Monthly Archives: October 2013

Name that species: competing space aliens – recognizing our breeders

Posted on October 7, 2013 by | 4 comments

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

For reasons not fully understood two competing species of our space alien breeders are in a slugout over the mothballed NASA space shuttle launch site in Florida.  Evidently they’re after a backup plan to get the hell out of Dodge in case human beings become restive about being selectively bred for food.

This, of course, is of no consequence to most of us because we’re loyal to the general concept and do everything we can to cooperate with their goals.  We don’t know enough about the differences in the aliens to prefer one set over the other.

For that reason, the battle between the two species offers a rare opportunity to study and recognize subtle differences in appearance between the ones who prefer fat human meat in their diets, and those who enjoy the offspring of beefy football types joined with cheerleaders.

Notice the subtle differences.

These rare photos depict examples of the two species currently competing for the Get-the-hell-out-of-Dodge bolt hole NASA’s offering to lease.

As you can see, species #1 makes no attempt to disguise the fact hair doesn’t grow easily, whereas careful examination of species #2 at the hairline clearly shows the artificial surgical placement of entire scalp.  The eyes and lips are a dead giveaway to allow us to recognize the differences, as well.

But pay particular attention to the ears of species #1.  That ear was obviously taken from one of the food items after a certain amount of struggle, probably during the course of a meal.   Meanwhile, species #2 has natural ears that only needed trimming to allow for adequate disguise as human ears.

For we menu items the issue of which species gets the Space Shuttle launchpad is probably of no consequence.  But it does provide a means to better understand the sort of creatures we’ll end up providing sustenance for.

We are, after all, what we get eaten by.

Old Jules

4 Comments

Posted in 2013, America

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Worthless eaters and functional economics

Posted on October 6, 2013 by | 4 comments
His functional net worth declined.

His functional net worth declined.

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by. The economic illusion we’ve been using to drive our lives is fragile and thin.  Practical, or functional economics is right there where it’s always been, waiting for a dysfunctional government to reveal it.

The practical, or functional worth of an individual as it applies to the real human condition is in what that individual produces, compared to what that same individual consumes.  A farmer who produces 20 tons of wheat in a year and only consumes the value of 10 tons has a practical worth of 10 tons of wheat.  A person who grows 50 beef cattle but only consumes the value of 49 beef cattle has a practical worth of one cow.

Same with hamburger flippers, though the hamburger flippers aren’t getting bonus credit for the secondary product of their profession, creating patients for heart surgeons.

And so on, reduced to its lowest common denominator.

Okay, so what about us useless eaters?  Insurance salesmen, congressmen and senators, presidents, CEOs, billionaires, and drug kingpins living down in the ghetto?  Retirees?  Professional military.   Party girls and celebrities.

Well, we’re all worth the same.  The amount of something we produce, minus what we consume.  We aren’t worth as much as a slum welfare mother who, at least, produces 13 children. 

For the moment, at least, the fabricated illusion is still holding together.  Even with a dysfunctional government ignoring the alternative reality.

But it’s still worth keeping in mind that we useless eaters are all pretty much of equal value when measured by practical or functional economic standards.  Whether we’re retirees, CEOs of multi-national banks, welfare mothers, or inheritors of the Colgate fortune.

Caves in Germany containing the remains of Cro Magnon people 43,000 show they kept their worthless eaters around during prosperous times.  But when times got bare they discovered a strange new respect for functional economics.

Maybe they eventually found themselves blessed with dysfunctional governments and multi-cave marketeers, besides their retirees.

Old Jules

4 Comments

Posted in 2013, America

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Solving the US deficit spending crisis to develop better human beings as food

Posted on October 6, 2013 by | 4 comments

The proposal to resolve the US debt and deficit spending crisis by making 1 billion dollars last week worth 1 actual dollar next week has a lot of merit, by some standards.  The main one being it’s the only way the debt will ever actually get paid.

But there’s another strong argument in favor of it.  Once it’s done there’s absolutely no likelihood anyone’s gonna loan the people who do it anymore money.  Once it’s adopted the US will enter a bright new era of precisely balanced budge and spending practices.

It’s called ‘burning your credit cards’ in the private sector.

Naturally it will work some hardships on some people.  A loaf of bread costing $52 million, for instance, or a package of Raman worth $962 thousand  will slow down eating habits in some households. 

