Tag Archives: Health

Good news on the medical front

FDA Approves First Artificial Tumor

WASHINGTON—Following years of research and testing, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration officially approved a groundbreaking artificial tumor Tuesday, marking the first time a synthetic malignant growth has been cleared for use in patients across the country. “There were obviously significant complications in devising a tumor substitute the human body would accept, but we now have an artificial neoplasm that serves the same physiological functions as an organic abnormal growth of tissue,” said Jeffrey Shuren of the FDA’s Center for Devices and Radiological Health, adding that the polymer-based lump can be safely implanted in patients regardless of age, health, or medical history during a minimally invasive and relatively quick two-hour surgical procedure. “This synthetic tumor is remarkably lightweight, malignant, and capable of naturally metastasizing throughout the body. It also has the benefit of being incredibly small—roughly the size of a dime—but once in the body, it will grow two to three times in size and will get to work immediately replicating itself.” Shuren added that while initial prototypes of the device had only enough battery power to last a few days, the approved version is capable of going for several years or more, or until its objective has been completed.

Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn’t Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough

Hi readers.  When I saw this in The Onion I realized it was probably true because I’ve been guilty of it myself.  Old Jules

News With VideodoctorsScience & TechnologyhealthISSUE 50•29• Jul 24, 2014

DALLAS—According to the results of a study published Thursday by the American Heart Association, most heart attack victims do not freeze up and grab at their chests with sufficient measures of theatrics when suffering a cardiac arrest.

“After analyzing data from the past 30 years, we found that when someone experiences heart failure, the most common reaction is fairly mundane; there’s unfortunately no stumbling around the room or frantic straining to enunciate the words ‘having…heart…attack.’

Typically, the person merely winces and slumps over in place until paramedics arrive,” said AHA spokesman Dr. Phillip Trainor, who also noted with disappointment that it is extremely rare for victims seated at dinner tables or restaurants to gasp loudly before falling face-first into a plate of food.

“As few as one in 10 victims even rigidly extend one arm out in front of them, much less reach out for support and accidentally knock several books and framed photos from a shelf or mantle before falling to the ground themselves.” Trainor went on to compare heart attack sufferers to electrocution victims, stating that in most cases, such individuals do not levitate with their limbs fully splayed and their skeletons visible to onlookers for nearly long enough

Being alive puts things into a whole different light

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Those of you who’ve read here a while probably remember when I did my dramatic exit scene from Texas.  Middle of the damned coldest winter in memory, hopped in that RV trying to beat death to Kansas.  Two cats freezing and scared, me pushing things to a razor edge because I was determined to die somewhere the felines would have a home when I kicked.

Made it as far as one of those north Texas towns above Dallas, checked into a motel to croak.  And Jeanne’s sons dropped what they were doing and came down to drive me the rest of the way.

I had every reason to believe one of a couple of unhappy body parts was going on strike and planned to kill me.  The VA in Texas tried hard to avoid giving me the bad news by not examining me, but I sneaked past them into a private emergency room.  Old Gale hauled me to town when I was in bad enough shape to agree to it.  Took care of the cats while the Kerrville hospital made faces at one another every time they got the results of another test.

So I had every reason to believe my goozle was an ugly cancerous disaster, funny como se llamas on my lungs, but that those couldn’t get to me fast enough to kill me.  My ticker was going to do that honor.

So when I arrived in Oz and checked into the Olathe Medical Center through the Emergency Room I figured there was a middling chance I wouldn’t be coming back out with the amount of alive I had when I checked in.

But the cats were taken care of.  Every time a sawbones wanted to look at something else going ugly or stinking on my old jalopy of a body, I said okay.  And afterward he, or she would come around looking somber, suggesting we have a better look and by the way, I hate to tell you this, etc.

But I’ve digressed.  My point I want to make to you is that nobody anywhere along the program was saying, “On the off chance you don’t croak this is going to cost one hell of a lot of money.  Let’s discuss whether you could pay it in your wildest, most optimistic dreams.”

Hell, I’m a Social Security pensioneer.  Whatever medical care I get is through the VA, or Medicare paying the bills that have any reasonable hope of getting paid.  There’s copays, and I had a vague awareness of the fact it exists, but hell, I was having conversations with the grim reaper.  I wasn’t worrying about bill collectors.

And seemingly neither was anyone else.  Sons of bitches thought I as dying, every swinging Richard of them.  Maybe if they thought there was any hope I wouldn’t someone would have sat down with me and said, “Uh, you know, if you die you’re going to be okay.  But if you don’t, we’ve got people over in accounting who are going to try to make the REST of your life challenging.  Maybe you thought you had it bad before you came in here, but dying’s just a way to escape the accounts receivable people down the hall.  People do it all the time.”

