus Minimus once I post this.

Old Jules

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Drill pump disambiguation, home body part remover, et al

Home Depot plumbing section.  NOT in the Home Depot drill and power tool accessories section.

Home Depot plumbing section. NOT in the Home Depot drill and power tool accessories section.

Disambiguation is a word I love.  Sadly neglected except by pointee headed people.  Here’s an attempt to compensate for some of the injustice.

Failure to attach a drill to the item will reduce efficiency and performance.

Failure to attach a drill to the item will reduce efficiency and performance.

I offer the $7 225 gpm Home Depot drill pump for those considering paying $75-$100 to lift water out of a ground level container into the RV.

Not recommended for people who want to have a stroke from consuming MSG.

Not recommended for people who want to have a stroke from consuming MSG.

Dollar Tree.  Broth.  32 oz for a buck.  No better deal in Christiandom.  $1 US, 2013 dollars. 

Remove the guard and throw it away.  Then take off that non-macho small abrasive wheel that came with it.  Put on a big one so's your hand is up close and personal when the torque hits.

Remove the guard and throw it away. Then take off that non-macho small abrasive wheel that came with it. Put on a big one so’s your hand is up close and personal when the torque hits.

Home surgery kit, body part remover.  The phrase, “Make my day!” just before you hit the ON button is appropriate and recommended.

Old Jules

Never trust a Free Mason who doesn’t look older than you.

At least don’t trust them more than you’d trust anyone else.  Josephus Minimus 

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Free Mason who didn’t look a day older than me sidled up to me in the hardware store parking lot yesterday.  “I want to sell you a ticket to a fish fry.  I hope you’ll come join us for a while.”  He gestured with a packet of tickets.  “We’ll have a lot of prizes to give away in drawings.”

Respectable enough looking guy, but too damned young to be a Free Mason, thinks I.  For something to say courteous to him, “What’s the cost?”

He told me and I’d run spang out of conversation pieces.  There’s a fish fry I might attend for the Harper Fire Department in a week or so, but I didn’t figure I’d care to drive to Kerrville for one.  “So when is it?”

Ah.  That’s the catch.  It’s in March.”

March?  I figure I’ll be dead or somewhere else in March.”

He shrugged.  “I wish I could join you.”

Two things seem clear to me. 

  • The guy was older than he looked.  A lot older, assuming he’s a Free Mason.  Probably uses some kind of Free Mason black magic keeping himself looking young like regular people. 
  • Secondly, he was trying to trick me into having to stay around here until March, 2014.  Likely has some sort of Free Mason conspiracy doings.  Wanting to tanglefoot me into them.

Anyway, having deftly sidestepped the Free Mason Conspiracy I had a good trip to town, generally.  Got me a water pump to get water from a container on the ground up into the RV tank.  Impeller with hose bibs on each side, shaft to turn it fits into the chuck of an electric drill.  Moves 250 gallons an hour.  That thing’s going to save me some heavy lifting in the future. $6.95 US.  2013 dollars.

Also picked up a set of fancydancy 21st Century screwdriver heads of all different shapes and sizes to foil the efforts of engineers everywhere.  And a damned cheapass volt meter.

Then down at the Dollar Tree store picked up all manner of things a person needs to get by in this life, each for a dollar.  A person can spend a $20 bill in there and come away with $100 worth of groceries anywhere else.  [32 oz box-like containers of MSG-free beef or chicken broth for $1 US each.  I bought 128 oz, two of each.  Stocking up for The End of Life as We Know It – TEOLAWKI.  MSG free TEOLAWKI won’t bring back telephones, computers and radiation levels people can survive in, but it beats boiling 2-headed mutant horses to add flavor.]

Stopped on the way home to talk to the guy up the hill.  He told me about the Marfa Lights, which I’ve heard of over the years, but never seen.  Came away entertaining the thought I might swing out that way and have a look when I get out of here.

Lessons in life, flashes of insight about things I haven’t done yet, and busted a Free Mason conspiracy.  All in one day.

Life is good.

Old Jules