But in the end it will clear up the current debt and reduce accusations by space aliens that worldwide dominant species compulsive consumerism is interfering with their selective breeding programs. 

Breeding human beings to create more palatable cuisine for space aliens has to be the highest priority.  Temporary hardships among the breeding stock can’t be avoided.

Old Jules

4 Comments

Posted in 2013, America

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Japan: “Send us your poor, your hungry and your trouble-makers”

Posted on October 6, 2013 by | 7 comments

Japan PM Seeks Overseas Help on Fukushima Leak

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/japan-pm-seeks-overseas-fukushima-leak-20484958

At least the ones past the age of reproduction.

Watch for the ads appearing on Craigslist:  Employment Opportunity!  Temporary positions in exotic environment.  Rapid advancement for team players.  Apply now.

7 Comments

Posted in 2013, Adventure, America

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US Homeland Security Forces training in Arizona

Posted on October 6, 2013 by | 2 comments

This isn’t precisely them, but someone said Homeland Security’s doing it in some camp in Arizona or New Mexico.  This is probably a more-or-less accurate portrayal of them and how they’d appear if I actually had a photograph of them training, I figures.

Main reason for my thinking so is the abundance of enthusiasm and ammunition they’re blessed with.

Old Jules

It's comforting to think they're out there training to protect us from foreign terrorists.

It’s comforting to think they’re out there training to protect us from foreign terrorists.

2 Comments

Posted in 2013, America

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Wild as a Texas blue norther

Posted on October 6, 2013 by | 6 comments

Hi readers. Thanks for coming by for a read.

This norther turned out to be not all that wild, but it spang brought the first taste of fall.  Caught me not knowing exactly where I’ve got my sleeping caps stored away.  Had to settle for a sweatsuit jacket with a hood.

Cats mostly stayed in the RV with me during the night, though they had to trip outdoors occasionally to make certain things were going okay out there.  Didn’t take them long to decide everything was hunkie dorie enough to scratch on the screen and trust to the Universe to protect things from the space aliens sneaking around out there.

Heluva a fine morning out there.  More stars than I’ve seen for a while, Orion and the Pleiades romancing.

The Toyota RV should be gone from here within the next few days, along with the old 4 Runner and the pickup-bed trailer, got a guy wants the chainlink dog-runs I used for a chicken pen, too.  Put my Toyota RV Onan generator up on Craigslist a few days ago, but it hasn’t drawn any excitement.  Might have to lower my expectations about the value of it.

ONAN RV generator sell or trade for Moped – $275 (Harper, Texas)

http://bigbend.craigslist.org/rvs/4111000059.html

So here I am being methodical about running off into the sunset, which represents something of a behavioral change for me.  But I’m getting a bit long in the tooth to be responding to the wild as a Texas blue norther side of my youthful character I’ve always tried to nurture.

I’m figuring by the end of October I’ll be somewhere I don’t need to be wild to still have a few challenges and healthy moments of self-doubt.

I still have to figure out some way of getting a mailing address in the neighborhood of the Texas/New Mexico boundary, which is probably going to be challenge enough for most usual purposes.

Old Jules

6 Comments

Posted in 2013, Adventure

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Pickin’ Up Beer Cans on the Highway

Posted on October 5, 2013 by | 2 comments

While I’m thinking about Homer Henderson and the Dalworthian Garden Boys I think I’d better go ahead and post this before I forget.

Homer Henderson – Pickin’ Up Beer Cans on the Highway

2 Comments

Posted in 2013, America

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The European circumcision crisis

Posted on October 5, 2013 by | 3 comments

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.

Most of us probably go through life without doing a lot of thinking about circumcision.  I know I have, though I recall being fairly pleased I’d been through it as an infant when my old friend Vic had to have it done at the age of 30.

But in Europe I suppose someone decided just anyone ought not go around cutting the foreskins off male babies unless they’d had a bit of medical training.  They passed a law saying so.  Which thoroughly pissed off Israel, who pronounced it racist.  Evidently Jews and Arabs do it all the time and it’s worked out more-or-less okay.

I suppose if I had to choose and someone was going to take a knife to my pecker I’d rather they knew a little something about what they were doing, but I honestly don’t have a clue.  Mine might have gotten chewed off by a space alien for all I know.