Okay.  This defibrillator and the VA paying for physical therapy did a lot, and I believe, my home remedy herbal cancer killer took care of the goozle and lungs.  For a while it still appeared the damned ticker could still croak me, but it gradually slid down on the job.  Every physical therapy session I came away feeling better physically, and suspecting the financial world had some dark clouds looming on the horizon.  Lucky the national debt already admitted nobody gives a damn about paying debts anyway.

Well friends and neighbors, barring any unforeskinned circumcisions I won’t be seeing anymore doctors for a year.  They’ve got this ticker surveillance device hooked to me, reports to them all the time, and I’m down there three times a week on walking machines and sitting down peddler things, putting all this crap behind me.

And the bean counters are scratching their heads, dunning me and fretting over the phone about how I’m going to pay those copays that didn’t make any difference so long as I was exiting the vehicle.  Every month they get their $10 checks, and the big ones rack up a charge to neutralize that in the form of a penalty because it wasn’t enough.

And threatening to turn it over to the Roccos.

Sheeze!  I was needing a new adventure.  Aside from some help from a few good friends, I haven’t had any personal debt since Y2K.  If I didn’t have money I didn’t spend it, no matter what.  Sometimes they turned off the electricity, and it stayed turned off until I got enough money to turn it back on.

I suppose this could be called the cost of living.  I can send them $10 per month, they can call that $10 and raise, until nature can find some other way of wiping me off the Monopoly board.

But damn it’s good being alive.

Old Jules

 

 

About that Herb Ox Bouillon – MSG Deniers

Low sodium / no sodium Saimin

I got this in an email from Jeanne sometime during the night:

it has two ingredients which  minimize the amount of MSG, but they don’t remove all the MSG in the product.   Better read up on them before you decide it’s safe to consume any.

http://healthybliss.net/the-truth-in-food-labeling-food-additives-to-avoid-hidden-sources-of-msg/


http://www.livestrong.com/article/551058-disodium-guanylate-vs-monosodium-glutamate/

 

To be honest I hadn’t gotten around to hoping it would be this complicated.  MSGs more of a poison to me than too much salt.  But I’m not sure I’ll be able to figure out yea or nay without bellying up to the bar and watching my blood pressure afterward.

Old Jules

Low sodium / no sodium Saimin

Hi readers.  My occasional yearning for saimin [ en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saimin ] experienced a hiccup when the various sawbones convinced me I needed to be serious about sodium if I wanted to keep making a nuisance of myself.

The other ingredients aren’t a problem, but finding a low sodium, easy to prepare broth is.  I tried using the onion ice cubes and it almost worked, but not quite.  Onion ice cubes, jalapeno ice cubes

But there’s an auction near here every Saturday, and everything that doesn’t sell goes out into the parking area to be sifted through by anyone who wants it before they haul it away to the dump.  I occasionally find things I want there because Jeanne’s been a frequenter and trafficker of auction castaways for a number of years.

Saturday I hit the jackpot.  A brand new, unopened box of Herb Ox NO SODUM chicken bouillon broth.  I never knew such a thing existed.  Never thought it might enough to search for it.

So when I arrived back at Jeanne’s I immediately used one package to test as a cup of bouillon hot drink and it was great.

Yesterday I used one of those onion ice cubes, a package of Herb Ox NO SODIUM bouillon as the base for my first post-discovery saimin.  Everything added was sodium free, or only had naturally systemic sodium.

I used bean sprouts, thin wheat noodles, shredded cabbage and carrots, mushrooms, some corn off-the-cob, and various seasonings.

Tasted precisely as saimin ought to taste, which varies.

Old Jules

 

No sodium catchup substitute better than catsup

sweet pepper and bells

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.  I’m sitting here dipping home-made no sodium catsup substitute in Art’s & Mary’s no salt homestyle potato chips.

So shoot me.  Fact is, this catsup substitute tastes so much better than catsup a person might as well call catsup a substitute for whatever this como se llama delicious concoction is.  And it’s so damned easy to make they ought to put grocers in jail for carrying the original salt-bomb Hunts, Heinz, you name it catsups on the shelves.  Killing people slowly.

 sweet pepper and bells in blender

What you need to make Como Se Llama?   Sweet peppers and/or Bell peppers of various colors.  A blender.  3/4 cup apple cider vinegar.  A cup of sugar, or however much less you prefer.  A tablespoon of black pepper.

sweet pepper and bells blended

Blend it until it’s all liquid, adding the sugar and vinegar while it’s blending.  I use unground peppercorn and let the blending reduce the grain size with everything else.

sweet pepper and bells ireducing

Once that’s done all you need to do is put it over medium heat and bring it to a boil, then let it simmer until it’s reduced approximately 1/3, but mainly is the thickness you prefer in a Como se Llama.  Keep it in mind you’re using it for a dip.

If it gets so you’re on the road or for come other reason can’t make Como se Llama, you can always stop into a grocery store and buy a bottle of catsup for a temporary substitute.

Old Jules

Sumptuous low sodium avocado sandwich

Once again readers, you’re hearing it here first.

  • 2 slices low sodium [85 mg per slice] oatmeal bread
  • 1/2 avocado mashed to paste
  • handful of bean sprouts
  • 14 leafs fresh spinach
  • 1 green onion, chopped
  • handful of chopped fresh cilantro
  • no other seasoning

Count’em:  190 mg of sodium, total.  And it melts in your mouth.

Old Jules

Wasting your life on something important instead of trivialities

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Once it became obvious the Olathe Medical Center Cardiac Physical Therapy folks weren’t opening the doors on Independence Day, I knew I was in trouble.  Felt the pressure building, depression setting in.  Scurried around searching under things for anti-depressant drugs, then remembered I’ve never had any of those.

Hell, here the colonies declare themselves free to select their own masters instead of the British ones who’d been turning up their noses for so long, and the hired help start wanting holidays to celebrate having a different set of masters. 

And here my old ticker I’m trying to persuade to kick up the ejection to, say, 20% instead of 10%-and-some-change is whining and complaining that I’m not lifting a finger to help it along.   Heart muscle giving winks and nods to the defibrillator, whispering to the lungs and arteries that I’m a lazy, no-good-for-nuthun slacker wastrel.

Obviously I couldn’t sit still for that.  If I’m ever going to climb any more mountains, if I’m going to find the Lost Adams Diggings, damn me, I’m going to have to do physical therapy whether the hospital is shut down, or whether the whole bunch is out there eating hot dogs and popping fireworks.

So I joined the Olathe Community Center gym for a month.  Went down there early this morning, walked around acting like real people, mounted a walking machine and walked the hell out of things.  Wandered over to the weight machines and humped my upper body a while whoopteedoo.  Walked around the track looking down on pee-filled hot tubs and swimming pools, looking out windows into the parking lot, at pictures hung on the walls. 

Sagged to my knees and breathed a while, telling the bastards who were asking if I was okay to mind their own damned business.  Piss me off.

Feeling pretty groovy, all things considered.

Old Jules

Delicious low sodium hamburger

Hi readers.  I just devoured one of these  and can testify there’s none better.

  1. When you make up your ground beef patties use onion powder as a flour to separate the patties.  But first sprinkle on lime powder, coriander, black pepper.
  2. Thaw one Pattie and cook or grill it.
  3. Using two slices of low sodium sandwich bread paste on home-made catsup [no sodium] made from sweet peppers and rice vinegar blended and boiled.
  4. Prepare the bread surface with no sodium catsup below cilantro, chopped green onions and spinach leaves on one slice.
  5. If you like mustard, mix a tablespoon of mustard flour with equal amount of water and spread on the surface of the remaining bread slice.
  6. Place the meat, cooked to taste, on the bread with the spinach, cilantro, and green onion, then cover it all with the slice covered with mustard.

Beats hell out of traditional hamburgers and you only get the salt that came naturally in the ground beef, plus 30-60 mg of salt in each slice of bread.

Old Jules

Afterthought:  If you don’t have an economical source for lime juice powder and onion flour [powder] you can buy it by the pound from www.FirehousePantryStore.com  – the mixture of onion flour and lime juice powder is the absolute best substitute for salt I’ve found, bar none.  Beats the stuff sold as salt substitutes such as wossname, Madam Upso Salt and Mr. Ersatz Sodium all to hell.

 

I’ll call your walking machine and raise you a bicycle

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

I’m sure those nurses down at physical therapy intend the best.  I’ve no doubt when they hector me about the settings on those machines they only have my best interest at heart.  But I still try to cheat and occasionally succeed, steal a few MPH, or a couple of minutes than they said was okay.  But my time’s running out with them anyway.

I’ve got to find some other exercize, might buy a membership at the new community center here, though it’s a tight squeeze in the dollars department.  And yesterday Jeanne’s son, Mike, was over, said he had a Raleigh mountain bike sitting over there not being used. 

So I briefly borrowed the one he was riding, took it up the block to the blind school, or deaf school, whatever, and back.  Just a block, and I was breathing hard, but not too hard when I returned.  Defibrillator didn’t kick me in the chest.  And I didn’t fall off the damned thing.

So I’m going to borrow that bike from him if he’ll loan it to me.  Begin riding it around Olathe, Georgia, Kansas, whereever this place is, dodging automobiles, shaking my fist at drivers who want to share a piece of the road.  Shouting threats and curses.

There are plenty of places I might be able to go to in this town that I was reluctant to try to walk because I run out of steam after a block or two.  But a bicycle!  A hotdiggedydamn Raleigh bicycle with about 90 gears on it, that’s a different herd of sheep entirely.

Gonna be a man about town.  A man to be reckoned with. 

Old Jules