Back in the 1960s there was a joke about a guy, said he got a job at a hospital as a circumcisor.  Said it paid 30 skins a week and a chance to get a head.

And during the ’70s Homer Henderson and the Dalworthian Garden Boys recorded a song, Hillbilly Pecker, about a kid who wasn’t circumcised.  Experienced some trauma when he discovered everyone else was.

HOMER HENDERSON Hillbilly Pecker .

But other than that I haven’t done much thinking about it.  Don’t know whether it’s racist, or not, just anyone taking a blade to a foreskin.

Likely there’ll be shots fired over it before the Europeans and Israel get it worked out.

Old Jules

3 Comments

Posted in 2013, Current Issues

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Inflatable life-size anatomically correct GI Jane dolls for patriots

Posted on October 4, 2013 by | 2 comments

GI Joe doll 2

I don’t know.   The one above is only 12″ tall.

The big ones are designed to be kept under the bed.  Deluxe model comes with double, kingsize or queensized US flag bedspread.

I suppose it’s probably the Chinese making them so you can probably find them on a web search.

Likely they’ll have Asian-looking eyes though.

2 Comments

Posted in 2013, America, Government

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Old Sol’s gender change, fly paper goo in cat fur and Other Matters

Posted on October 4, 2013 by | 6 comments

Hi readers.  Thanks for coming by for a read.  Things are really good here.

I think Old Sol might have done his sex change, finally.  That CME he caughed up September 30, reached earth October 2 and produced rare red aurora theater at both poles of earth, and lots of places in-between.

 
Listen to radar echoes from satellites and meteors, live on listener-supported Space Weather Radio.  
Spaceweather Radio is on the air

JUNO SPACECRAFT TO FLY BY EARTH: Here’s some news you might not hear from NASA because, like much of the US government, the space agency is closed. NASA’s Juno spacecraft will slingshot past Earth on October 9th for a velocity boost en route to Jupiter. At closest approach the spacecraft will be only 347 miles from Earth as it gains an extra 16,000 mph for the long journey ahead. Originally, the Juno mission team was planning to activate Juno’s instruments and practice gathering data during the flyby. Will that still happen? Stay tuned for updates.

RED AURORAS: On October 2nd, a CME hit Earth’s magnetic field, sparking a G2-class geomagnetic storm. Sky watchers on both ends of the Earth saw auroras; many of the lights were rare shades of red. Minoru Yoneto photographed this example from Queenstown, New Zealand:

“This is how the sky looked 11 hours after the CME impact,” says Yoneto, who used a Canon EOS 6D digital camera to record the reds.

Auroras are usually green, and sometimes purple, but seldom do sky watchers see this much red. Red auroras occur some 300 to 500 km above Earth’s surface and are not yet fully understood. Some researchers believe the red lights are linked to a large influx of electrons. When low-energy electrons recombine with oxygen ions in the upper atmosphere, red photons are emitted. At present, space weather forecasters cannot predict when this will occur.

During the storm, even more red auroras were observed over the United States in places like Kansas, Ohio, and Oklahoma.

Meanwhile, the flypaper goo Hydrox got into his fur seems to be neutralized by the wheat flour I worked into his coat, so I think I’ll be able to brush the clogs out without too much difficulty.

Other stuff’s going fairly well, also.  I’m finding a strange new enthusiasm, a budding new patriotism growing in my psyche now that I recognize and accept the fact the US Congress and presidency are occupied by human flesh-eating space aliens.

I'd just been too out of touch to look closely at them.

I’d just been too out of touch to look closely at them.

My previous indifference about government and politics was the result of not having understood what they were about. 

Knowing what they're doing is rational and scientific helps a lot.

Knowing what they’re doing is rational and scientific helps a lot.

The cost of so much secrecy.  But once I understood they were selectively breeding us to make better food animals I’m finally able to get behind the program.  Knowing the key positions of government, finance, multi-national corporations and banks are all filled with space aliens doing things that actually make sense is comforting.

Since they're all the same and filling both parties there's no point registering to vote. But I'd still like to do something to show my support.

Since they’re all the same and filling both parties there’s no point registering to vote. But I’d still like to do something to show my support.

Gives my extinct patriotic instincts a new lease on life.

Old Jules

6 Comments

Posted in Adventure

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